A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello I have been chatting with a man I met on a business website we have been chating for 20 days, from the first few days when he added me on Facebook he said that he liked me but he felt he was too old for me which is 20 year difference, but I told him age is only a number, then he would call me sugar , princess and that his happy we met. I always send him love notes that he says arouses him, and he wishes I was with him to cuddle me and make love to me. We live in the same country but his on holiday and will return. He sends me videos of his locations and photos.We think about each other a lot and at the same time. He always tells me that he likes me and that he wants to make love to me and I just tell him let's be patient. The last time he told me he dreamt of making love to me and it was so intense. I also told him let's me patient. Then he told me that I seem to be a nice girl but am a bit conservative , then he said his open minded with 3 degrees and has experience in life ,he said I aim to get what I think is my world without stupid schedules of subculture approach like let's pretend we are this and soon we will have nothing to do with it. I know what I want he said. Then I asked him what he wants from me and he replied to be my woman, my girl , my friend my companion and just his. Then he told me if I think his my kind I should tell him without pretence or hesitation and if his not he will understand and I should stay in my world. We are planning to meet on 20th July and have lunch together. So my question is what kind of man is he and what kind of relationship can I have with him.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 July 2016):
 Edit :
to adjust his *world *
A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (5 July 2016):
He is the kind of presumptuous older man who would love to get sex from a younger woman without having to do any effort to adjust his " word " to hers, and who hopes he'll find someone who is docile and gullible enough to give him just that.
And you could have with him a casual physical relationship, because that's what he has basically said and not too much between the lines.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2016): He is one smart, conniving old man, isn't he? He has you biting. Hook, line and sinker!He only wants to use you. Your body actually.If you want to be poked by some stiff on Viagra, then that's your business.Just know that he is getting an ego boost from you. Like a vampire sucking the blood of a young woman to keep himself alive and thriving.He is an over-the-hill player who has played this game many times before. Only now he targets an even younger, more naïve audience. He has always done this. He needs to do this because he is unfulfilled. Insecure. Has low self esteem. Or going through a mid life crisis. He needs to reel in and control a younger woman. Only because women his age are wise to his tactics.Do you see that he purposely said he was too old for you? He was trying to feel you out without being rejected. He does not even have the confidence to approach you honestly without having to manipulate an answer in order to get the go ahead from you. A man you have been talking to on a business web site? How did it escalate to all this so quickly? He moves fast. And you allow him to.Think you are the only woman he lays this sweet talking trash on? Don't count on it.Be very careful here.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (5 July 2016):
 I guess you will know when you met him and get to know him.
I have to say, I find it odd to be sending "love notes" to someone you don't really know. 3 weeks of chatting online/text is NOT knowing someone.
Met in public, make the first meeting short. Like coffee or lunch. Don't get in his car or go home with him. HE really IS a stranger still.
My guess is he goes after younger women because women his own age are DONE trying to please a guy, where as someone much younger will go out of their way to make him feel like he isn't "too" old.
Keep the dates to public places as you get to know him IN person. Watch and see if all his worlds really match his actions. My guess is, this guy is a smooth talker. Slippery like an eel with his words. He will say "all the right" things where in fact they are bit hollow when he doesn't even KNOW you that well.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2016): Thank you all for the replies.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (5 July 2016):
 Why are you sending arousing love notes to a man you met 20 days ago on a business website?
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (4 July 2016):
 20 days seems like a lengthy time not to have done so much as meet for coffee,especially if you live in the same town. have you dug around a bit to try see if there is more to his story, like he's married. Dunno just a thought. Either way go in with eyes wide open and realistic expectations. Al the best
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A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A +, writes (4 July 2016):
 He’s no different than he was two days ago when you wrote about him…
He’s a manipulative, cunning, sweet-talking con man… Acting like a Diabetic old man craving for some real Sugar!
So far after 20 days of chatting you’ve managed to show him you’re easily lured and seduced. This classic line; “he felt he was too old for me” with your response; “age is only a number”, exposed and gave him a green light.
It’s your choice to be his Sugar?
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (4 July 2016):
 On an update you gave us yesterday, you said "he said even if he wants to get laid he wants a woman like me, or who looks like me, he thinks about me 3 times a day , every love note I send him arouses him" - that's what he wants from you, OP. He's literally telling you that he just wants sex and is trying to make you feel special by saying they have to look like you. He's creepy and you shouldn't be sending love letters so soon, nor should he be getting aroused to them. Literally everything he says points to sex.Please stop talking to him and move on to nice guys.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2016): Read between the lines, and always always always take your time to attach your feelings. He's an older gent, and he is well-practiced at charming women with all the right moves and words. I think most of it is the seductive language of a player, and he aims to get you in bed as fast as he can.
If you're smart, you'll set the pace of how fast things move, and what happens between you intimately.
Never be manipulated by sweet-talk. That's a test of your gullibility and intelligence.
Always use common-sense to guide your heart, don't let your heart guide your actions. He's got 20 years experience on you, and he's using it. Now you've got some advice, you're well-armed, and you won't get played. If he's legit, he'll be a gentleman and wait.
His actions will demonstrate how he really feels about you, not his words.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 July 2016):
 He has pretty much told you that he wants your body, he wants to have sex with you and be intimate, but it will not go past that, he is pretty much warning you not to enter his world if you are looking for more. The thing is if sex is all you want then go for it and have fun, but if you want more, then stay away from him because you will only fall harder and get hurt more.
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