A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi , I decided to bite the bullet and ask my friend out , there is some chemistry between us and he has told me he does like me in that way . he said he would think about it . How long would you give someone to think ? i dont expect him to get back to me within 24 hrs but i also know over a week is not acceptable , thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (5 July 2016):
 I did the same thing you did, almost 25 years ago. Now I'm only a few months from a 20+ wedding anniversary.
If you know him well then give him the time he will need to decide if he wants to embark on a life-changing date. If you really don't understand him or his motivations then hold out for as long as you can stand.
Best book that got me through the mysterious world of understanding what dating and courtship was about: A Fine Romance by Judith Sills PhD.
I'm giving you a slightly different answer than most because this isn't a case of strangers dating for the first time. This is a case of two people who appear to be attracted to each other; the good news is that you know each other better than most.
You obviously felt it was time, now give him a bit of time to adjust what his options are.
PS you were brave to do what you did so don't worry about that!!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2016): It's his move next. What do you want to do? Chase him until he gives in? No, that's not what you should be doing. You have put yourself out there. Told him how you feel. Just go on with your life. If he takes too long, forget about him. I mean, even the fact he was hesitant from the get go is not a good sign. I think he already blew it. If somebody does not jump at the chance to go out with me and has to think about it, I'd be pretty offended and feel pretty rejected. I would say find yourself another potential boyfriend. And be prepared for the possibility that your friendship with this guy may never be the same as before.
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A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (4 July 2016):
 What's there to think about IF the chemistry is mutual? It wasn't a marriage proposal you asked!
Where did you suggest the two of you go out that requires such thinking; the Arctic Circle? Or did you leave it up in the air?
He should get back to you within 2-3 days max. if he’s interested, as anything else suggests he’s washing his hair that night or has a better offer elsewhere.
For me, his answer should have been given there and then, as who doesn’t know what their doing? He could have politely declined your invite or taken a rain check if it was not good timing for him or graciously accepted. How hard is that?
CAA
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 July 2016):
 Yep, 3rd vote for move on with life.
He now knows you are interested in more and he has done nothing to further that... I would read it as he like you a lot, but... isn't sure about dating you.
And I agree, if he has to "think" about he might just not be THAT into you. Sorry.
Instead I would take it with grace and keep on with life. Don't sit on your hands waiting for a guy to "deem" you date-able... Go find one who would say yes, right off the bat.
If it's because he doesn't want to lose you as a friend... he should just have said so.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (4 July 2016):
 3 or 4 days. Then he can decide if he wants to change the friendship or not.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2016): I agree with Aunt honesty. You asked him out, now go about your life. The ball is in his court; if it takes him too long to decide, either he's not interested, or there's another woman he may be more interested in.
Let me tell you something, girlfriend. When I first met my guy, he asked me out the first day we met. I said yes on the spot. Almost two years later, he's standing next to me right now grilling kabobs, veggies, and stuffed shiitake mushrooms.
If he likes you, he won't waste your time. If it's due to his work schedule, he should have told you that right-off.
He may not be that into you, sweetheart.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 July 2016):
 I don't think you should contact him now at all. The thing is you have told him how you have felt and he says he needs to think about it, so therefore do not contact him now until he contacts you, the longer you wait the more likely it is that he does not feel the same as you. Good luck.
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