A
female
age
41-50,
*ostlove76
writes:Recently broke up with a young man i had been dating for about 4 months. When we started dating he was all I thought I wanted an exclusive relationship. However, as time past I learned that his break up with his ex was more recent than he had disclosed. For the first month and a half of so it was great. Then his ex begin to contact him alleging she was pregnant which was untrue. This was enough of a distraction that everything changed and it became hell but by this time I had exposed to him that I really cared for him and it was hard for me to turn back. It was a rebound relationship a long one but it was just the same. He really played his role she left him when he was at his lowest without a job, his own transportation, and very little finances. I had been off the dating scene because I was just getting me emotions back in order from a bad break up. He came along and i connected with him so I really just let my guard down which is very unusual for me and everyone said this to me and all i could do was say it was just something I saw in him. Now months have past and he really changed he was very distant emotionally we barely even spoke to one another unless he was in need but was always right there but now that he is on his way to getting on his feet with my help all of the sudden he seems to be leaning toward his ex. I just want to ask what kind of heart can you have to mistreat someone who in this period of time lifted you up when you were flat on your ass and have been involved with others who just left you to fend for yourself. If for no other reason regardless of his feelings for the ex he should have at least considered that I was there as a friend if nothing else. He just changed overnight and begin to say things like "he's just not good enough for me" he can't be what I need right now but he doesn't want me out of his life. He tells me I am everything he wants in a woman but he just refuses to let himself have any emotional attachment. HELP HELP HELP
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female
reader, lostlove76 +, writes (30 January 2010):
lostlove76 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanx to all of my replies but I have taken his power and made the decision to retire this relationship. However, I will not say I won't chance it again if I feel he has truly resolved his x issues. I feel that if you love someone enough and it's this hard to be with them let them go and if it's meant to be they will come back to you the RIGHT way!!!!:0) thanx everyone
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2010): Hi. Sorry to hear you have been a victim in his troubled life. If you know you love him and its the real thing, you could try hanging in there. I did when i found i was the rebound girlfriend. Like yourself, my bf was in a mess financially and pretty much every other way. I didnt know i was really the ReB girlfriend when i met him. Because he convinced me i was his everything..but i certainly wasnt!! I found out later that for the first year we were together, he asking his ex wife to have him back! What a blow that was. Id helped him get his life back on track, taken him into my home ect. I gave him an ultimatum. Stay with me and behave or hoof it with his bags. He stayed. That was 3 years ago and we are happy together. It can work but you have to make a stand and mean it. Its no good just hanging around for crumbs of attention and being `there` when he needs you. It wont do your self esteem any good, so be brave and give him a choice. You or the highway x
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (25 January 2010):
I'm afraid to say you've kind of learnt an important lesson. You really have to get to know a guy well before committing to him, and it's so important that you ensure you're not the rebound, as I think you are sadly. This guy clearly has issues he hasn't dealt with and needs to sort them before he's any use to you or any other woman. His heart and mind were in a mess, and he turned to you for comfort. I'm afraid that was all. So be brave and strong for yourself, take your time getting to know other guys and you'll meet a great one.
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