| A
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I'm eighteen and my boyfriend of a year and a half is twenty. we are very in love and he really is the guy i want to marry. the problem is, he is my first relationship whereas i'm his fourth, and i just feel like i wish i had partied a little harder, had more random hook ups before i met him. he's the only guy i've ever slept with and i'm worried that ten years into our marriage or whatever i find myself wishing i had experienced and experimented a little more while i was still young...what is your take on couples taking a break? he's done that before in a previous relationship and said it wasn't the same when they got back together...will i regret ruining things between us forever?
View related questions:
a break, got back together Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dreamie Tofu  +, writes (6 August 2008):
basically your not ready for a committed relationship. Although im younger than you i never had the thought of having a break a break to settle down and have fun and roam around because it can cause more trouble when you guys are finish with the break he might use what you did on your break against you or something. I personally dont believe in breaks if someone wants a break to know other people then for me its over i dont want to be a rebound for you to go around and when your fun time is done you come back. Sorry if i was mean but its your decision =]
A
male
reader, Replacement  +, writes (6 August 2008):
 These thoughts are normal... You're on the verge of settling down for the rest of your life and you're not even out of your teens yet. I imagine most girls your age would be a bit scared of the idea of only sleeping with one guy in their whole lives. More to the point, at your age, you still have a lot of self-discovery to do, finding out who you are and what you want.
I think in your case, YOU, not your boyfriend, should be the priority. It's your life and you get out of it what you put in. If you really need to experiment more, then take a break. If it's 'meant to be', you two will end up together anyway. If not... well, that's life.
But just so you know... the single life isn't that great. The sex isn't as good as it is in a relationship (In my opinion). And it often leaves you feeling like something is missing.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): I agree with both of them. You are not ready to settle down for a relationship. Your having doubts even by your own thoughts. Your very young, and you don't take breaks to sleep with other people, you take breaks to clear your mind.
That should be the reason to take a break.
If your so convinced that you would want to marry him, then you would want to marry him and only him. Your scared that your gonna regret what you do in your life and you shouldn't. If you do what makes you happy and what is best at the time then you have nothing to regret.
You basically want to have a relationship with lots of other people, then come back to him. Things don't work out like that and you need to decide on what you wanna do. You can't keep thinking about things, thinking doesn't get things done.
...............................
A
female
reader, Deema  +, writes (6 August 2008):
 Yes, yes, yes !!!!!! The fact that this is in your head means you really need to go out there and do it, or you may find yourself settled down with someone you'll spend the rest of your life with - and then live to regret it. I met my ex when I was 17. We fell madly in love. At the age of 20 we got engaged, and shortly after that I felt just like you do - I wanted to be free again to travel the world, to have fun, to just be. I wanted the same for him. He was the inexperienced one in our case and I felt he may stray later if he didn't get some experience with other girls. But he wouldn't hear of it. So I wasn't as brave as you and I married him, against my better judgement, and all I feared came true. When I had two young kids he did his straying - just when I needed him most, and he turned out to be a lot more possessive than I needed, so I felt trapped. It took me 30 years to free myself!!! Please don't make the same mistake. x
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): Basically, you're not ready to settle down yet with one man. You haven't done all the living that you'd really like to do beforehand.
As for taking a break, well, he's right - it wouldn't be the same afterwards. Maybe he's not really the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, but you're trying to kid yourself that he is. If you were ready to marry these thoughts wouldn't even be entering your head.
You may well ruin things, but if he's not THE one, what does it matter?
...............................
|
