A
female
age
30-35,
*elly236
writes:Is it too much ? Because for the past 2 years i have been really attracted to someone who is 25 years older . I am not looking for 'the father figure' or he isn't looking for 'sex' . But would it be stupid for us to try and date? Is the gap just too big in this case ? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lampshade69  +, writes (26 April 2012):
I suppose it could work but being married to a man 18yrs my senior I would say NO it doesn't work long term. I'm in my early 40's and still ambitious and adventurous he is almost 60 and just wants to amble around. As he has become older ill health is taking it's toll so now I feel more like his carer than his wife and find myself attracted to guys my own age most days (which is sooo not a good thing)I still look quite young for my age so people often mistake him for my dad. with a gap so large you are from different generations therefore you're on different life paths. The best types of relationships are those where the couple grow, learn, explore and share experiences together. With a gap so large he as already lived a life that you are yet to experience. Sorry but I think you should give this one a wide berth. Good luck
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (23 April 2012):
 25 years can work but in this case I vote no.
As a woman who is 13+ years older than her partner (I'm 52 he's 38) I can tell you that the older partner SHOULD worry that they are too old and will drag the younger partner down.
At 40-48 I was in great shape... by 52 I've become a cripple due to degenerative disc disease.... this came on slowly but the debilitation was swift.... and i actually gave my younger partner the chance to end the relationship as I will be severely compromised later on down the road. I'm not sure many men would be willing to admit their frailties and limitations later in life..
While age gaps are fine, in general the older both partners are the better... so that I don't think a 20 year old girl (or boy) should be with a 45 year old partner... the differences between 20 and 45 are huge.
The differences between 35 and 50, not so bad....
I'd think long and hard about being more than friends with someone that much older than you....
...............................
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (23 April 2012):
Too much.
At your age I once fell for a guy who was 40 and though I considered myself to be very mature for my age, just a few years later (I'm 24 now) I know that wasn't the case and still isn't. I was never going to beat all those years of extra life experience.
Listen, the guy was 25 the day you were born. You haven't even reached that age yet yourself. How in the world would someone like that be compatible to you? You're a kid compared to him. And personally, a guy his age who tries to get with girls your age is a pervert and a creep in my opinion.
I once asked my dad (who is in his early fifties) about what he thought about dating young girls like that and he shuddered at the suggestion, telling me it would make him feel like a pedophile even though the girl is 'legal'. That, to me is a healthy mindset. Sometimes you see these older celebrities dating wayy below their age range and it's kinda sad to see it, as if they're trying to hold onto something that's long been passed.
Lastly, how do you truly know he's not looking for sex? If he's interested in you, he is looking for sex. He sees a young hot thing with perky boobs with just a smidgen of life experience. You're easily manipulated compared to women in his age range. You'd be stupid to go along with it, I'm sorry to say.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2012): My daughter will turn 18 this year: i have already warned her about these old geezers who try to make themselves feel younger by hooking up with mere "babies" . You may think i am a paranoid mother: i guess i am. But im also so very wise when it comes to the older man syndrome. Older men have this tendancy to look for fresh virgin meat (not being crude here, merely saying it like it is). My father was 15 -20 years older than my mother (i dont know the actual age difference because there was a problem with the details on his birth certificate.) My sister married a man 17 years older than her. Both my mother and sister had to take care of these "old" men. "Old" is not just age: it is a state of mind. Its about your life activities. You may think 25 year age gap is sooo neat: a mature adult who can pamper you, give you ample mature sex, can have long intense conversations with and so forth but there will come a time when you will feel stuck. Then the resentment starts. And then slowly the very things that may have caught your interest in the beginning will start to annoy you. Im curious: this man: married/divorced? Kids? Financially fit?
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2012): for your age, yes, 25 years is too much. he is twice as old as you. if you were 40 then it would be okay to date a 65 year old man, but you are 18.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2012): I think it would be hard to sustain it long term because you're at very different life stages and always will be so your priorities and outlook on life may be very different. You can certainly try though. Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2012): Go for it.My boyfriend is 21 years older than me.My half brother is married to someone who is 17 years younger than he is and my parents have a 16 year age gap.Life is so short and you should make the most of it and do what you want to do.Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, Thisiscrazy  +, writes (22 April 2012):
 I feel that it is a very large age gap you are from 2 different eras are you sure your not looking for a daddy figure I find it very hard to understand why you would look for someone so much older. Think of the future if you had children health issues exc
If you like him be friends keep it at that
...............................
A
female
reader, daniellexxxx +, writes (22 April 2012):
 Hi kelly..
No I don't think age really matters aslong as your both over 18.. Some people make a big deal about it but aslong as you both happy who cares.. Make ago of it what's the worst that can happen :) good luck x
...............................
A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (22 April 2012):
 I think that is way to large of an age gap. The things that make up your individual lives is so different. You two may be able to spend some good time together but where does the future go. I'm not one to care what the family would think about it but a few years down the road what will you two have. I just think you will miss out on a lot with dating that man.
...............................
|
