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female
age
36-40,
*eccamega
writes:I've seen a few questions on here about this. Guys if you're in your twenties why don't you want to date someone your own age? Why do you want to be with someone who hasnt even finished school? Is it because it's forbidden? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, feralfox  +, writes (26 December 2011):
Just because a man dates a girl in their teens doesn't mean that he ONLY date girls younger than himself. Sometimes you are simply attracted to someone and feel a connection. It doesn't mean they can't get a woman their age necessarily, it might mean that he simply doesn't want to be with anyone else because he likes the girl for who she is.It's only creepy if it's a pattern and he refuses to date anyone out of that age limit.
A
male
reader, AllTimeHoe  +, writes (19 December 2011):
The simple answer to this question is that men don't want underage girls. But as soon as a girl turns 18, in the USA or 16 in the UK, they can become sexually active. Men like girls who are young, and have the energy. Young women are generally vastly more open to new things, and some older men love this, myself not included. With use of vulgar language I ask, 'what man wouldn't want to 'fuck' a girl open to new things?'.
And before you get your feminist thinking caps on l, don't, because even your husband or partner, even though they say they wouldn't, would much prefer a just legal girl in their bed, than anyone else. Because remember, and sorry to burst your bubblegum dreams, love is just a word men use to get sex.
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male
reader, Odds +, writes (2 December 2011):
 @ OP
I'm talking about instinctual desires, not rational wants. Even then, some people really want kids at 16 - I think this sight gets a couple of teenage girls in here a week asking why they want children.
But think in terms of instincts. A rational 16 year-old (male or female) does not want a kid, because they are expensive and burdensome (not to mention putting a huge crimp in your love life). But how many girls that age just get "caught up in the heat of the moment" and don't insist on condoms? How many guys ask if they can put in "just the tip"? How many teenage girls get pregnant every year, despite the myriad birth control options available? How many pro-choice girls get pregnant, only to discover that they want to keep the baby? How many people make stupid, stupid sexual decisions their whole lives?
These are your instincts at work. They are not rational, they are not conscious, and a decision that makes perfect sense at the time might only seem monumentally stupid after the fact.
Instincts are powerful. Nearly everything we find physically attractive about the opposite gender stems from our instincts. For instance, take the .7 waist/hip ratio. This is the most attractive ratio for a woman to have (in terms of how aroused it makes men), and is also the ratio that a woman in the best physical state for childbearing is going to have. That's not cultural; they've tested the arousal of blind men feeling that shape, and even though blind men obviously haven't been influenced by the media to prefer a certain "look," that's the shape they liked naturally.
If every woman in the world with a waist/hip ratio of 1.1 said tomorrow that they were going to be the most eager, sensual, kinky lovers in the world, and meant it, then the rational choice would be to start dating women with a 1.1 ratio. A lot of guys would do exactly that. But that would have no effect whatsoever on the instinctual attraction to a .7 ratio. Same logic applies to childbearing - it's a stupid decision to risk pregnancy at 16, but people risk it all the time.
Does that clear it up, OP?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2011): "Odds" covered it. Neither the teenage girls nor the grown men are being very mature in these situations. They are both just acting on instincts instead of doing what is best for themselves in the long run.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2011): From what I have seen in my local city/province. Most Adult Males that cross the line and date younger teen girls, have a higher tendancy to be abusive/violent.
More of them have an insecurity, fear of being abandoned, fear of being abused by a woman, fear of being alone, fear of being unloved.
More of them are prone to a personality disorder eg narcissitic, boderline, bi polar, Aspergers Syndrome.
More of them tend to be excessive in drinking, smoking pot, doing drugs, even sleeping around.
More of them tend to make a low income.
More of them come from homes of abuse and neglect.
So a younger woman would be more likely to over look these poor qualities and focus on the physical fitness(protection, sexual images are of older, toned men vs awkward teen boys), Older Men have a job and a place to live vs a teen boy living at home with parents - privacy, maturity, independance. Older men may better appreciate a younger teen for her opinion vs a younger young man that is still trying to form his own opinion and may invalidate fellow teen girls.
Older Men are better at hiding the intent of seeing younger teens as just a means for sex.
Older Men have gotten better at being coercive with getting sex vs a younger boys inexperience.
Not to mention the whole control aspect of the relationship as a Man knows better than a boy would so would have the loftier opinion and experience in the world. Setting up a young teen for an absent Father Figure dynamic.
Canadians Stats:
1 out of 4 women will be sexually assaulted, half of these assaults will be on young women under 16 years of age. Every 17 minutes a woman is raped. Date rapes account for; 60% reported rapes.
4 out of 5 University/College aged women have reported being victims of violence from men in a dating relationship.
Not even included how many incidents go unreported.
http://www.sacha.ca/home.php?sec=17&sub=43
http://www.fsacc.ca/content/45357
http://www.tdsb.on.ca/_site/viewitem.asp?siteid=15&menuid=23082&pageid=20007
Also take into consideration the higher rates of Sexual Predator mentality that has been linked to porn usage and history of porn usage, in that fantasies of rape, and barely legal (porn where 20 somethings look like teens), also the taboo porn of Incest, Older Man and Underage porn (teens/babysitters/cheerleaders) have higher numbers of hits on sites.
The scenario is that teen girls have less power, and also, they want to be shown and taught how to be the best sex partner or become more experienced, or even, sex slave. Fantasy but it still sends out a very clear message.
Media, its teens, for their youth, their slender bodies, that sell the middle aged women beauty products, clothing, shoes, jewellery, even soda drinks. YAY! Such adverts are EVERYWHERE so men get bombarded with what beauty, sexual attractiveness is. Sex sells computers, cars, body scents, soaps, shampoos, shoes, comic books, you name it.
Currently there are studies of the SEXUALIZATION OF GIRLS in how media uses SEX to sell items.
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/63514.php
http://www.aboutourkids.org/articles/sexualization_girls_mental_health_problems_there_connection
http://www.apa.org/pi/women/programs/girls/report.aspx
You take the controversial Pepsi Ad when a 14 year old girl was used. She was shown walking in a bikini, and an older Male (adult body builder by all apperances) was being fought over by another less muscular, younger man. (the greatest soda drink consumers are males ages 12-29) ;)
Is it really a wonder what the appeal would be?
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female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (1 December 2011):
 men don't get with young girls to impregnate them, in fact they normally try as best as they can to do the opposite. But because its nature all men are automatically attractted to younger girls because younger girls are more fertile. Its hard to explain, its not because they have intentions of getting the girl pregnant, but its kind of locked in our genes you see. The whole fertitlity matter is all to do with nature, and would probably take many science lessons to get to the bottom of. Also the other aunts saying that younger girls are maybe a bit more gullible and have lesser baggage and things also make a very valid point.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (1 December 2011):
 It's because the younger girls are likely to be less worldly (less experienced) so won't see through our almost-transparent facade.... and will put out for us....
Girls in their 20's start to get pretty smart!!!!
Why do you ask????
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A
female
reader, meccamega +, writes (1 December 2011):
meccamega is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBut mean what 16 year old would want a child though? Most of them wouldn't even be mature enough mentally.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2011): Its a matter of personal taste, some prefer the maturity of a woman the same age or older too.
I have often heard school / teenage girls being referred to as 'jail bait' by male friends, so not all think they are relationship material do they?
But having said that a fresh faced girl full of life and not already cynical has to be attractive to some.
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female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (1 December 2011):
Both of my brothers would date younger girls. They weren't in their 20s and dating high schoolers, but they were 18 and 19 and dating 14-15 year olds.With my two brothers, the relationships with younger girls were NOT sexual. The girls parents knew my brothers and were perfectly fine with the relationships.Both of my brothers are nice guys who were emotionally immature for their ages when they were dating younger girls. Honestly, i think they dated younger girls because the girls who were closer to their ages could not stand to be around them...let alone accept a date with one of them. By dating younger girls, they were able to get past the incredibly awkward stage in their later teen years.Both of them are now in their twenties. One is married to an 'older' woman and the other is single but is interested in women in his age group and NOT teen girls.For some men, it isn't about sex with teen girls. It is simply that the teen girls have a similar level of emotional immaturity and lack of experience in dating situations. It sounds cliche but it is just a phase that they go through.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 December 2011):
 I don't think it's because she is forbidden, I think in many cases it is because guys are WAY slower in maturing mentally/socially then girls are.
I also think dating someone younger (from a male perspective) means that they (the men) are the "wiser" one in the relationship, the one who "takes care" of things. Also, the younger the women the lesser the baggage.
It might also be that some guys think it's less "work" to date a teenager compared to a peer. They will expect less, because... they know less.
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female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (1 December 2011):
I am a teenage girl, and unfrotunely i have known girls who aren't much older than myself (some even younger but we won't go there) end up with guys in there 30's 20's and even 40's. It is partly i think because yeah it is forbbiden and the whole rush of it all as you can imagine must be quite acelarating. But it is mainly because they are young. Young, thin, pretty girls. Perfect "new" bodies, no strech marks, scars, wrinkles or anything. And weaker minded men can simply not ressist. Also the whole nature and fertitliy point which odds made is another good reason. It after all is common sense in the animal kingdom to go for the ones who have just started being able to have kids, as they have the best chance of being able to be impregnanted so it must be locked in out genes somewhere.
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male
reader, Odds +, writes (1 December 2011):
People's sexual instincts date from caveman days, not from the modern age (actually, all of our instincts do, but we'll stay on sexuality for now). The key point is to ask yourself, what sort of behavior and desires would have led to the most reproductively successful caveman?
For a caveman, the best strategy would have been to impregnate a girl as soon as she was capable of reproducing - this would maximize her "reproductive value" to the caveman, by giving her more available fertile years, and therefore the chance for more children (important when the child mortality rate is high). Similarly, this same set of instincts is what drives men to want to have sex with as many girls as possible (ten minutes out of your day for a shot at reproduction), and to be suspicious of promiscuous women (increased likelihood that her kids won't be yours, and your time and effort raising them is a waste, genetically speaking). Plus, when the caveman is forty, she'll still be, say, thirty, and more fertile than someone his own age.
On the flip side, cavegirl instincts tell us why chicks dig bad boys - that set of behaviors, while unproductive now, would have been great at establishing dominance in a group of cavemen, and dominant men have the best access to resources - and therefore, are the best reproductive choice for cavegirls. Actually, to get back on the guys' side of things, dating a younger girl is an effective way of seeming more socially dominant than you really are. So, since girls like social dominance, everyone wins.
That's the bare-bones version. There's a lot more to it, and genetic/hormonal evidence, but you get the gist.
In any event, instincts don't change. Men still want young (but postpubescent) girls, and girls still want socially dominant men, even when that's a poor choice in modern society. We can always rise above our instincts, but that doesn't make them go away. It's true that in modern society, a 16-year old girl probably lacks the maturity to handle a relationship and the world at large - but back when our instincts were first forming, she would have been a mother at that age.
And, on a less theoretical note, while I haven't dated a teenager since I was one, I do tend to date girls in their early twenties, and that tends to work out much better than girls in their late twenties. Speaking as a man, being just a few years older helps a lot.
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