A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi my boyfriend and i have been together for 2years and everytime we kiss he always just pek kisses me why is that? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell i thank you very much for all your advice i agree strongely with you..its funny ever seen i mention to my bf about the kissing lately hes kissing has inproved even though we still havent talked about what he sayed he knows me well and i know he notices that i am hurt he hasnt talked much about the situation but has change hes kissing for the last couple of days i have observed hem everytime my baby and i kiss ive been doing alot more then usaul to see hes actions about it and it funny because he kisses me right after i kissed my kid idk if he realizes it or what or if thats hes way of showing me that hes sorry..idk i dnt want to argue with hem so i am taking it as actions speek loauder then word my action showed it to hem by showing hem i am not goin to stop kissing my baby over hem nnnooooo way clearly i made my point to hem..and hes action by kissing me after my kid. ...i guess some men just rather not talk about things like we women do but one thing is for sure no man can come between my xoxoxoxs that me and my daugther will forever have...thank you very much jilly for all you have sayed it realy help me alot thank you...god bless u!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell i thank you very much for all your advice i agree strongely with you..its funny ever seen i mention to my bf about the kissing lately hes kissing has inproved even though we still havent talked about what he sayed he knows me well and i know he notices that i am hurt he hasnt talked much about the situation but has change hes kissing for the last couple of days i have observed hem everytime my baby and i kiss ive been doing alot more then usaul to see hes actions about it and it funny because he kisses me right after i kissed my kid idk if he realizes it or what or if thats hes way of showing me that hes sorry..idk i dnt want to argue with hem so i am taking it as actions speek loauder then word my action showed it to hem by showing hem i am not goin to stop kissing my baby over hem nnnooooo way clearly i made my point to hem..and hes action but kissing me after my kid. ...i guess some men just rather not talk about things like we women do but one thing is for sure no man can come between my xoxoxoxs that me and my daugther will forever have...thank you very much jilly for all you have sayed it realy help me alot thank you...god bless u!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): It really doesn't matter IF her daughter is around all the time, or if her daughter kisses her on the lips or cheek, the VITAL factor here, is the man is NOT conducting himself in a way that is healthy for this relationship to be flourishing or healthy.
Why excuses/explanations are being made for a grown man to act in this way is not acceptable. He was well aware he was having a relationship with a woman who has a child, and moved in with her, no excuses for this whatsoever. Too many females look for ways to excuse certain male behaviour, as though he's a child, and needs to coaxed or molly coddled into a grown up attitude. No wonder females become people pleaser's or end up comprising their happiness long-term.
The Original Poster is right, when she says, he could have said, " I don't want to kiss you on the mouth due to previous boyfriends been there, or whatever other excuse he came up with"
Her daughter does come first - and quite rightly so, as this is a child and for her to grow-up with a balanced and healthy ability to connect emotionally, feel secure and loved, where she doesn't grow up in-secure, lacking in self-worth, her mother needs to be able demonstrate love towards her openly. If he can't hack it, then he should return home to his mother. After all he's NOT even being affectionate to this woman when they are alone.
Please evaluate this relationship your in..and good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes my baby is always around and yes she does kiss me on the lip and no its not hes kid...yeah you maybe right about some thing but thats still no reason to use my kid as a excused to not kiss me we dont do much around my kid but when we are alone nothing changes...but maybe he does need to cope with it idk its been a few days now seen this happend and still i havent bother to even talk to hem about it the way i see it if he cant realize it hurt me for hem to say that then i am not goin to be the one to bring it bak up to hes attention hes lost not mine i am doing the best of it...thats like me saying oh i dont want to kiss you because your lips been with your ex and many other women and your kisd that bs to me if you ask...like i sayd i am hurt but ill get over it if not with hem then with myself...thx for the advice...god bless
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes i agree with lot of your points you have lots of good points and thx alot...you knw ive been soo hurt still over it that i just left it alone and sadly we live together already and have been for 6month now...idk i guess the hole kissing issue i think i just noticed it more just recently but i am sure its been goin on for a wild now..i havent talk to hem about what he sayed to me about me kissing my baby because ive been real hurt over it and plus i guess i am dealing with it my way if he doesnt want to kiss me then the hell with hem at least my baby does at this moment thats all that matters to me i am not goin to stop kissing my kid over hem noooooo way at all shit my kid kiss bettr then hem lol jk...but i do thank u for your advice you have sooo many good point of view it makes me realize sooo much and one thing is for sure i dont need hes kisses when i got my babys!!!but i will take you up on what you sayd and have a little chat with hem and hope he is not for realz about what he sayed i will keep you post and thank you so much..good bless.
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male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (1 December 2010):
 Very odd indeed... Is he a germophobe? Could this just be an excuse to distract from the real reason?
There's gotta be more to this and I think you should have a good chat with him about WTF is up... (kids still use "wtf" right? I'm with dirtball on the "hem" thing...wtf is up with that?)
I really hope he wasn't being serious, but if he was, then I agree with everything dearjilly said.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2010): To the original poster.
Well, this boyfriend of yours is certainly a strange one. I know other replies have been that is't NO big deal he doesn't kiss you properly, passionately, that they too have men like it..never heard anything like it. And this last follow-up from you is disturbing to say the least, a grown man says he doesn't kiss you because your daughter kisses you..that is really dreadful, cruel, and so utterly bizarre, and NOT normal..
I'm afraid after this last posting of yours, I'm feeling there is MORE to this kissing than he is letting on, and IF it is as he says anything remotely to do with your daughter kissing you, YOU need to address this with this man in no uncertain terms, and NOT allow him to cause any rift between you and your daughter.
YOU are RIGHT your daughter comes before your boyfriend 100%. He is a grown man ( or should be, and act as one) this is not the behaviour of an adult man who is emotionally mature. AS you don't live with this man ( thankfully, and hope you are not considering living with him with this attitude) you should perhaps be re-evaluating whether you continue in this relationship.
Is HE what you want, does HE provide you with the happiness you're looking for with a man? My guess is NO!
Don't ever settle just to have a man in your life, as when we do this, we tend to end up with men who are not really good as partners - any time we compromise thinking it's better to be someone than be really selective with who we allow into our lives, especially when we have children, it can back-fire.
Personally any man who said this to me about my son or daughter..he would be OUT of my life, but that is me, and you need to think about this, as what he has said to you is not conducive to having a loving and warm relationship. May be he's jealous, may be he has problems with children, may be he as problems full stop, whatever YOU have to lay down the rules and tell him this is not acceptable.
Keep us posted!
Jilly
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell it is getting me dwon it bothers me alot i have a prEtty smile and dnt have smelly brethe lol...but i did ask hem and he just dint say anything after a couple of hours i brought it bak up when i was on the phone with hem and at the sametime wild i was talking to hem my daughther was kissing me and he used that as a excused he sayed that was the reason why he wouldnt kiss me because my daughther kisses me that realy hurt my feeling so i just left it alone and dint bring it back up anymore...im sorry but i am not goin to stop kissing my baby over my bf i am very hurt over it what should i do just leave it alone help plzz//???
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female
reader, DazedConfused  +, writes (1 December 2010):
Its not a big deal, I think yeh the a full blown snog is nice. But if hes giving you lots of little peks that nice to.
I was the same with my ex... and when we were having sex wed have proper tongue action but you dont need to have your tongue jammed in someones mouth for it to be nice. Theres so many different ways of kissing.
But id recommend asking him. I really dont think its a huge issue unless its getting you down.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2010): Right now i am having the same problem with my boyfriend of 2 weeks,for me kissing plays a big part in any relationship and if he does not warm to the idea without even trying then i will end it between us
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (30 November 2010):
 Wait, you're asking the clothing? A "hem" is the process by which clothing is finished. A cut end is folded and sewn into place so it does not fray.
If that's the problem, maybe you should take a sewing class.
Maybe you should try talking to HIM instead of HEM. I never get anywhere talking to a part of my pants either.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNO NOTHING HAS REALY CHANGED JUST THE KISSING IDK IT WIRED MAYBE I JUST NOTICED IT.HES VERY NICE AND WE DO EVERYTHING TOGTHER IDK IL HAVE TO FIND A AWAY TO ASK HEM AFTER ALL I DO TELL HEM AND IM VERY UP FRONT WITH HEM IN EVERYTHING JUST THIS REALY BOTHERS ME.?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2010): Join the club girl! - My man also is a TERRIBLE kisser - maybe the worst I've experienced!! - He kisses me on the mouth - but won't open HIS mouth! - Also he never properly closes his eyes!!
I have tried to bring up the subject and even said to him "One day I'm gonna show you how to kiss properly" - but to no avail!! - Luckily I love him too much to worry about it!
Unfortunately - I think there is little we can do! - Men kiss like this for a reason (ie they don't really like snogging or are insecure about doing it or whatever) - and if they are not prepared to change they won't! - We just have to make up for it in other ways I guess!
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2010): To the Original Poster,
Thanks for the brief follow-up, but to resolve this YOU will have to come straight out and ASK him. As I say if after two years you can't or don't know how to talk about issues, be open with each other, it's a little worrying, as that is how couples resolve issues.
Has anything else changed in your relationship apart from the kissing??
Is he nice to you?
Do you do things together?
Is he affectionate and tactile apart from kissing?
Does he have problems at work?
Has he changed anything within your relationship since NOT kissing?
Jilly
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell no it wasnt like that at first but now its like i am noticing he realy doesnt like kissing me just peks me and i dnt knw how to ask hem or tell hem what the deal is?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2010): How has it taken you two years to be with someone, and NOT kissed properly, as in only a peck as you state, not to have asked or talked about this to him.
If you have left it two years he must be thinking you find this acceptable. At 22-25 I find a little hard to understand why you haven't dealt with this as you're not a teenager just starting to date.
If he has bad breath, or doesn't like kissing, the former can be dealt with, but again, why wouldn't you have mentioned this in two years. If he doesn't like kissing, didn't you NOTICE this at when you began dating?
It might be an idea to GO and ASK him, as regardless of how many answers you get on here, they will be all suggestions to try, taking you even longer to get to the route of the problem. If your in a relationship where you don't kiss properly and CAN'T approach each other and talk about issues, as this suggests, then what are you building for the future..
Just a thought for you to moot around!
PS. Kissing is wonderful and bonds you, you have to resolve this..
Jilly
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female
reader, DenimandLace44 +, writes (30 November 2010):
 dirtball covered it pretty well....
Does he kiss you on the mouth? If he does then, put your hands on either side of his face next time and pull him close...hold him there, and open your mouth a bit and kiss him deeply and see if he responds. If he doesn't you can keep it short and sweet and if he does, go deeper and use your thumbs to caress his face as you kiss. Or have your fingers entwined in his hair. If your guy is shy....it takes a few tries and some time, but if he is into you, it will get better. :)
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (30 November 2010):
Maybe he doesn't like kissing. Maybe he has bad breath. Maybe you've got bad breath. Maybe he's insecure about how he kisses.
Have you asked him? That's the only way you'll find out his reason.
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