A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:what is the right way to deal with seeing my ex wife who i still love with her new boyfriend? we were together 4 years and have been seperated 10 months,she met this guy through one of our many mutual friends and i constantly hear of where they have been etc..im jealous i suppose,and to make things worse they are now trying for a baby,please any help appreciated
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): The last thing you need when recovering from your situation is to have it rubbed in your face - you are bound to feel raw 10 months is not long. I agree with the other posts you have to confront this 'bearer of information' with your feelings and say that you would appreciate it, in coming to terms with your separation, if they could refrain from updating you as it is insensitive. Explain that you need to move on and it would help you to do this. No need to get too detailed - just keep it simple. Perhaps in time then you can focus your attention on building your life afresh.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): I would tell your friends that you would rather not hear news of your ex as it is difficult to deal with. Maybe you give off an attitude that it doesn't bother you, so they feel it is ok. Of course it upsets you. You need to get yourself in the mindset that you have to move on. Easier said than done I know, but not getting constant updates on her life would be a start.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): I'm sorry. I do agree that limiting the contact and information for now is best. This is a difficult situation to be in if you still love her obviously. Maybe in time it will get better and it won't be so painful to hear all the news about them. Some people really are missing a sensitivity chip and they should not be mentioning all of this to you at this stage in time.About seeing them I would not expose yourself to it unless you feel you are ready for that, which obviously you're not right now.
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A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (14 January 2011):
 Yes, I agree with rcn, that the best thing to do is to make clear to any mutual friends/acquaintances that they are not to tell you about her doings. I must say I would have thought they should have known better! But I guess people don't always think first how the person hearing their gossip is going to respond.......
In any case, I'm sorry to hear you have to endure the break up of your marriage, and wish you all the best in your journey to putting it behind you, and moving on with your life......
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (14 January 2011):
 I'm sorry you're going through that. Are you divorced now, or still just separated? If separated, it sounds like she's moved on, so it'd time to finalize that separation. I know the jealousy, and really all you can do at this point is wish her luck in her life, and move on yourself. If someone brings up where she's been, etc. Let them know that you don't want to hear it, and that it'd inappropriate for them to bring it up to you. Healing will take time, but it seems as if she's gone and isn't coming back at this time. That you need to accept, and do the best you can to gather yourself and move on.
I hope this helps.
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