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What is the best way to "come out"?

Tagged as: Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 May 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 30 May 2008)
A male Philippines age 36-40, *es writes:

What's is the best way to be "OUT"? I'm afraid to tell everyone that I am a bisexual? Or worse, a gay? Anyone can help me?

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A male reader, Merisier United States +, writes (30 May 2008):

Well in my opinion I think if you come out now there is gona be a lot of change between you and ur friends and ur family. Before you wana do that, you better think twice. As for me, I'm not gona say I will never come out, but as for now I don't have that in my mind. And again this is your life you wahtever you wana do after all ur not living for people.

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A male reader, aim Philippines +, writes (28 May 2008):

aim agony auntjess. coming out to your friends/family is 90% never easy. i guess it will really be your choice if you want to stay in the closet. and it's really hard to live a lie.

I have only come out to my 2 closest friends and it felt amazing to be able to put a huge load off my chest. i have other friends who i have not come out to because it seems they always have that judgemental side towards gays/bi. I mean i guess you know this because assuming that u really are from the Phil and you're a pinoy, you'd understand what i mean when i say 'how homosexuals are judged' in our country.

you should give me a buzz/message and we could talk about whatevers bothering you, okay?

P.S. kung pinoy ka talaga, message mo lang ako usap tayo about whatever. :)

aim

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008):

The way you worded your question made me so sad. "or worse a gay." I hope your not feeling ashamed or bad about yourself. Sexual preference has nothing to do with how good or bad you are as a person. The people who really love you may need some time to adjust, but will still love you in the end. The people who shun you would have held you back in life no matter what, so let them go and allow that empty space to be filled with people who like you because your a good human not because of who you sleep with. I would have a face to face talk with your closest family and friends if your ready to start dating guys. It will be uncomfortable but you run the risk of running into them on dates. That will start the chain of lies that will be never ending until you tell people the truth. Things always have a way of coming out no matter how good we are at hiding them. So I say just tell a few select people first who you have a good idea will be accepting. Then let them help you with the people who aren't. LOVE YOURSELF, BE PROUD OF WHO YOU ARE, AND FREE YOURSELF TO FIND LOVE IN WHAT EVER SHAPE IT COMES IN. GOOD LUCK!!!!!

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A female reader, Susan Strict United Kingdom +, writes (27 May 2008):

Susan Strict agony auntSo don't tell them, if it worries you. Your sexuality is no one's business other than yours and any partner you have.

You don't have to announce it to the world if you don't want to - you just go find a suitable partner and let other people know about it as and when it feels comfortable to let them know.

It's no different from anything sexual - it's personal. You decide when and how much you want to tell people about what you do and feel sexually.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008):

If it is worrying you so much about 'coming out', is it really necessary that you do? Maybe you could first just talk to someone you trust about your sexuality, maybe your mum/dad or a good friend.

If you are afraid then maybe you shouldn't tell everyone and make an announcement out of it. Just be happy with who you are and who you like, if you like a guy and he likes you back then go for it and don't be afraid to be yourself. If this is what makes you happy then the people who love and care about you should see this and accept who you truly are.

Good luck! Keep us updated!

xx Hope xx

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