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male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have been rejected by a few girls and have lost heart. My track record keeps me from trying as I have no reason to believe I will succeed.I have been aware that women do not find short men attractive and recently i have been following "exposing hieghtism" on twitter. What I have read there is disheartning as there is absloutly nothing I can do about my height and did not choose to be this way. I am only 5'3" and I am 23, so there is no chance of me growing taller.I am wondering if I should just compleatly give up on girls because I don't have what they want and what is it about being a man being short that women find so disgusting?P.S. Anyone who is going to tell me date a shorter girl. Experience has taught me that they are the ones least likely to find a short guy attractive. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2013): Michael J Fox's height: 5ft 4in.
See, all you have to do is be on a hit TV show and make beloved movies!
It's not like there is a continent reserved for all the short men to be sent and die alone.
I know a really short guy who has a really hot girlfriend. Probably because he built a good life instead of moping around constantly checking whether platform shoe technology had improved yet!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2013): If you can become more muscular (start working out more) then that will make you appear bigger framed and give the illusion of being taller.But don't just put on weight, I'm talking about shaping your physique - making your shoulders broader, your arms bigger etc. I had a friend who was short (5'5") but very muscular with a awesome physique, he was a gymnast in college. He did look taller than he actually was because of his physique. He had girls swooning over him all the time, tall girls, short girls, you name it. Of course he was also a nice guy with a great personality too but just saying that being short didn't stop the girls from being attracted to him.my bf is also short (5/6") not super muscular but in good shape, very fit and well proportioned and I think he's very attractive when I see him I do not notice his height he actually looks bigger than he really is. I am a short woman of 5'1". Now before you say this just means I like tall men not so..one of my ex's was 6'4" and I always felt like a mushroom beside him. I did not enjoy being with a guy so much taller than me because it made me feel like I was a little kid again. That wasn't the poor guy's fault of course, it was my own hang up about my height and we broke up for other reasons but this was a nagging feeling the whole time we were together, which I don't have with my current bf.
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female
reader, Sweetheartxo  +, writes (20 March 2013):
I'm not speaking for every woman here but being short isnt 'disgusting' at all or per se, i honestly blame it on society and ofcourse subliminally picking a mate, if a tall woman is out with a short man it could impact her socially (and shes very shallow ofcourse!) and also in picking a mate women want a tall man to simply carry it on.I wouldnt be offended here, i know atleast 5 women who love a shorter man, even my boyfriend was a couple of inches shorter when we met!x
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (19 March 2013):
 There is nothing disgusting about a shorter man. I've has relationships with men the same height as me (5'6"). It's no problem, it's not a turn off at all. It is all about your attitude to yourself, and unfortunately if you have zero self confidence you will put people off and develop (if you haven't already) Small Man Syndrome. And people with that can have attitudes that are disgusting/ unappealing/ off putting. The best advice I can give is to try not to let your height become an obsession. Stop googling about it and following twitter accounts that feed your insecurities and frustration. Work on doing things to improve your self esteem. One of the most "successful" womanisers I know is 5'4"-5'-5" and chubby. I'm not suggesting you become a womaniser but just telling you because it's his attitude and self confidence (and intelligence) that make him attractive.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2013): I actually have noticed that guys my age (18) are shorter than they used to be because they start lifting weights at a really young age. I have maaany friends who are 5'3 - 5'4 and are quite strong and they get with a different girl every weekend!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2013): I'm not going for any therapy. I used to be depressed but I am fine now. I don't put in as much effort into meeting people/girls as i used to because of the results I got.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2013): Few days ago I started talking to one of the women in my GYM, and a minute later she told me that SHE can train me. I asked, why do you think I need you to train me. And you know what she answered? She said, o, I thought you want to get in better shape and loose a few pounds. I asked her back, so you think I need to look like you? She said, not necessarily, but I thought u could use a little help. I just laughed and left. See, this woman immediately assumed seeing that I am not stick thin as her, that this is what I want in life, to be 110 lb at 5.4 height. She thinks that she reached the highest form of beauty being thin as she is. I m a very healthy 135 lb, I m from being overweight, yet this woman sees me as not reaching my full potential in a Beauty department. She actually thinks that this is beatiful to be skinny as she is. She would probably tweet at people like me as awful fat people who don't take care of themselves.In fact I m a vegetarian eating organically and excersizing regularly. I never was as thin as she was. At the age of 18 I was almost 120 lb, and gained a few after my daughter was born. Once I lost 20 lb, and everyone were asking if I was sick, and I was at that time. Why I m telling you this, as I think to live your life thinking that someone hates your height is a terrible way to live. there will be always someone who doesn't like something in you. Actually 5.3 doesn't make you a midget at all. Yes, you are not tall, but I know plenty of couples where wife is taller than husband. Tom Cruise is only 5.4, and I can give you many examples like that. We get rejected, all of us. There are people like that woman in GYM, that think that the whole planet needs to be stick thin. Don't let people get to you. Remember they have their own battles to fight.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (19 March 2013):
 "I no longer make an effort"well then why should folks even bother with you if you can't bother to make an effort? I think you do make an effort and you feel that it's not worth it hence:"i just don't care anymore"YES YOU DO or you would not have posted.are you getting therapy to work on your issues?could you be depressed and if so can you seek treatment?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2013): I posted this question and a girls body is not what i like most about her. I liked the girls I liked because they were kind to me and had very nice personalities. Most people were not kind to me growing up and I only made 4 real friends the closest friend i had was my teacher and I was laughed at by people when I cried when he died.
I have become very reserved over the years and no longer make an effort to make people like me. I just don't care anymore.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2013): I second what Cerebus said, it's your insecurity and obsession that is not exactly "disgusting" but a turn off. I have dated plenty of men shorter than me, a good 3-4 inches shorter. I have noticed a lot of shorter men are very cocky and they overcompensate on things to make up what they lack in stature, like big fancy cars or trucks, they try too hard to impress. Just be yourself and forget about the height issue, it's you that's making a big deal out of nothing!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2013): OP it's not your height women find "disgusting" it's your insecurity about it and obsession with it.
I'm quite short too, only a few inches taller than you, which trust me is very short where I'm from.
I've never had a problem getting women, my sex partner count is nearing triple digits.
When I met my fiancée I was short, fat and bald. Yeah, the big three things that are supposed to make me "ugly". Didn't matter a damn. Sure there women who didn't find me attractive, but hell I find most women unattractive too so it balances itself out. I spent a long while being short, fat and bald and was very promiscuous around that time. I got women who openly told me they didn't think they'd ever get with a bald guy, lots even told me that they weren't interested in getting with a guy like me as I wasn't their type only to still end up waking up next to me.
OP the biggest mistake a guy like you makes is to try and figure out what women want. Who gives a shit what they want? In my over a decade more experience than you in this kind of thing what women say they want and what they actually go for are two different things. I became very successful with them when I figured out that the only thing that mattered was what I wanted. I mean I don't give a shit about a woman's height, so it's logical to assume that there are plenty of women out there that don't care about that either and I was right.
OP insecurity about your height is what is killing your chances, small man syndrome is very likely to be a turn off more than your height itself. Stop giving a shit about something you can't change and just be happy with who you are and if a woman rejects you based on your height then who cares, she's not the only woman out there.
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (19 March 2013):
Its not they find short men "disgusting," its that height/physical size/strength go along with the ability to protect, provide, and hunt, which many women find attractive since it harkens back to our early evolution.
That said, sometimes when the height difference is too great it can be a problem. My suggestion would be to try to date women around 5 ft. There wouldnt be much of an issue then.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 March 2013):
I’ll start with this short men are NOT disgusting.
What is “disgusting” is a man that lacks confidence for whatever reason he deems himself unworthy to date.
This OP is your biggest problem. Not your height, your self-perception and self-hatred are your crippling disorder.
While a man who is 5’3 is not exceptionally tall… as a woman who is 5’2” and can’t wear heels I would find his height acceptable.
While I find tall men attractive and have dated (and married very tall men) I do find the logistics of dating a tall man difficult… when I’m barely above his belt line it’s rather comical to walk arm in arm or kiss while standing.
I think that CindyCares may have a point… are the “girls” that reject you the ones YOU want and yet the girls that want you are the ones you’re not interested in because maybe they don’t meet YOUR criteria for dating?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 March 2013):
 First , " disgusting " is a strong world and is much more negative than " scarcely attractive ", second, not all women, and not a superlarge majority of women feel the same.
My sister ( who was very sought after when she was single and could get mostly any guy she wanted ) passed very casually and comfortably from a 6'3 bf to a 5'4 one. She has no height requirements , her deal breakers are others.
Since you are not dating my sister , though, I realize this is no great comfort to you . Then again , to answer your question : preferences . There's no accounting for preferences, and in fact, even if we try to account for them, biological or cultural ? etc., what's the point. You can't force people to like something. Why women don't like short guys ?... Well, why guys don't like fat chicks ? Why teeth have to be white, regular and straight? Why tits have to be perky, why (some ) bald guys are shamed into hair transplants ?
Yes, you have a disadvantage, for some people, in terms of physical attraction . Yes, you do not have access to all the girls of the planet. Guess what ? It's the same for everybody , with the possible exceptions of movie stars ( and I say possible because, for instance , I have a friend who finds Brad Pitt " creepy " ).
You make the best of what you have , physically, mentally and emotionally, and forget about the rest. Accentuate the posistive and eliminate the negative. Maybe you can focus on your soulful eyes or warm smile or natural elegance, or you are a fantastic dancer , or the best joke teller around, or a gentleman with perfect manners or .... you see were I am getting at. Since, like you said, you won't grow taller, it's futile being bitter about what you don't have, play your cards with what you DO have or CAN have .
If you are very self conscious about your height, THAT will be what will turn people off, more than your height in itself.
Maybe you will have to sweat it a little more in comparison to the tall ones, you'll have to " compensate " somehow. Again, it's the same that often happens to the broke guy against the rich guy, the college drop out against the Harvard graduate, the gym body against the skinny runt, the shy and socially awkward guy against the life-of-the-party type, and so on and so forth.
It's not fair .. but who said that life is fair.
Btw, pardon me if your post makes me a bit suspicious, maybe it's not your case at all, but I have heard too many guys , on DC and IRL, complain about not being able to get girls, that I have to be suspicious.
My suspicion will be this. It won't be by any chance, right, that when you say " girls" you ONLY mean the hotties, the very good looking ones, the belles of the ball ?... Have you ever asked out a fat one, the one with acne, or thick glasses or the big big nose etc.? No? why ?
" What do you mean why ? because I like what I like , and I only like attractive girls ". Fine . Perfect. But then you are doing to them the same you complain they are doing to you. And you ask for perfection, or at least top quality, without being perfect or top quality yourself.
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reader, k_c100 +, writes (19 March 2013):
 Alright I'm going to be honest with you. First things first, short men are not 'disgusting'. That is way OTT, there is no reason that a girl could be so extreme to say a man is 'disgusting' just because of his height.
However you are right, many girls dont want to date short men. That doesnt mean they find short men 'disgusting', it just means that they simply would prefer a taller man. Why? Because women like to feel protected. I am 5"4 and have always liked tall men. Why? Because I like the feeling when they hug you that they swamp you and you are completely protected by them. Some women like to wear heels, so when I wear heels I'm about 5"8 and I dont want to be taller than my man on a night out.
There is not much more to it than that - women like to feel protected, and that is why they like tall men. However saying that my boyfriend is 5"8, so he's not exactly a giant here!
So yes you are at a disadvantage in terms of dating, but then again so are millions of people. What about really overweight people, or really tall people? What about people with physical deformities? I'm sorry if this is a bit harsh but you are not the only person in the world who struggles with dating, you are not the only single man in the world. And you are certainly not the only short guy in the world - yet do you think all short men are single?
You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, stop blaming the world for being unfair and get a grip. There are millions of people around the world who have it far worse than you, some people are victims of acid attacks and will have to live life with severe scarring for the rest of their lives, but they get on with life and a lot will go on to meet new people and be happy.
You just have to try a bit harder than a taller man would, as long as you still make an effort with your appearance, you are a nice person who is fun to be around and you can make a girl laugh eventually you will find someone. I know a few men are short (5"6 and below) and they have girlfriends, yes it took them a bit longer to find someone but they are lovely people with great personalities, they enjoy life and dont wallow in self pity blaming everyone else for their failures in life.
Dont give up on girls, there will be plenty of girls out there who would be more than happy to be with you. Just get on with life and see what happens, you are still young so just enjoy yourself. Make sure you see your friends and go out lots, take up new hobbies and volunteer for a charity. Make your life as interesting and rewarding as possible, women like interesting guys who do more than go out drinking with their friends and spend the rest of the time in the gym. If you are an interesting person and can make a girl laugh you have already won half of the battle.
Dont give up just yet, stop being so defeatist about life and just get on with it - you are letting your height define you and it is making you bitter. There is more to you than just your height, never forget that. Ok so it will take you longer than a tall guy to meet a girl, but one day a girl will see you for who you are and will fall for you. As long as you dont let your height get you down and turn you into a miserable, bitter man who hates the opposite sex.
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female
reader, Got Issues +, writes (19 March 2013):
 Stop reading about heightism on Twitter. It will give you temporary satisfaction to know you're not imagining things, because yes, people do sometimes discriminate against short men, just as they do tall women, overweight people, ethnic minorities, people with red hair (I'm in this category so believe me, I know), men with high voices, women with low voices, people with skin conditions - you name it, someone has it and has suffered because of it. I had a male friend at university who was short, and he said to me one day that he knew that his problem with women was that he always fell for tall women. That was quite telling, because it means that being short is always on his mind and he sees it as a defect, whereas it's actually just a biological fact. I suppose that a lot of women like their man to be taller than them so that they feel protected and somehow more feminine, but as I'm sure others will tell you, there are plenty of women who would happily go out with a confident, kind, happy shorter man who will treat them well. I have a mental list of attributes that I look for in a man, but when I do meet someone I like, he rarely fits that mould. Most women would probably say that pot bellies aren't so attractive, but the last two men I dated had pot bellies and I not only didn't mind, I found them adorable and sexy (albeit unhealthy!). I have another short male friend (maybe 5 ft 4/5) who has been together with his girlfriend for at least 6 years. She is a good 8 inches taller than him, beautiful, popular and fun and she gets a lot of male attention, but she ignores it because she is in love with him. He knows he is short but just lives his life anyway.
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