| A
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: im just wondering on everyone's opinion, looking at this site you see a lot of young girls with pregnancy problems but what in your own opinion is an acceptable age to conceive a child?? i am 19 and me and my boyfriend want to start a family (fingers crossed! but only after iv finished college and we've made up a certain amount of savings) :Dxx
View related questions:
conceive Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni agree with pebble you do sound bitter however you do make a point, a negative one but still one to consider.
i grew up in a single parent home but it was my FATHER who raised my from being tiny. you can not make assumptions about who may run out on a child and who will stay.
i dont want to view my future in a negative way because all the 'negative what ifs' will prevent me from ever doing anything in my life.
as for showing his commitment we have discussed marriage and its an option. i also said there had to be specific amount of saving in out joint account.
'for many guys the desire to have a family goes no further then taking of the condom and showing of their friends that they knocked up a girl.'
i wouldnt choose to start a family with that kind of person also im on the implanon so its my decision when we start trying as it will have to be surgically removed.
thank you for your replies xx
A
female
reader, pebble  +, writes (16 April 2009):
 "Or to put it another way, you are ready to start a family with this guy, when you are ready to be single mother."Wow, that's a bit harsh. Nobody wants to be a single mother, granted, but why do you assume that is automatically going to happen? These two sound like they have a life together. Not every father runs a mile once their baby is born. There are lots of fantastic fathers out there who do a wonderful job of taking care of their of children. Those men should be applauded and praised because they help break the stereotype that only mothers really care about their children.I just don't get your logic here. I really do not understand. You cannot just assume every father is going to p*ss off out with his friends and leave his partner to be a single mother. Making a 'legal commitment' means nothing these days. This is the 21st century. Being married does not mean the man is more likely to be a good father. It's completely irrelevant. And to be honest, you sound a little bitter.
...............................
A
female
reader, love'me  +, writes (16 April 2009):
well it would really depend on whether your doing uni. you said your doing collage so after that you could settle down into a job, earn money, get your life sorted so your ready. there isn't really an age persifically but in my opinion,between the ages of 21-28 :)
...............................
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (16 April 2009):
 Age doesn't have much to do with it.
A. Are you ready to take care of someone who is going to depend on you 24/7/365/18?
B. Do you have the resources to take care of a kid?
C. Have you done everything you wanted to do as a non-parent?
Kids take a LOT of your time and lets be honest, even in our so called modern society it is the woman who usually ends up adjusting her life the most around the baby. Want to trek around europe for bit? Work abroad? Party? Not spent every day knee-deep in diapers with a boyfriend who only wants to hang with his friends and sees you more as a maid then as a mother let alone a lover?
Well then you are ready for a kid.
In your case, your boyfriend wants to start a family. Good. That is nice but his job is easy and over in a flash. You are the one who is to be pregnant and nursing the baby. So HOW has he shown he wants a baby? Saving up? Made a legal commitment to you? Is past the point where he thinks he has free time to spend without his new family?
I somehow doubt it. He might be different but for far to many guys the desire to have a family goes no further then taking of the condom and showing of their friends that they knocked up a girl. Be sure he ain't like that. Which of course he won't be, all the single mothers thought the same.
Or to put it another way, you are ready to start a family with this guy, when you are ready to be single mother.
...............................
A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (16 April 2009):
 best of luck to you hun!you're very down to earth and obviously have your future planned for you :)really hope this works out for you you're very wise!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for all the responses, i feel in my self ready to start a family, we are in a very settled relationship, we have our own house, our own car, we both work and i attend college part time.
however i have decieded that even though i potentially could have a child, and feel confident enough to cope, i am definately going to wait until i finish college so i have a future career behind me, take at least one holiday as a couple and maybe double our savings. maybe when im 21 or 22 i know its only a couple of year but it seems far away.
i think your all right it depends on the person not just the situation :D
xx
...............................
A
female
reader, pebble +, writes (16 April 2009):
I'm 19 and I've just found out that I am pregnant. I will be 20 when the baby is born but like you, I have been worried about the acceptable age part. I look a lot younger than I am, maybe 16 or 17 so I am definately worried about what people in the street will think as I get bigger. I know it shouldn't matter what other people think but it still does to most of us.I think as long as you both are able to support this child and each other emotionally and financially then age shouldn't matter. I mean, a 14 year old girl has no chance of being able to bring her baby up without some serious reliance on other people. But at 19, if you are both working, have your own place, have been together a while and are absolutely sure that you can offer this child a fantastic life then go for it. You sound very considerate and that makes for a great mother.Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, cls1990 +, writes (16 April 2009):
 my partner & i also want a child, i asked for advise on dc too.
We decided to wait until we have moved into a bigger house, bought a new car, been on holiday & saved up some money, all the things that we would have to put on hold if we were to concieve now.
I dont think there is a right or wrong age, aslong as your both ready.
Good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): It depends on a number of things...there is no set age.1) Will the child be born into a stable and loving family? 2) Will that family be able to finacially cope with a baby?3) Are both the mother and father to-be mentally stable?4) Are both the mother and father to-be happy to accept an 18 yr responsibility?You can be 19 and fit all this criteria...yet again you can be 30 and not fit any...I heard a theory however that the best age to have a child biologically is 22. Your body is fully developed and at its childbearing peak. Its also apparently the best age to avoid the generation leap where you'll have a hard time relating with your child when they're older like many older parents do.
...............................
A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (16 April 2009):
well hun whatever age you feel you can handle the responsibility of taking care of a child and having the time to look after it :)as long as you and your boyfriend can look after him or her and you guys are stable because you don't want him to end up leaving you alone with a child?but just make sure you guys are BOTH definite and whenever you guys feel ready make a baby like :)best of luck to you hun!
...............................
|
