A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I recently moved into my own apartment. It's a one bedroom and I don't have any furniture. My long time female friend plans to stay over this weekend so that she can 1. see the place and 2. not have to go all the way home after we watch a movie this weekend. She lives far out of town so it would be easier and safer for her to stay by when the movie ends at night and she can get to work even quicker in the morning. She stays with friends very often but all of them are females.The thing is, I mentioned to her that I only have one bed. She didn't really say anything it was a quick phone call. I don't even have a carpet for Pete's sake.....so... naturally we'd be sharing my only bed.What would the average man and average woman reading this story think or expect will happen....or should happen....if two long time male and female friends share a bed for the night? I'm honestly not sure what I want to go down but I just want to hear what people think about situations like that.
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male
reader, Pepi let pew  +, writes (28 April 2019):
 I think you need to relax and see what happens.. If you are close friends then its all ok to make love and enjoy yourself. But if she says do you mind if we just have a cuddle and go to sleep then you need to respect her wishes.. Who knows you might become lovers and end up getting married. Anyway it goes its going to be a fun night Enjoying each others company and enjoying the movie...
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (27 April 2019):
 I think you'd love for "something" to happen, and you are engineering things to make something happen ( bought plenty of alcohol yet ? ... ) , otherwise the solution is so evident that it would not have escaped you: BUY, or borrow , an air mattress; or a thick sleeping bag, or some sort of foldaway cot. Or, check the ads ( or the nearest Salvation Army branch ) for some dirt cheap second hand piece of bedding/furniture where YOU could sleep on, leaving your bed to your guest ( noblesse oblige ).Just not possible ? Are you in such dire straits financially that , atm, you can't even purchase an unflatable mattress, or a thick pile of second hand blankets !- ?- THEN, it's equally evident that you should have gently excused yourself from accomodating her : " I'd love for you to come and visit, that would be great- only, unluckily there's no way I can put you up decently for the night,- do you want to book a hotel room, or shall we reschedule for some time soon ? "
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2019): Please just roll Over and fall asleep, if she wants sex she’ll Let you know but probably not. She’s just trying to be safe.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (27 April 2019):
 It sounds like you’re wanting something to happen.
It’s really simple to just roll over and fall asleep.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2019): I would think that long-term, things would be better if you are the perfect gentleman.
Unless she comes on to you, she is probably expecting just to sleep.
Even if she is hoping the friendship will turn into something more, she will probably be impressed if you show good manners.
Good luck and enjoy the visit!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (27 April 2019):
 Get an air mattress. They aren't that expensive.
If that is a no-go, then like Youcannotbeserious mentioned, WEAR something like sweatpants and T and keep to YOUR side of the bed.
FWIW I have slept in the same bed as a male friend several time, and it was no big deal because it was NOT going to "evolve" into more than sleeping, and it didn't.
You say you don't know what you WANT to go down that night... so if she was up for you sex would be something you would have WITH your long time female friend?
If so, why do you call her a friend? Friends don't generally fuck. That is not what friendships are about.
So MAYBE you should stick to keeping it in your pants and it being platonic. After all if she doesn't want that or you misread her.. what then? She will be stuck at your place or with a pretty steep taxi bill home if she feels uncomfortable?
Just no.
If you THINK at some point you want this friendship to progress, then DO NOT start it off at YOUR place where she is expecting to JUST sleep over.
And if you aren't SURE, wait until you ARE. Then ASK her out on a REAL date and not for a movie and sleep over. OK?
Otherwise it might just seem like you are taking advantage of her having nowhere to go, really.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2019): You sleep on the sofa, she's a friend
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2019): Well it depends on them what happens, but in most cases they end up having sex. Don't you have one of those unfolding type sofas on which you can crush? Can you afford to buy a decent sofa with an extra pillow and blankets for the occasion?
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (26 April 2019):
 The worst thing about this situation is that you don't appear to know what you want to happen. Are you hoping things will develop between you and you will become a couple, or are you wanting to stay friends?
Do you not have a couch that you can sleep on?
If you are wanting to keep this platonic, sleep in jogging bottoms and a t-shirt or something similar so that it is quite clear nothing sexual is intended and you don't make her feel uncomfortable.
Hopefully you will both be on the same page. Nothing HAS to happen but anything CAN happen. If you have only been friends up to this point and you want to keep things that way, then make it clear by your behaviour. Don't send out mixed singles.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2019): I wouldn't think too much of it. I've shared a bed with my male friends who have not had a couch or anywhere to crash. I wouldn't ruin the friendship by trying anything. I've shared a bed with friends because there's been absolutely no attraction to them. It was like sharing a bed with my brother. If you've been friends for a long time chances are she thinks the same. Get the idea out of your head or you could creep her out
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2019): In the back of my mind I think about sex with all my girl buddies. I bet you do to. If she's game go for it. My wife and I are pretty close. She fantasizes about giving some guys she knows oral, but not others. If a beer truck hit me I'm sure she'd play out her fantasies if the guy made a pass, and go all the way if he wanted. If your friend was a clone of my wife you'd have a 50-50 chance at oral, and more if you wanted.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (26 April 2019):
 Get a camp bed or inflatable single mattress for the floor. If you "don't know what you want to happen" you can NOT share a bed with her. I've shared a bed with 2 male friends and neither of us once thought of it sexually. With one, we "top and tailed" with our heads at opposite ends of the bed and separate blankets.
If you are sharing a bed with a FRIEND (male or female) you do it respectfully, which means NOT thinking of it sexually when they are only thinking of it platonically, unless stated otherwise. However, you are clearly entertaining the idea of a hook up, so you NEED to get a spare bed of some kind or pay for an Air BnB/hotel/inn for her.
It will be creepy for her to share a bed with you while you're thinking of it as potentially something more than just sharing a bed. Say you unintentionally make her uncomfortable, she doesn't have anywhere else to sleep - so either reschedule, pay for a room somewhere else for her or buy a spare bed/mattress of some kind.
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