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What does"I don't want to hurt you" mean?

Tagged as: Dating, Faded love, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 November 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 1 November 2010)
A female United States age 26-29, *iamara writes:

Ok so I really don't understand how stupid,yes stupid,guys can be. So about two days ago my boyfriend texts me saying "Hey,lets just be friends" my heart immediately sank and I texted him back asking why. His respong?... "I don't want to hurt you." We were together for a month and two weeks.

I've asked some of my family memebers about what this mean,since I had already had an idea of what he probably did,and they said it means like he's probably cheated,or is cheating on you and thinks that you'll find out. Which is basicallly what I had said "He either did something he wasn't supposed to or wants to do something he isn't supposed to while he's in a relationship"

Please clarify what "I don't want to hurt you." really means.

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A female reader, PatientlyWaiting1 United States +, writes (1 November 2010):

It is a way to let you down easy hun. We all go through heartbreak, it is a part of life. Does it really matter what it means? Focus on the major point, he ended your relationship. Try not to analyze anymore about this and enjoy your life, you are so young, have fun! I hope you get over him soon. It doesnt even matter why he said what he said.

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A male reader, The Realist Canada +, writes (1 November 2010):

The Realist agony auntI agree with Jmtmj, this doesn't mean he was cheating at all. It could be a possibility but not the only one. Maybe he just knew that he didn't feel how he should with you and instead of dragging it on or using you he knew he had to end it even though text is such a terrible wat to do it. I don't want to hurt you could be the fact that he doesn't want the relationship to go on when he is not sure if he wants it to and then later on when so much more is between you he then decides its not going to work.

Hope this helps and that you can just let it go, Maybe one day you can ask him but it's better to just say it's over and not pick apart all the details.

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (1 November 2010):

Jmtmj agony auntIt certainly doesn't suggest that he has cheated... I've said it before when I thought a girl was more "into" me than I was her, she was more focused on a serious future together and I wasn't. I would have been happy just fooling around with her but it just would have been leading her on, messing with her emotions and eventually hurt her more when we broke up- which I knew was inevitable. Yes its shocking, but words and phrases don't always have second meanings... sometimes they mean exactly what they're supposed to mean.

Its really not worth over-thinking. Even in the slim chance that you did find out he cheated, what would that achieve? Give him the benefit of the doubt and move on.

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