A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my dilemma is i'm in a long distance relationship. when my boyfriend proposed to me, i refused as it was just not possible but he was too adamant and persistent. after much persuasion, i finally accepted his proposal and we went steady for 2 years. but now he is so distant. he doesn't come online, disappears without saying bye on chats, doesn't reply to my emails, and doesn't even call me anymore. i asked him several times to quit if he doesn't want this relationship or if he is finding it difficult to continue, but he refused. if i pursue him, he seems to just run away and ignores me, so i decided to be quiet and it would be easier for him to finish off our relationship,now he is sending emails and asking whats wrong and why im not coming online anymore...I am really confused. what does this guy want from me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot everyone for the lovely & valuable advises. i really appreciate it as there are so many questions to read and answer and u guys chose mine. yes, i will be quiet for sometime and see what he does. if he is serious, then he will follow me like before. ive been steady with him for two yrs and yes i love him and we spent lovely times together and im sure its those moments which bound us still together in what ever way. but its time to get serious now... so atleast i can remember him with good memories....thanks to all again!
A
female
reader, elliebellie  +, writes (3 November 2007):
this guy was one the one who propsed so he should be giving a lot to the relationship. i would ask him why he is being like this. i think you two should be meeting up, talking about your future life, you know that kind of thing. do you only talk to him online?
lol
ellie
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A
female
reader, lilgirly  +, writes (3 November 2007):
 hey,
i had the same exact situation 100% the same , what i did is that i stood up and told him that i want a break up( even thow i loved him so much) but trust me i am a lot happier now because he made me feel that it was my fault that the relationship is torn:S anyways you have to break up with him if you don't love him ..
and if you do then i think you have to fight for your relationship( whatever it takes) but don't look too easy ,show him that you want his respect .. i really hope i helped or could help you more, but i was in the same situation and freezed infront of it didn't know what to do or say and so cunfused. good luck byeXXX
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A
male
reader, nnamm  +, writes (3 November 2007):
Hi,
For a LDR there has to be a lot of trust and lot of communication.Now if u've seriously decided that u should end the relationship,then b firm on ur decision.If u r really very serious bout him,then u can give a last chance.According to what u wrote if i were in ur place then i wudnt change my decision.I think he is confused or he is treating u as an option.
Take Care!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2007): I suggest you be straight forward with him.
Lay down the facts - how he has been treating you, how it has been making you feel etc. He needs to explain. No one deserves to be treated that way in a relationship.
It seems like he may be pushing you away and hoping you will break things off instead of having him do it. Consider whether you want to continue this relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2007): It seems like he wants you in his life, but only as a back up for whatever else is going on for him. He seems very much in control of this situation and in the meantime you are waiting around for him. I think you did the best thing in backing off, maybe you should explain that if he can't commit wholly to you then he can't expect the same back. I was in a similar situation, it turned out the guy had another girl thinking the same as me, that they were in a relationship. I'm not saying it's the same, you just need to be careful.
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