A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So I dated my ex for 5 months, and everything was great except for a few really bad arguments. I wasnt committing to her, because i thought it was too early and wanted us to take our time, and she wound up breaking up with me. I realized i really wanted to be with her, and started to pursue her. She was acting cold, and telling me how she doesnt feel anything for me anymore, we see each other after a month, and sparks were at it highest, we kissed and had a geat time, and i asked her out again and she agreed, but then she ditched me. We spoke again a week later and we agreed to hang out again, then i ditched her for Important reasons.. We started to argue again for another 3 weeks and again she acted cold and continued to say that she can care less about me. on the third week, we saw each other again because she had something of mine at her place, so i texted her that i was going to go get it, and she said that i can go grab it and leave or hang around for a while if i like. I decided to hang around a bit, we talked had wine started kissing again and things got a bit heavy but she wouldn't go all the way. According to her she's dating a New guy, and according to her, She's over me and told me to move on.. My question is this: if she claims she's over me, and didn't want to see me again and is dating a New guy whom she likes alot, then why kiss me so much and hug me and want to hang out with me when just 2 days before she said i need to date and move on and that she wasn't into me anymore?? What do you think she's up to??
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kissing, move on, my ex, spark, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2012): Hey, sorry to hear you were strung around like that. Seems to me that she is somewhat interested in you physically but doesn't want a relationship, for whatever reason.
She's clearly not into you in the way that a proper girlfriend would be, so don't waste time with her. Find someone who will be completely interested in you as a person, not just what you have to offer to a bored girl.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (30 September 2012):
 Whatever her reason, she has moved on so you should probably do the same.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt was just a glass of wine a piece... She kissed me because she wanted to... None of us were tipsy nor drunk.. We were close to having sex but she stopped me and said that she thought it couldn't anywhere because she feels its too "tainted".. The "tainted" part is another story in itself, but i won't get into that.... I feel that either she's scared to get hurt again, or she's having sex already with this other dude and feels it just isn't right... I was just looking for advice...
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (30 September 2012):
Ok...you talked, DRANK WINE, then the kissing began.
Alcohol lowers a person's inhibitions. I doubt she would have kissed you if she had been sober.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (30 September 2012):
 I think she's insecure with guy 2 and wants to make sure there's a back-up plan in case guy 2 doesn't work out. Look if it was a mess the first time around it will be hell the second time so don't let her even think there's a "plan B" available to her, move on and get free of this emotional menage a trois(I know,spelling).
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (30 September 2012):
I agree with Aunty Em's post. Remember that women can use men just as much as men can use women - and you were being played and used a bit.
Best to move on.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (30 September 2012):
I think you were the itch that she just couldn't scratch.
At the start she wanted to be with you but you told her you didn't want to get serious...for many women that is enough to let them know that a guy doesn't think they are good enough and it was all a little too late when you changed your mind.
Since then you guys have been playing cat and mouse, neither one of you really has any respect for the relationship, because you have both continuously bailed out at different times...It was just like a game to you both
As for the kiss, she probably just wanted confirmation that you were into her so she could get an ego boost and feel good about herself (guys do this ALL the time to women, but there is no rule to say a girl can't do it too)
Now she has simply gotten bored of the game and has found someone she likes more and moved on.
My advice to you would be to move on too...because you lost this particular event.
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A
female
reader, cute angel  +, writes (30 September 2012):
 Well this sounds like a game to me 'who gets to be the one to dump?'..when you were dumped your ego was hurt you fought to have her back,and then you dumped her for 'important reasons' as you say,and then you both got back together.I think first off you need to let gooo!!..if she's dating someone and in spite of that kissed you,she could then date you and kiss someone else..trust,faith,commitment is important and when you don't get it from someone,don't waste your time..!!may be what you both have is purely physical I think you should stay away from her,let her realise what she wants in life,she can't date a new guy and yet make out with you when you come over,that's just not right..If she's your ex,let her be your ex,don't let her take over your present,these games you both play should be put behind,and you need to move on..good luck!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2012): She's playing you. If she says that she over you then let that be at that! Don't call, text, email or hang out PERIOD! If she says she done with you then don't entertain her madness. Leave her be. If she tries to contact you again inform her that she had a dude, talk to him. Block phone calls, email, etc of that's what it takes. Stop.dealing with her shenanigans. Best of luck!
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