A
female
age
30-35,
*ervy
writes:Hi there Aunts!So this question definitely won't have just ONE answer, I'm interested in people's views.I would say that I can be a pretty affectionate person with friends I know well, and most of my friends are guys. I don't flirt with them (no innuendo etc.), but I do love hugs and the like (resting head on shoulder etc.). I'm just interested in what you guys would consider the upper limit in physical contact with "just friends" (not friends with benefits). I'm just curious to see if i'm just some terrible affection starved girl who's leading people on!!mervy.
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flirt, friend with benefits Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, mervy +, writes (14 October 2009):
mervy is verified as being by the original poster of the question Wow. Thanks guys for your responses - I totally hadn't thought about it like that, thanks for your perspectives. Luckily I do have lots of old friends that will get thats just me, but I definitely need to be more careful in future, as there's nothing worse than ending up in a situation where you're not interested but he is.
Thanks again!
mervy.
A
male
reader, Heartbroken in love  +, writes (14 October 2009):
lol crazy boy brain is right but so is crazy girl brain. in this situation the girls are at just as much fault as the girls. its unfair to expect a guy to not read into a sustaining embrace or u laying ur head on his shoulder. if a guy become enamored with u as a result of this behavior it wud not be fair for u to accuse him of misinterpreting the signs. most guys are told by men and women that a sustaining embrace is a tell tale signal that a woman might like you. if you don't want to give off the wrong vibe than simply don't be physically affectionate with guys you don't want to be with. also it is not fair to seek affection from a guy if you can't return the affection you receive from him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2009): i have this problem too. I am married and not flirty. I have girl friends but i enjoy talking with guys too. I like the male population as a whole over the female. Even growing up i played with my boy cousins. I make eye contact and smile a lot but keep physical contact to a minimum...somehow some of them interprit my friendliness as a come on. Maybe some of the guys out there can explain this..sorry i am not being helpful...lol.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (14 October 2009):
Yep you are flirting like hell.
Just because you use physical contact to flirt rather than words doesn't change it.
I' a flirty girl and I have got myself into lots of trouble like this.
Boys are STUPID. If you hug them too long, put your head on their shoulder or do things like that then they think you like them and they suddenly get it into their heads that they like you.
You can ONLY have that level of contact if it's an OLD friend who understands this is just you.
Never underestimate the crazy boy brain.
Good Luck!! xx
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