A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm really struggling with this concept. I go on another chat forum and there's an 'older' woman in her 50's that sleeps with loads of blokes. She's married, her husband knows she sleeps about. But the bit I find strange is that she sleeps with youngens. She has older children, grandchildren either. So it seems weird to me. Nobody else comments on it though, which has me wondering if its just me being a prude.Whats your thoughts on it? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): why is it when an older woman takes on a younger man it is frowned upon but when a older man craddle snatches its perceived as normal/ok.
without commenting on what issue the OP posted, i just believe as long as the couple do not hurt anyone, no messing (cheating) around, they have mutual love, respect for each other, then why not. at least the younger guy can go so much more rounds than the older one. hey who said being an older mature woman is not much fun. love should not have this divide.
to all you mature horny woman who "legally' bagged a younger virile man, i salute you.
lets learn to choose our battles.i wish other more pertinent topics cropping up on this site get the same heated responses.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): Janey ,I didn't say your male friend was threatened by the older women but that you are.
It is laughable that you think he is gratedful for them because he doesn't have to do more work if he can't get something better. That is just sad....you are judging these women because of their age, plain and simple.
Your friend doesn't value any woman young or old if they are an easy lay.....his luck doesn't have anything to do with the age of the targets....
I don't even know why I am wasting my breath on you.
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female
reader, HonningKanin  +, writes (8 October 2009):
 I rather not judge the woman in the OPs story as I dont know her. Yes she is married, but it was also said the husband knew. I rather not try and place myself as morally supirior to this woman just because I dont agree with what she is doing. I don't know her situation, I dont know her. We have no idea what the agreements or arrangements that she and her husband could have made in regards to this. She is not the one asking for advice and I only really cared to answer the question the OP asked.
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female
reader, Jayney Y  +, writes (8 October 2009):
 Geez R&B, calm down, hehehe. I'm not talking about people who actually progress and have a genuine relationship, I'm talking about the "one-night-stand" people. Older women who hang around bars looking to pick up younger guys are on the same level as those hair-transplanted middle-aged men preying on drunk young girls. OK, on one level it's not funny at all, it's kinda tragic, but I have a warped sense of humour, and so does my male friend, and I can assure you that he doesn't feel threatened by that kind of woman at all, in fact he's grateful for them because they save him the hard work if he hasn't scored something better by the end of a night.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): as for the promiscuity of a married woman factor, thats just wrong at any age. I wasnt condoning that. Also as a middle aged woman, i will make clear that i do not find young men attractive, in fact, i tend to see more attraction in the men older than myself. But having recently been the recipient of a young guys come on, i was taken back a bit to find myself flattered. And it was a huge ego trip... Lol, so I do think that is a factor. I totally agree that it does seem a little pitiful to see older women trying to compete for a young guys attention, and i too wonder why they wouldnt be after the mature men. Maybe its the ashton kutcher/demi moore thing? I dont know about your particular woman, im just speaking in general terms... ;)
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): What seems kinda wrong to you that she is middle aged and screwing younger men or that she is a married woman and doing that with any man.
I said she was a promiscous minx of course love doesn't come into it for her but why does the age thing bother you more than she is unfaithful and promiscuous?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh I dont think love ever comes into it with this older woman, in fact I know it doesn't. Just seems kinda wrong to me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): By the way, I certainly was not looking for a much younger man, all the men I had dated in the past had always been either a few years older or exactly my same age....this was the first time I ever even went out on a date with a much younger man.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): Wow Janey Y, you are pretty darn threatened by these older women.
I have no idea about the bar scene and older women and younger men, but you are wrong on a lot of counts, there are age gap relationships where the people are in love.
I met my boyfriend 15 years my junior when I was 50 years old and I met him at work. We were in an 8 week training class together where we became friends. After the class was over he used to come over to my cubicle every morning before he started work to talk to me, he also tried to see me on my breaks and stayed late to eat with me during my lunch break. He asked for my phone number and he asked me out. We started as friends, but he pursued me and I was not just another easy lay. He had a five year old daughter who I became very close to, and we were pretty much glued at the hip for two years, 7 months of which we lived together and were quite serious about a possible future. As it turns out things did not work out between us for reasons that have nothing to do with our difference in age, but more to do with the fact that he came from an abusive childhood and is estranged from his parents and he has co commitant problems that an intimate relationship seemed to make more difficult for him, I was in over my head to deal with his issues for which he never had therapy before. I loved him to bits and he loved me, I believe that with all my being, but he was just too difficult to be in relationship with.
So before you go judging that older women are just looking to feel better about themselves and younger men are looking for a lay, don't knock it until you fall in love with someone who is not age appropriate. He didn't look like a baby, he was 6'4" and gorgeous, and I look younger than my years, am young at heart and very active and so is he. We biked, walked, went on canoe trips, hiked and did faux painting with each other as many of our interests were the same.
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male
reader, softtouchmale2003  +, writes (8 October 2009):
 Its sexy. An older woman training a younger man. Fantasy come true for a middle age woman. They call those women "cougars".
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female
reader, Jayney Y +, writes (7 October 2009):
It's a mystery to me, I don't find young guys particularly attractive, because they have limited life experience and look babyish to me. I hate it when I go out and they try to hit on me, and I'd never be stupid enough to believe them when they say they think I'm hot, they so obviously just want the ego trip of telling their equally juvenile mates that they got it together with "an older woman". Just last Saturday night I went out to a bar with a guy friend, and we sat there cracking up laughing at all the desperate middle-aged women, wearing too much make up and too little clothing, making complete fools of themselves hanging around young guys. We noticed that most of the young guys are smashed before they pay any attention to these women. What the women don't realise is that they are just an easy lay with no strings attached and they just sound like an old whore when they bang on about sleeping with young guys. Their appeal has nothing to do with guys thinking they're still attractive whatsoever. But, each to their own. :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009): because it is SUCH an ego trip to be middle aged and some young stud tell you how sexy you are. We are vulnerable to that. Even if we arent looking for a relationship, its just that 'wow, he thinks im hot thing that gets us...'
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female
reader, HonningKanin +, writes (7 October 2009):
That was weird. I goofed on the last line of the post. I am sorry. I ment to type in that by all means if you are not attracted to younger men that there is nothing wrong with that and you are simply are or are not attracted to someone.
HonningKanin
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female
reader, HonningKanin +, writes (7 October 2009):
On a biological standpoint it is also very understandable. Biologically, as women, we are programmed to look for healthy and strong partners. It is pretty much so that when we have sex with them, the likelihood of their sperm will be strong and healthy and in turn will provide us with a strong and healthy child. Remember that in the wild as older males ages they fall by the way side of their younger, stronger and healthier male competitors. When male lions take over a Pride, the females don't care how much younger or older he is to them. By all means that is a bastardisation of biology here because there are other factors and other reasons to why WE as human women are generally attracted to older males like social predisposition. Girls go into puberty way earlier than boys do and reasonably they would not be looking for the younger boys to be getting her pregnant, usually she would look for the secure older male. As humans, older men tend to mean finacial security, stability and the maturity required to handle having kids.
On a purely human psycological level, younger guys to older women can be exciting with their lifestyles and their stamina. They often tend to be more open liberal, especially if they are sleeping with older women, and willing to be more experimental. They come full of vitality and vigor that probably makes her feel younger too. My mother is married to a man 10 years her junior and is only 17 years older than I am(barely old enough to be my father). I think they just fell in love and age was not a factor really, but I am sure she was attracted to his youth and lust for life. That sort of passion is attractive to some people. By all means however if you are not attracte to
Hope that helped at all
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female
reader, lovemybabe17 +, writes (7 October 2009):
when older women start getting old, they feel like they need to be with a younger guy to make themselves feel younger.
it may be weird to you, but to them, its not a big deal.
i dont know much about this subject but thats just what i have heard before.
hope it helped:)
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009): Well she's a promiscuous minx that is all she is. Older women find younger men more virile in the bedroom for one, and of course they are easy on the eyes....same reason older men like younger women.
As far as couples with older women younger men, the same applies, but for me personally, I am still quite active in my 50's and many single men in my age group are fat, lazy and couch potatoes and are big drinkers, none of which I like. Also, younger men grew up in the era of women's lib and they treat women generally more as an equal, they don't have to be asked generally to do their share of housework, etc....they are more like women than men are in their 50's.
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