A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i met my partner 18 yrs ago when i was 19 and he was 43, i realise this is a very large age gap but we had a happy relationship for about 15 years, the only problem we had was my desire to have a child, it always seem to cause a row if i brought up the subject, it all came to an end about 3 yrs ago because amongst other problems in our relationship, mainly money matters we went out for dinner one night and my partner told me he had never wanted children with me, he has 2 from a previous relationship but never sees them, not his choice. He had never told me this before he just kept putting it off saying when the time is right and i am to blame too because i should have said years ago that i would have to move on and find love elsewhere if we did not want the same things, but i just kept hoping that one day he would say now is the right time, i just wanted him to want it as much as me and did not want to just get pregnant and trap him into it, looking back i think that is exactly what i should have done. i left him that night and it has been 3 yrs we have always stayed friends and kept contact and i have had a couple of relationships since that did not work out and he has not had any. i am single at the moment and he has asked me to come back saying that he wants a baby with me now, i do love him still and i know that because i could never seem to cut ties, but i just dont know if its right to have a child with a 60 yr old? on the other hand i am 37 now and dont want to keep waiting and looking for another partner who may turn out to be the wrong one, i just dont know what to do, HELP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): you are not looking at a perfect scenerio either way. ..however which choice will leave you with the least regrets? My baby sister was born 25 years after i was. There is a 19 year gap between her and my next youngest sibling. My father died when she turned 8. She was a menopause baby and unplanned but my mother has never regretted having a child even without a husband and my sister has wonderful memories of our dad. He did play balland many other things. He tucked her in every night...the point is this could be a nightmare and it could be a dream come true. Weigh it carefully and choose what your heart says. Good luck
A
male
reader, Confuzzled012  +, writes (7 October 2009):
 Are you waiting for you husband's time so you can get another partner? This is very odd... people should really think about age differences and the problems they cause later on..
If you want a child, then it's probably the only chance you'll have. Having children must past your age is high risk and what if he doesn't die for another 20 years? Then your time to find someonen else will have passed.. menopause..
This is so inappropriate.. i'll be surprised if this answer gets approved but i really don't know how else to put it..
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (7 October 2009):
 If you realize and can handle the fact that you may end up being a single parent then go ahead.
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female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents +, writes (7 October 2009):
 Well, you're finally getting your wish. Go for it. Life is too short. If you've been wanting a child for this long with this man, my gut feeling is that you know no matter what happens in the end, you are not going to regret having this child. Right? If that is right, then you should probably do this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009): I'm his age. There's no way I would want to father a baby at my age and I don't think he wants to either. A man doesn't change his mind about such a fundamental stance just like that. If I were you I'd endeavour to find out if he's had a vasectomy in the last 3 years, because he might possibly have done just that, and he could be intent on having the fun without the worry.
If he's intact and does get you pregnant, imagine what things will be like for the child in say 15 years time. he could be dead by then. He won't be playing football with the kid, that's for sure.
Think carefully. Don't let your hormones or your heart rule your head.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009): I don't have any idea what you should do, this just makes me tired, LOL.
It seems to me that you are operating from a place of fear and not love.
Since you are you need to play the "what if" game to the end to see if your worst fears are really that important or bad to you.
Is this 60 year old wanting to marry you? When he passes years before you and your child, will you be well taken care of financially? How will you feel losing your husband when you are still a relatively young, but may find it harder to find a partner say in your 50's? Are you OK with being alone after that if it should happen?
I mean I can't play this what if game with you, I am just giving you some examples of how to do it.
It is your decision and yours alone, madam.
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