A
male
age
41-50,
*iddenvy
writes:I have read a few articles on here but i dont feel like any are the same as what im going threw so please read this and offer your opinion. My girlfriend and i have been dating for almost 2 years. A month ago she broke things off with me before she left for a 3 month internship. With the initial break came the heartache i never wanted to feel, she told me that she had been feeling unhappy with things, that she felt unappreciated and unattractive and that for the next 3 months she wanted to do her own thing. This gave me one week before she left to try to fix things, so i begged and cryed and got nowhere. About 3 days after she left we talked and got back together, she said she saw that i was making changes and she missed me and saw me as the one she wanted to be with forever. The following weekend i went and visited her and things were so amazing and refreshed! We continued to float on cloud 9 for 2 weeks after i left. Then came the midnight phone call. She told me that someone had asked her out and although she said no, she really wanted to say yes and she thought she was being unloyal to me for having such thoughts. So we broke things off again. Once again i called and begged and a few days later we were once again talking but not as a couple. I never heard much more about this guy, we would talk or text once a day at least and i felt confident that things were going to be ok. Well so goes the story, i became really jealous of the thought this guy might still be around, and when i asked her she said that they have hung out twice and that she enjoyed his company, but when he leaned in to kiss her she said no because it was not me and it didn't feel right to here. So i asked her to promise me that she would not get physical with anyone during this time away and she would not make the promise, i blew up and said tons of things that i should not have said and now things are not good. I apologized for what i said and we agreed to not talk for a week. Here lies my problem. I am the one who messed things up in the beginning so i cant be mad at what she is doing. But every time i ask her where we stand she tells me that she still loves me, that the felling is not going to go away and that she just wants for us to do our own thing until she gets home and then we can talk and see if we still want to be together. I just don't want used merchandise. I know the love is there, and i know im pushing her away, and im also the one that probably pushed her into seeing another guy with my negativity and fighting all the time. What do i do from her on out to see a positive ending to this situation
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male
reader, B and T +, writes (7 June 2008):
Cake and eat it too. Write this one off as experience, you're only feeling the way you do cause you're the leavee, angry, hurt, pitiful. She is the Leaver but likes manipulating and controlling your emotions. Take a cue from the song 'I gotta brand new girfriend, went to LA for the weekend'!
A
male
reader, jay12toes +, writes (7 June 2008):
 you really dont have much of a choice but to wait, when the 2 of you start talking again be on your best behavior and dont ask her to make any promisis. she says she loves you so just act like the guy she loves and be patient. when she comes back she will tell you how she feel and whether or not she wants to get back together. if she does then just try not to screw it up. and if you put your best side out there and she still dousnt want you then theres nothing you can do but move on.
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