A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i dont know what to do when a father is sexually molesting my two daughters.[Moderator note: more information would be helpful for the aunts to give advice.] Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (25 August 2009):
 This Question hurts because I have been too close to it. People I know too well. I notice that the original poster said "a father" not my husband. A possibly significant point. While the answer to this question seems so obvious, it can be hard to do. Embarrassment, Fear of authority, dependence, or even love can get in the way. I agree that the right thing to do is to gather evidence and report. Or rather report and let the authorities gather the evidence. If there was ever a time to make an accusation that you don't have all the evidence for, to protect a child is it. The case I know the Mother told her Daughter to lock her bedroom door, and did nothing else that we know of. I know another case Where the father/offender went to jail, served his time and was accepted back into the family. I know it is hard to believe. One other Case when the Daughter lied to get out of some other trouble, the accused father refused to fight the charges and went to jail. The daughter continued to use drugs and rip the family apart. In all the cases the family healed but not with out some noticeable scars. Sexual abuse of ones child is a terrible crime. Intervention first, stop the behavior. The offender is going to need the rehab to get over this. That means jail time. The victims also will need a lot of help. Probably for much of their life. Regardless of the one success I know, I believe that this is not something that can be kept "just in the family", firstly to protect the children, secondly to get the help everyone is going to need. I agree strongly with the posters who have said that by not acting you are giving your approval to the crime. I worry when the original poster doesn't write back but in this case I can see that fear may be keeping her from returning. I hope that of the over one hundred people viewing this thread, some have found the courage to act from our answers. I couldn't see it and not add the experience that I have unfortunately shared, in hopes that someone will be spared.
FA
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2009): police obviously
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2009): Anyone who knows about it and has done nothing should be prosecuted also. Who in there right mind would allow someone to hurt there child in this matter and have the gusts to be sitting here typing to Dear Cupid! What is wrong with you, its common sense that he should not be doing that! Take it from someone who was molested, and did not allow it again! The word is NO, STOP IT NOW and kick his A** if you have too! Get out and get out now!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): firstly (i am harsh) you shouldn't be posting on dear cupid. this should be after the fact. You should be at the police station and social services exposing this crime. PLEASE DO THIS NOW.the longer you prolong this, it means that you are also guilty of perpertrating this crime. it means that you are allowing him o conitnue raping these kids simply by ignoring the reality of the situation. then get yourself and the girls counselling. DO IT NOW.
...............................
A
female
reader, channy_2009  +, writes (21 August 2009):
Get out! Seroiously! if your daughters knew that you knew and you havnt done anything about it. They never forgive you. How would you feel in their situation? thinking that you had no1 to turn to. Their father is meant to be sum1 that loves them and that they can trust and he isn't that. This is wrong and your daughters need your support!
...............................
A
female
reader, kayla20 +, writes (21 August 2009):
 support your daughters and get the police involved that guy deserves to be behind bars
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): You need the girl to know that she's being heard and that her needs are going to be met. Allowing her to feel that nothing is being done will kill her soul.
I'd get evidence that nail the MF, and have him sent to prison where he'll get a nice taste of what it's like to have someone snuggle up with you at 11:30 at night and love on you...
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): This is a difficult situations that ruins family relationships if you don't do the right thing. I was molested by my grandfather at the age of 10. After keeping it a secret for 9 months I told my father and his response has hurt me ever since " So what did he rape you if not its not a big deal". After that my father also did the same to me. It has been 9 yrs since that ordeal it still haunts me. Its hard for me to even make love to my husband sometimes now. I hate my dad I had alot of self esteem issues growing up. Don't let your daughters continue to be abused. You need to bea good mother and get your daugthers so help as well as yourself get into a safe environment...
...............................
A
male
reader, The Gentle Man +, writes (21 August 2009):
 All I can say is Police.Everyday you leave them there is another day of torture and abuse.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (21 August 2009):
 Very scary post, I hope you'll get the help you need. I have a link for you. There's a number you can call too for a referral to a local center.
http://centers.rainn.org/
RAINN is the rape, abuse, and incest national network, and serves as a coordinating organization to put victims in touch with help.
Your other option is to take your daughters to a hospital or clinic and report that you believe they've been molested.
Take care.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (21 August 2009):
 I encourage you to seek help from the nearest women's shelter. They can offer you all a safe place to stay and guidance about where to go from here.
...............................
A
female
reader, Jayney Y  +, writes (21 August 2009):
 Can you tell another relative? Do you have anyone to confide in or turn to for advice? Do you have somewhere you could take your daughters to remove them from the environment where it is happening? You have to do something, you have a moral obligation to protect them. Good luck.
...............................
|
