A
female
age
30-35,
*oX15
writes:I've been seeing my boyfriend for 7 months now. It would be an understatement to say that we moved way too fast. He moved in with me, and we weren't even seeing each other for a month. Before that, I spent every day and every night with him. He moved in with me because his cousin kicked him out of his house. So it was sort of necessary for him to move in with me. He met my parents the same week he moved in, but i got the impression my dad didn't like him and my mom felt sorry for him. We lived with each other for five months, and then he went to stay with his parents for the summer. The summer was stressful enough. I cheated on him, and after that, the way he treated me was sad. Every night, we fought. It felt like I've been crying every night since I told him that I cheated on him. We talked about it, and we decided that we're going to try and make it work. So he's moving back in with me. Now he's were it really gets complicated, for me, anyway. My parents have always really supported me. Right now, I'm without a job, and I'm changing apartments, and they're helping me with my first and last months rent, and the deposit. Me and my sister decided to be roommates, so she'll be living with me. My family doesn't know that my boyfriend will also be moving in with me. This is a first. I don't normally bring people who I am seeing around my family because it's a big step for me. My family is the world to me. I have the utmost respect for them, and I wouldn't waste their time introducing them to someone unless I knew they were something special to me. The only reason I introduced him to my parents was because I was obligated to at the time. I want to live with him because I love him. I miss falling asleep beside him every night. I miss making dinner with him. I miss taking walks with him. I love him. But how do I tell my parents that he will be living with me? I mean, I feel like because they are helping me pay my first and last month's rent, and the security deposit, they have a say in who lives there. I want them to accept him, but what if they don't? It's always been hard to talk to my parents about these sorts of things. Part of the reason why I don't bring any boyfriends around is because I don't how they would react because I can't discuss this sort of thing with them. They scare me. I'm 20 years old, and my parents still scare me to death.
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female
reader, kayla20  +, writes (21 August 2009):
 your an adult and should be allowed to make your own decisions and mistakes i no you may feel like your taking the mick as they are paying towards the place but is there no way your boyfriend can contribute towards the place aswell to show he isnt getting something for nothing?it might come across better if you said your boyfriend is moving in with you to help pay the bills or something.what you really have to do is make sure your sister is ok with the idea of him being there as she has to live there too
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): I know for a fact that your parents just want what is best for you, they are older, have more experience in life, and they know you better than this boy does.
I think you can tell them what you are planning on doing, but the fact that you feel so guilty about it tells me that you aren't sure about your choice here.
I understand that you are very fond of this fellow, but what you are describing is just really "playing house". If and when the two of you break up, it is going to make that break up that much more painful because you have given up so much of your personal freedom to live with him 24/7. I know you aren't dating him with the mind of breaking up with him down the road, but frankly, this is more than likely what will happen...because you are both very young (20 is young) and the fact that you are "rushing" your relationship is not a good thing for either one of you. You don't really know this boy all that well, and it bothers me that he wants to move into your place when I bet he isn't going to be pulling his weight financially. There are more young men who are willing to live a parasitic lifestyle off of women then there used to be when I was in my 20's....they see nothing wrong with taking things off of a girl and using her in this way....that is one of my main concerns for you and I am sure it will be what your parents are thinking as well.
Really, living together should be reserved for engaged couples because when you are just living together without that commitment, you always have one foot in the door and one foot out. It is all fun and good for the first few months and then he or you is going to get itchy feet and feel a bit or a lot smothered and then the games and the problems start.
It is a whole lot better to first have a strong foundation built on friendship, common passions and goals, and not just on the sex and romance, and the way to do that is to first get to know each other. You want to have a lot of information about him before you make that kind of commitment of sharing house.
Also, Your sister is going to get very tired of her third roommate and you will most likely cause some problems there.
Think about it, talk to your folks and listen to what they have to say BEFORE you move him in, otherwise they aren't going to respect your decision to sneak him in when they have taken care of you financially, it really isn't fair to them, do you think?
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