A
male
age
36-40,
*earatts
writes:Hey all, I have what I think is an unusual question. For Christmas 2012 I bought my then girlfriend a ring. Not an engagement ring, but a little bit of an expensive ring that has a heart made out of rubies filled in with diamonds. Well her and I broke up the week before Christmas and I'm left with this ring still in the box with wrapping paper on it in a drawer. Her and I were together off and on for almost 7 years and since the break up we've become friends again. I hope toget back with hher someday, but I doubt that will ever happen. My question is, what do I do with this ring? I don't want to return it and get my money back, because I don't really care aboutthe money. I don't want to sell it at a pawn shop or over the internet, because I think That's weird. I don't want to hold on to it forever because it reminds me of our past relationship. I don't want to give it to the person I eventually move on with, because I think that would be creepy to give a current girlfriend a gift that was meant for the person that was here before them. I want to give it to my ex because it was meant for her and she knows that it exists since I told her about it when we split up. I want to give it to her also so she can be reminded about what she walked away from. What should I do? Or should I hold on to it forever and never tell anyone that it still exists? Thanks!
View related questions:
broke up, christmas, money, move on, my ex, split up, the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2013): It almost sounds like you're trying to show her what she's missed out on since the break up. I did the same with my ex, I thought that I could pretty much buy her back.
She's your ex for a reason, there's nothing to gain by giving her the ring. So what if she knows it exists? Your relationship is over. It is extremely unlikely that if you give her the ring, everything will go back to how it was.
If you can get the money back, do so and do something fun with it. There's no point keeping it somewhere, you'll only find it in a few years and all the memories will come back. I certainly wouldn't give it to your ex.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 March 2013):
 Do not give it to her. She won’t be reminded of what she walked away from. She will probably pawn or sell it.
If you don’t care about the money I like Tisha’s suggestion that you return it and donate the money to a charity you like.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 March 2013):
 An expensive gift to an ex ? Never ! She is an ex, she does not need or want from you anything more than birthday wishes IF you have remained in friendly terms.
Anything more than being civil is inappropriate and heavy handed, and will quite possibly either embarass her,or make her think you are tryng to buy her love back, or make you look pathetic. Or all of the above.
If you can't just stick the ring in the bottom of your drawer and forget about it ( until the inevitable day when it will pop up during spring cleaning and you'll be totally comfortable in selling it )...give it to your mom for Mother's Day which is coming up soon :)
...............................
A
female
reader, st4rfish +, writes (28 March 2013):
 I think giving it to her would make you feel better in the short run, but keeping it would be smarter in the long run. If you choose to give it to her, let her know it was meant for her and you thought she should have it, as anonymous stated below. Just keep in mind that once the ring is hers, she can do whatever she wants with it. This includes selling it, gifting it, tossing it, taking it apart, and/or then forgetting about it the next day. She might not appreciate it and accept it only to not hurt you, or even reject it. If you're fine with all of this in mind, then you may give it to her. But I would hate for you to feel any regret. Frankly, the ring sounds quite expensive!I personally recommend safekeeping it. You'll probably come across it one day and decide to sell it for a nice reward. Then you'll thank yourself for not giving it to a "friend" awhile back. I know that's probably the part you don't want to hear, but I feel it's more realistic.Best of luck! Do update us.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (28 March 2013):
 There are so many people out there who could use some help; return it to the shop where you purchased it and donate the money to a wonderful charity that is significant to you both. Then let it go……
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2013): Just give it to her, and make it not creepy or like you're trying anything.Tell her it was intended for her, and you thought she should have it. Plain and simple.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2013): i think u should give it to the girl that u bought it for since it was ment for her even though ur not together
...............................
A
female
reader, katiekate +, writes (27 March 2013):
 Don't give it to your ex! I think you should pack it away somewhere so you won't be constantly reminded of it. And who knows? You might need the money one day, so you can sell it later if you ever need to. She broke up with you, so it seems. She doesn't deserve an expensive piece of jewelry from you. She probably wouldn't appreciate it much, and who knows, she would probably just sell it herself and keep the cash.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2013): If you want to get back together with her you may as well give it to her at some appropriate time. It sounds like you won't be able to move on until things with your ex are more fully resolved. At least if you give it to her you get to see her reaction, lets you know the truth about her feelings once and for all. Beware, may not be what you want tho. But better than clinging to false hope.Good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, jadedpearl +, writes (27 March 2013):
 Give it to her.
...............................
|
