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What do I do about the towel/tampons?

Tagged as: Family, Friends, Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 July 2010) 11 Answers - (Newest, 27 July 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *.love.you writes:

Hey, this is entirely embarrassing for me so please don't laugh or leave a patronizing message.

I'm 15 and have recently gotten with my boyfriend, we're fine and comfortable - everything that I expect from him.

But even the best trust stops at periods. I'm supposed to be going to his house Friday, my period came on today (Tuesday) and they usually last 4-5 days. I dont think it will be finished by Friday so what do I do?!

I've never met his mom at length so I'll feel uncomfortable asking her where to dispose of THOSE THINGS - and it's just the same where periods are the taboo for boys ... I have no idea what to say or do when I have to change my towel/tampon!!

Help me please!!

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A female reader, i.love.you United Kingdom +, writes (27 July 2010):

i.love.you is verified as being by the original poster of the question

i.love.you agony auntThanks everyone, I think I'll let him know that it's 'that time' just so it gets it over with. I'm sure he'll understand because as everyone has pointed out rightly that it's natural.

As for getting rid of them, I think the bags are a great idea and I can hide them in my handbag that has the odd CD, hairbrush and mints in.

Thank you everyone, you've helped me so much :)

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A female reader, londonmiss United Kingdom +, writes (27 July 2010):

londonmiss agony auntwrap it up in toilet paper and throw it in the bin in the bathroom - most people have one, if not keep it wrapped up and put it in another bin - if its well wrapped up no one is going to know! also who will stick their hand in the bin and unwrap it?

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A female reader, SirenaBlusera Mexico +, writes (27 July 2010):

SirenaBlusera agony auntIsn't there a bin in the toilet room? Just bring a small brown paper bag, wrap it up in that and dispose of it.

Tampons are usually flushable, but in some buildings, the plumbing just can't handle it.

This isn't a dumb question, it's understandable that you want to make a good impression. I can understand why you're uncomfortable telling your boyfriend, but he would understand, I'm sure. All women have a "cycle," it's just part of nature.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2010):

Take a purse with you. Wrap up the tampons and put them in there and dispose of them when you get home.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2010):

Listen, don't ask his mom. If you're embarrassed about asking on here, asking your boyfriends mother you've never met is a little bit more embarrassing. Also, first impressions and all that, so asking where you could possibly put your dirty tampon isn't a great start.

Obviously take a normal bag with you to put your towels/tampons in. When you need to change, ask if you can go the bathroom and search for a bin in there. Most bathrooms have one. If he doesn't, take a little period bag, (they do sell these, and they smell nice) and put it in there then pop it back in your normal bag. Then leave it in there until you find a bin or when you go home. Or possibly just put it in a normal bag and sneakily pop it in the bin where ever it is/kitchen perhaps, if no ones in there that is.

It's funny, because I remember being in the same situation when I first met my boyfriend. I never thought I'd EVER talk to him about such a thing. Believe me, these things become completely normal once being with someone for a while. But anyway, I just remember being in that position and he had no bin in his bathroom! I had no bag and there were people in his kitchen! It left me with no choice but to flush it down the toilet! True story :)

I just hoped his toilet wouldn't get blocked and someone finding it in the pipes or something, now THAT would be embarrassing.

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (27 July 2010):

AuntyEm agony auntBuy some nappy sacks from the pound shop. Double wrap your tampons or towels and bin them when you get home.

Boys know more than girls think and for most it's not a big deal and unless he's really immature, I am sure you could just let him know that your on.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States +, writes (26 July 2010):

Fatherly Advice agony auntYou have two choices, Talk to his mom, after all you want to get to know her, and you know for sure that she understands your predicament. Or, Take a large bag, with some small bags inside. There is even a company that makes discrete pink baggies just for this. I'm not familiar with what is available in the UK but, check at your chemist.

I suppose you could just cancel the date but you shouldn't.

I once gave some advice to a young man whose girlfriend expected him to ignore her one week out of every month. I told him that some day he would want to get married. Chances were very good that the person he would want to marry would be a woman. So there was no reason not to learn right now how to deal with the monthly menstrual cycle. Messes and hormones and mood swings it is all part of life and everyone has to deal with it.

Same goes for you. Sooner or later you are going to have to discuss your feminine sanitation needs with a guy. First Girl I ever had that talk with was your age. Just seems to come up when you start to get close to a person.

When it comes right down to it you don't need to say anything, if you make a point of taking your bag when you go to the loo His mom will figure it out instantly. If he has had sisters he will as well.

Relax it will be ok.

FA

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010):

Wrap it up in a plastic bag and toilet roll and tale it home to dispose of.

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A female reader, MissTHANG United States +, writes (26 July 2010):

MissTHANG agony auntDear Embarrased Girl,

You can do a couple of things.

First, you should level with your boyfriend, and just say something like, "Hey, I don't know any other way to bring this up, but it's "that time" for me - how do you feel about this is relation to...." (Fill in the blanks, or he can)

I know it may be uncomfortable for you to do so, but remember, it's a natural part of life, and he's got to know that you have a period because you're a woman, right?

And, if he's a nice guy, chances are you will be pleasantly surprised and he won't be mean or non-supportive.

As for the Mom, wait to see if she is "approachable" when you meet her. Most mothers are VERY understanding about things like this because Hey, they've been through it themselves. If you wear pads, she'll probably let you know where you can find tissue to wrap it up in, and bags to dispose of them in. If it's tampons, you can probably get away with flushing them down the toilet - although, the thought that the toilet could clog up has probably crossed your mind, right?

So, on the chance that Mom wont' be so friendly and if you aren't comfortable with flushing - plan ahead of time to bring a large duffle bag with you.

Have things previously "planted as props" inside - like books, CDs, and extra sweater - whatever. BE SURE to have a bunch of tissues or paper towels and a few plastic grocery sacks in your duffel bag. AND be sure to bring a brush and hairspray, as well. You'll see why in a moment

If push comes to shove, and Mom doesn't seem so "approachable" then when THAT time comes - go into the bathroom with your duffel bag and close the door. Say you need to fix your hair as an excuse as to why you brought the bag with you. Use the bathroom like normal. Wrap the used kotex or tampon in the tissue or paper towels while you're in there - wrap them up tight - and double bag them. Either dispose of them in an outside garbage can when opportunity knocks, or bag them up one more time and zip it up into inside pocket of your duffel bag.

Hope one of those ideas helped!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010):

Hi,its not a stupid question, its something we've all woried about. What I would suggest is to buy some little disposable bags u can put any used towels or tampons in ( you can buy them in chemists or supermarkets) and use them. Either put them in the bathroom bin if there is one, or you can always store them in your bag ( if theyre well wrapped they shud b fine) till u get home to dispose of them. hope that helps

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A male reader, Kenj United Kingdom +, writes (26 July 2010):

Kenj agony auntYou could carry strong plastic bags with you as well as spare towels. After you change yourself, put the used one in the bag and take it home with you to dispose of in the bin.

Dont be embarassed talking about it, its nature.

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