A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,i was wondering if anyone could help me. Ive been in a long distance relationship for two years now, everything was great, were in love and then one night we got inna fight and after he apoligized to me he starting to be a real *dick over the phone that same night, and then said he doesnt wanna talk to me for a long time. i got very emotional and angry and broke up with him. now he's hurt more than ever and was toatlly heartbroken. i tried calling him back right after i did it cause i realized my mistake and didit outta anger , he wouldnt answer my calls. so i left him alone to cool down and i call back that same night and we were talking and he was crying and i was crying and it was a big mess! but i apoligized and said i dont wanna lose himm and then we stayed up till 7 am just watching tv together over the phone and i thought everything was fine. then the next day he texted me and said can we talk. so i called him and he said he doesnt feel the same about me, but didnt lose love for me( which i didnt understand) and i said why are you just now telling me that? and he said he had time to think. and i try talking to him but he really was acting like i didnt feel bad about him him, and said " i think it was to easy for you to hurt me" and i tried to convince him that i did do it outta anger and i love him and my feelings havent changed, but he was sorta just like not beliving anything. and said he wants to go so he has more time to think. so i let him go. and now i feel horriable that i hurt him and he doesnt think so. i wanna know what i should do or say to him to make him understand i wanna make it work?
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female
reader, G's_Girl  +, writes (30 May 2012):
 Hi Anonymous,Sorry about your fight with your boyfriend, and subsequent break up.Both of you were hurt and angry, and things were said that you didn't really mean. However, his security was shattered when you broke up with him over it, because he will fear it can happen anytime as you seemed to do it "so easily" as he said. A more mature guy would have handled it better, and as you mature yourself you too will handle arguments better and not threaten to break up every time a difficult situation arises.I would say now that you have given him time to think and to cool off, write him a well thought out letter, explaining your thoughts and feelings. Even an email. Something he can read, and then decide how he wants to procees. Or a letter which you hand deliver, allow him time to read it all the way through, and then you both discuss it afterwards.Explain how you felt, why you were hurt, how in anger and through lack of experience and maturity you retaliated with threatening to break up because you were so hurt. Don't accuse, don't point fingers, only share how you felt. He can then listen, understand and share how he feels, and whether he wants to try again.Good luck and Best Wishes.
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