A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid,My daughter is 13 years old and for the past couple of months she seems to be really miserable, i've tried talking to her, i've even asked what is wrong but she always says nothing, my husband tried to find out why she is so miserbale but we have no idea, every time we ask she says nothing.I don't get what is making her so miserble because she don't have a boyfriend never has, she never had a kiss from a boy, she still has her virginity, she has laready started her periods and she had no fuss about that, there are no family problems everything is fine at home and at school and even at school i went in and asked her form teacher she said she gets on well and that nothing seems to be wrong, i've said to the teacher to keep an eye on her, i even asked her mates they go they don't know, and that she is fine at school. What i find most weird is, every child at some point finds it embarassing for their parents to drop them off to school, and even my daughter did but a lot of times she has asked me to drop her off. She even gets to spend a lot of time with me and her dad. She has always been a happy nice person. But she don't seem that happy much now. Her weight is fine, she don't fuss about calories. Lately she has been spending way to much time thinking, then having fun.Any suggestions of what is making her soo miserable, or any way to get through to her.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2008): It's most likely a mix of period/mood swings and some school problems, or a fall out with a friend, or low self esteem. She will be fine, I was very very moody at that age for no good reason, it's natural I think - just give her space and support when she asks for it and she'll be okay.
Keep an eye out though for bullying, lots of kids get bullied in schools and don't talk about it at home, form teachers often have NO clue that this is going on.
A
female
reader, chica_23  +, writes (5 January 2008):
Dont overthink this. As a teenager i have passed many of these things myself, and the answer is to let her sort it out, and spend some time together to see if she opens up. It could be something as simple as her crushing on a boy, or anything of the sort, and it will pass, just try to relate to her, without being pushy, or she will give you the same answer of NOTHING is wrong.
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A
female
reader, Crisy +, writes (4 January 2008):
 I know it doesnt seem like it, but your daughter may be having problems with friends mabye her and her friend likes the same boy or something. Silly little things are really emotional to young girls.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008): well, im a teenager and when i split from my first bf i was devastated.i didnt tell my mum so she didnt know what was wrong with me. maybe this is the same situation. just ask her if she is intersted in any boys and just have a chat with her. let her know you understand and are willing to talk any time. she will see you are concerned and hopefully open up. she will feel better for it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008): thanks eeryone for answering the question
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A
female
reader, elliebellie +, writes (4 January 2008):
hiim a 13 year old girl. and some of the time my mum asks me that question. why whats wrong? she always asks. i just say nothing or i dont know. sometimes even i cant explain whats wrong or i dont even know why im feeling miserable. i guess our bodies are all changing andd some things we cant explain. its normal. please dont worry and blame yourself too much.hope this helpedplease feel free to mail me about anything else you wanna talk aboutlolelliexxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008): Are you over analysing the situation? Thinking too much? Your childs (teenagers) life and emotions are not a reflection of you and its not your fault or bad parenting and so maybe you just need to 'be there' when needed. I think its great to just do things together and be as casual as possible so that your daughter does not feel crowded. Once you start asking questions the wall goes up.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008): one word: hormones
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008): I have had exactly the same with my son who is 16 this monday. He has a face like a fiddle most of the time and we used to have so much fun when he was younger. But we dont know and that is the answer, they are growing up and going through all the hormone stuff, exams and battles at school, etc which just does their heads in.
My son had an added misery with the fact that we moved in with my partner and his son, also a similar age and he just hates the situation and the set up, which you dont seem to have. I would try and have a talk to her gently but if she doesnt want to then dont force the issue. If you really are worried then maybe have a word with her form teacher and put in the picture, it could be just that she has fallen out with her best friend. But at this age, the world is wrong and always will be in their eyes. I hope it all works out for you.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008): im 14 years old and im a girl..when i was 14 i was miserable because i COULDENT get a boyfriend. and i felt like the odd one out because all my mates had kissed boys and things and i hadent!! this might not be the case but it could be..or she might of fallen out with her mates or something or maybe shes just goin through teenage stage like i am i can be miserable aswell!! just whatever u do .. do not pester her about it let her come to you otherwise it will end up in a fallout and thats the last thing you want =) xx
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A
male
reader, Asexy +, writes (4 January 2008):
 Ask her while you're driving in the car. That way you're not looking at her. Try to get her to go with you to someplace that's 30 minutes away, to give yourselves more time, then ask her.
"You don't seem as happy as you used to. You know, if you share what's going on, we may be able to help. I don't want to pry, I just want you to be happy. Is there anything we can do to help?"
Then listen. Fingers crossed that when she feels she's not being grilled (NOT that this is what you're doing) she'll loosen up.
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