A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi all, im feeling really depressed and i know its only going to get worse.I want to be a midwife and my school adviser told me to apply for the midwifery course straight away. I did this, and got rejected. This being because they prefer you to be a nurse already before undertaking the course. (This is what the university said to me.) By the time that I had heard from them with this feedback it was too late too apply for the nursing course itself. The university told me that there would be places in clearing and to look out for them and they would definatley try to get me on there course then. Clearing came and after 45 mins of waiting on hold i was told the last 3 spaces had just been fufilled. Its made me really low, all of my friends are moving away to university and im left at home. My only hope was that my best friend had her entry deferred for next septemeber when i would be going to university, yet she failed her exams. So the university has given her a place on there foundation course starting this september and therefore now she's going as well. I feel like she's rubbing it in my face that she failed and is still going yet i passed and im staying at home.My boyfriend has just started his course and has made new friends already and is thourougly enjoying it. The only friend i have staying home took a gap year and therefore is doing her A levels now and will be going to university next year. Shes studying full time and has her own friends now.Im so depressed, the university have told me they will definatley give me a space for next year either march/september but now I have to find something to do with my life for a year. I have no friends around me and feel totally alone. I havent got a job as i was not planning on having to work full time, and as i do not want permanent work its becoming very diffcult for me to find a job as i can not tell them whether Im not going to university in march or september.Does anybody have any advice for me? on what i could do in order to meet people my age and make friends whilst keeping myself busy? thank you.
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female
reader, kittykins +, writes (8 September 2011):
 Aww, dear. I feel for you as I know what it's like to be lonely:( I agree with Mariab completely. This could be seen as a powerful opportunity to do something amazing with your life. My ex's lifelong dream was to go backpacking around Asia. He finally managed to do so 2 years ago and it was to the most amazing experience of his life!! Whatever you do, do not be discouraged by the setbacks you've experienced so far. New opportunities will arise for you if you make yourself available to them. Take dance classes, attend knitting groups, baking clubs, anything that will get you out there with people that share common interests, and you'll make friends in no time at all:)
Good Luck with everything. And DON'T WORRY, you'll be fine:) xxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2011): Awww I feel for you. I'm sort of in the same position. However, I wanted to do Law. I got all my offers when I applied for uni though. But on results day I got rejected from my firm but my insurance gave me an unconditional offer. I received an email from my insurance and the woman said if she could have a copy of my GCSE Maths at grade B. However, I've already got a C so I explained to her. Apparantely I was supposed to re-sit my C for a B. However, I checked my UCAS and this was not even part of my condition. It's weird because like in April my insurance had sent an email to all law applicants that the uni is receiving emails from applicants who are recieving emails from the uni regarding the changes of their condition and that if anyone receives such an email should just ignore it. I mean seriously, how can they do that? It doesn't even make sense. I emailed the woman and said that I never re-sat my GCSE because I was not even advised to. So the next day later I got am email from UCAS saying my status had changed... Yes you've guessed it. The uni declined my offer. I feel distraught as I'm not even going to university now. It's stupid :(. I feel your pain x
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (8 September 2011):
 You could ask for the nursing coursework material and get a year's headstart on your fellow students! You could find somewhere to volunteer until March.
If you don't knew exactly when you're going to start uni, assume that it will be in March, that way you're not letting the volunteer organization or temporary workplace down when you do leave.
You sound really down in the dumps, I don't blame you for that, but now is the time to enjoy your last bit of freedom before all your adult responsibilities come crushing down on you. Breathe! Live! Enjoy!
I have a link for you to help get you started: http://www.actionforhappiness.org/
If you can't think of what to do, look at that link and maybe start up your own version of making people happy around you.
Good luck and congratulations for knowing what you want to do with your future!
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A
female
reader, Blod +, writes (8 September 2011):
 Poor you. I hope you've made a complaint about your school adviser. She got it very wrong!
I think, despite everything, you've got a pretty good opportunity this year. You wanted to go to uni now, but it's almost as if it wasn't meant to be.
The good thing is that professions in caring want people with as much experience as possible. Occupations such as midwifery and social care come after years of experience. Qualified nurses often aren't taking on to do midwifery at once; they prefer people with a lot of experience. So this year could really be of value to you and give you a head start for next year.
You've passed so you don't need to worry about exams. Just focus on getting as much experience as possible in caring. Finding a job can be very difficult, so you need to concentrate more on gap year schemes. Online's a good place to find them. Another possibility is volunteering. No, you don't get paid but it looks great on your CV because you're showing initiative. Even if you find work in a care home, that'd be great. As you want to go into a profession that's all about working with patients, the greater variety of people you meet and care for, the better!
As for making friends, that comes with time. So long as you go out, you'll meet people; and if you look up gap year schemes, you might find a few people in the same predicament as you. Remember that pretty much anyone can be a friend.
I really feel for you and you have every right to be feeling down but remember that this year is just a temporary measure. Find something to keep yourself busy and you'll be ok. This feeling will pass.
I hope I've been of help.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Monica  +, writes (8 September 2011):
I feel you and i understand what you are going through. However, it is time for you to use this time wisely, since you want to be a midwife/ nurse how about some volunteer work in a home or a nearby hospital?
You could acquire a new skill during this time; baking, sewing, beading, hairdressing e.t.c
It will fill your days, you will meet people and you will gain a thing or two.
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A
female
reader, Mariab +, writes (8 September 2011):
 I think you should view this as an opportunity!!! I took 3 gap years after my A-Levels - travelled and had the time of my life. I worked odd jobs and saved little money and moved on. Google backpacking in Europe, jobs in Paris, Italy, Germany, etc - assisting chefs in restaurants, bar work, shearing sheep in NZ, farm hand etc...(sometimes they don't pay you, but they can provide free acommodation and food) use this time to get some life experience. You won't regret it and it will reflect positively on your CV. Your friends in Uni will be sooooo jealous. Don't sit at home feeling sad... There is a whole world out there and sooo many other students will be doing the same thing as yourself! LIVE!!! HAVE A BALL!!!! You are young and the world is your oyster!!! xx
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