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writes: How do I get over him?OK, so I finally decided not to get back with my ex. It's great to finally have a little clarity in my life, but I'm not exactly happy! Because the split was amicable and we didn't really fall out, I'm finding it really hard to move on...any hints, tips? Please don't say 'try to be friends'; I find that makes things worse. I've tried it. Thank you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): Hi,
I'm in a pretty similiar situation. My ex and i parted in May. Having a long distance relationship, 2nd time we've tried and he was supposed to be moving. He changed his mind but didnt tell me, we just started arguing and i got lower and lower and eventually couldnt take any more. I am so sad still but try and remind myself that it didnt work and life goes on. You must focus on what you want out of life and try and do the things that being you a wee bit of joy and comfort. Above all, be patient with yourself, it takes time to heal..... good luck
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2007): Hey! it's a really good, big step that you decided not to go back out with your ex again. Some people think that when they want to go back out again, they really mean it. They don't-- they just feel sorry for making you upset. It'll happen again and you'll be in the same situation that you are today. You don't have to be friends with him, but don't act like your mad or upset. I don't know if this helped any, but it helps me! Good Luck. =]
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2007): Dont worry we all go through this stage. Just remember you will feel likw you cant go on and you cant live without him at this stage bt you WILL get over him.
* Start a new hobby , set your self a goal , feel incontrol of something again.
*spend time with your girls. you may have neglected them slightly since youve been with your partner (we all do it) arrange dinner or a movie.
*spring clean getting rid of everything that reminds you of him
*Dont listen to sad depressing tunes. Beware of 'Your song' it will make you cry. Find a sing that gives you courage. Play it over and over again.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2007): I'm still dealing with the hurt and pain that I've been left with, but here's a few tips that I'm using at the moment-1. EXERCISE! God you feel so good after having a jog or run. When I'm out there pounding that footpath I don't think about him, all I think about is how good the freedom of being able to just run feels. And plus next time you see him, you'll look and feel sexy so that look on his face makes it all worth while.2. SPRING CLEAN! Get out those rubber gloves and clean. Throw everything of his in a box including photos of him, his clothes, cologne, toothbrush... And either return it or throw it out. Leave nothing in your personal space to remind you of him.3. CRY! Release all the bitterness, anger and rage through sad movies and music. I find anything by Coldplay, James Blunt or even Ronan Keating helps. Grab the tissues, close the bedroom door and get a comfy pillow, your gonna need them.4. LAUGH! Learn to laugh. Rent a funny dvd, go see a stand-up comedy show, dance around the lounge room in your underwear. Do whatever makes you feel good.5. LEARN! Learn from what went wrong this time. Only now is the time that you'll truly know what to do.Fill that void he has left with you with, with puzzles, books, dvds, exercise regimes, nights out with the girls, go bowling (when was the last time you did that), go shopping, spend a few hours at ikea. And if it gets you jealous when you think of him with another woman, I try and think of all the things about him that irritated me and it makes it easier. I hope I have given you some hope to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back onto your own two feet.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2007): 1. Tell yourself that there are plenty of other guys in the world and hes definatley not the only one who you'll love.
2. Have a big girl day. Full of spa stuff with your girlfriends.
3. Delete, erase, and thown away the stuff that reminds you of him
4. Focus on something new, school, jobs, sports, anythhing that will get your mind off it
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007): 1.Write him a letter that you don't plan on sending, describing in great detail everything that was wrong with the relationship, up to the break up. Dwell on each detail and cry it all away.
2.Remove all of his stuff from your place, delete his number on speed dial, letters, photos, everything that reminds you of him should be removed.
3.Watch "Sex and the City" in your pj's whike eating popcorn, ice cream (whatever floats your boat).
4.Listen to "Alanis Morissette" -Jagged Little Pill, dress up like a rock star and sing and dance in front of your bedroom mirror.
5.Tell yourself that he's moved to a far unreachable place and call your girlfriends instead.
6. Look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself: This is very hard, but I can do it because I am an awesome person.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2006): i know exactly how you feel, when most people say that there not being truthful, just trying to be supportive, but trust me its not the end of the world even though it may seem like it. i have 1 way that might work for you...
firstly, take everything that remides you of him, put it in a box and put that box somewhere where you an forget about it, get rid of it and t will make it seem so much easyer,
next delte all his numbers you have on your phone, all the texts anything from him, his email everything.
then the hardest part, moveing on, your need to get on with your life, if you see him say hi maybe but nly if he says it first, dont stop to talk just pass by, i hope it all goes well xxx
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reader, communicatrix +, writes (11 June 2005):
 If you really want to be friends with this guy, great--be friends. Only not for a year. Or two, or three, or whatever you feel like needs to pass until you can see him with NO longing whatsoever.Now...let's take care of you. This is your time to do what you like, to live for yourself, to find out every wonderful thing there is to know about you! Go out with the girls...all night long! Eat crackers in bed! Run off on a solo trip to somewhere fab (or even somewhere dull) on the spur of the moment, even if it's for an afternoon only, reveling in the fact that you need call NO ONE to let him know when you'll be home. Flirt. Read. Sleep in. Let the dishes pile up. Do the dishes at 3am. You get the idea. You can't *not* think of something, so if you've got ex on the brain, turn your monkey mind to something else--even a stupid movie or cleaning out the sock drawer. Eventually, you'll find him and your loss and the pain popping up less and your rich, new life occupying you more. And before you know it, you'll have created room in your heart for a great, new love to move in...and you'll have changed and grown strong enough that the new love will be richer, fuller and far more rewarding than you could have dreamed of.I'm so over-the-moon proud of you for being strong. Stay strong. This, too, shall pass.
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reader, honey62002 +, writes (9 June 2005):
(Maybe not the perfect advice...but from my recent personal experience....)I'm in exactly the same situation right now and i can't do the friends thing either, as although you probably know it's right you broke up, there are still a lot of feeling there and memories of good times which - can, especially when youre having a low self esteem day make you want to go back to the relationship! If you are lucky enough to be able to cut all ties - do that - it really is the best way. If like me you have tried to cut ties but that ex keeps haunting you the only advice i can give you is to keep your head up and get through each day like i am. Just think if it hurts now at least the next time it happens in a relationship you will have learnt how to cope with it and it will, really, make you a stronger person.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2005): Stop thinking about his sorry ass all the time. Who is more important to you. Him or you? Learn to love yourself more than you love him and you will get over him quickly.
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reader, Your big sis +, writes (9 June 2005):
 Cut all ties completely. Tell him you need space to get over the relationship. If you're still friends, he should understand. And if he doesn't, oh well. You are in control of you. And you have to take care of yourself. Take the necessary steps to heal your heart and in time you will get over him.
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