A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid ,I really want a valentine I haven"t been in a relationship for 11 years now my kids are grown and my son is about to graduate and is going off to a higher education I can't really get out cause I am a caregiver for my mom who is an amputee .What measures can I take to enjoy valentines day with that special guy. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (24 January 2014):
 Try a dating website. It's an easy way to meet people. Go for a site where you have to pay a small subscription as you won't meet so many time-wasters.
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (24 January 2014):
Dear OP,
For last christmas, I really wanted someone to kiss under the mistle toe.. didn't happen :(. I don't say this to discourage you, just maybe after 11 years of being single, wanting someone until Valentine's Day is a bit of a rush?
Finding somebody might take more time than just a month. But anyway, my advice is to join a good dating site (where people pay and are looking for relationships). I've got a friend who was single for 7 years and she met her love online - it was the first date she even had through that site. So, these things can happen, if you're ready and lucky. Another possibility is speed dating, where about 8-10 women meet 8-10 guys and only get to talk to each one for about 7 minutes at a time. This is a little more awkward than online dating but can turn out a fun evening (just google speed dating in your region).
Regardless of your dating situation, have you ever thought about involving more people in the care of your mother? So that you get to go out and have fun every now and then? If you never get out, it will be difficult to have a relationship.. I don't mean you should let her down. Just not sacrifice all your needs and wants.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (24 January 2014):
 First you need to go where the men are…like…outside the house. Smile, and bring your “I am good for you” thoughts. What your mind thinks, your body follows. Not saying to be trashy or anything like that. Stay away from bars unless you are looking for a guy who most likely would not call you back. Stay away from dating sites…Why? Most men have egos, and they are competing on that site to get a woman, or to get laid. They will tell you all you want to hear to get what they want. Not say all of those men are like that, but it’s like buy vegetables online. The picture of the vegetables looks great and fresh, until you see it for real.Men are everywhere, and to get us is a lot easier than you think. A good old fashion smile, a positive spirit (not the look of my life is so hard, and it all on my face), and the biggest, most nerve racking thing you can do to get a guy is…. “Hi…how are you today?” Oh the terror!!! For most people, it really is that terrifying.Remember one thing…The internet is new, women have been getting guys for centuries before now, and a simple “hello” from either one would start things off.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (24 January 2014):
 Maybe join a dating site? As valentines day approaches, those sites become flooded with people who can feel a little down about not having a partner.
Be honest about yourself and include a few recent photos of yourself. List your hobbies and interests and try to note down what it is you are looking for in a partner.
Lining up a couple of dinner dates is a nice thing to do around Feb 14th and can get you in a romantic mood.
Good luck x
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (24 January 2014):
Hi there. Perhaps you might want to start some hobbies or interests where both men and women can join in.
An interest that would appeal to both genders, rather than an interest where only females would go.
It's a great way to meet some like minded people.
Check out your yellow pages phone book under "clubs" - or check out on the internet, for interests and hobbies for both men and women.
It's probably not going to happen that you meet someone, when St Valentine's Day is just 3 weeks away.
But you never know.
You don't really want to hang out at bars with some of your friends, and meet some half drunk man who will forget who you are when he wakes up the next morning.
Of course, not all men get that intoxicated, that they are only half conscious by the end of the night.
What about one of your local clubs?
People go the clubs and sit and talk and have a few drinks and perhaps a meal, and will stay there for quite a few hours.
Because, short of starting a new hobby between now and St Valentine's Day, going out and socializing is the quickest way to get talking to many nice, and good quality men.
You don't really want to go out and just sleep with anybody for the sake of having someone.
I can see you would like someone special in your life, and you can always have many friends.
Friendships don't have to lead to serious relationships.
It really just depends on what you want to gain from dating different men.
Whether you have ideas of eventually finding someone to share the rest of your life with, or just someone to casually date from time to time.
You don't want to meet someone who isn't worthy of you, and who may use you for sex, or who might physically abuse you.
So you have to set your standards high, and don't just settle for the first good looking man who comes along.
It is far better to be alone and really happy, than to have someone for the sake of not being alone - and be completely miserable.
Some people choose to go onto internet dating sites, but many times people go on there and lie about who they really are, and might say they are single, and actually be happily married - and just feeling a little bored at the moment.
This is why internet dating can be a bit of a minefield sometimes, if you are not fully aware.
The other problem, is that when you do meet someone and get chatting with them, you end up finding out they live several hours drive away from you, or on the other side of the world.
And so then you can't even see them anyway, so what is the point?
Long Distance Relationships can be very lonely indeed, so do yourself a favour, and don't even consider it.
You need to take the pressure off yourself to find someone to date by St Valentine's Day.
Perhaps think more along the lines of, that you would like someone to go out with - and set no deadline for when it is to happen by.
It will happen when it is meant to.
And then see what happens.
I wish you well.
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