A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:So I have been married to a man for 4 years, and the last 2 years have been bad. He actually said a couple of months ago that completing his education ( he is in Masters program) was more important than me. About a week after that I had decided I had enough of him. I also reconnected with someone I had dated before him on a social network site. He and I ended our relationship about a month before I met my future husband because he had been married to my best friend and I did not want to hurt her. After a few weeks of talking,and me planning my exodus from my marriage, I left my husband and got an apt and told him we were over. He wont leave me alone. I want to openly date and I cannot because I am afraid people will talk. I am very much in love with this person and plan to marry him. what can I do so people dont think I left my husband for him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2010): btw, I LOVE THE TITLE. it says it all.
you may jusify what you have done to yourself BUT you entertained a third party while still married. look up the definition of marriage: it is bet 2 people, not a 3rd party as well. this man you are now sleeping with was married to your best friend (and while he was married to her you were in his life as a 3rd party).
whther people talk or not should not be the real concern here. it is whether you strayed and the answer is YES. i think what will be discussed will be the time frame from moving from your husbands bed into your lovers.
where does your 'former" best friend fit in. have you thought of how you sleeping with her ex/husband will be viewed. instead of worrying about people, look at your actions instead. you do know that there is an element of truth if people start talking.
A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom  +, writes (23 March 2010):
 Well for a start, if they know you're officially separated, and your ex is harrassing you, then people aren't gonna like it. You shouldn't really care about what other people think, but if you're that worried, keep your new relationship on the down low for a month. And anyway, you haven't done anything wrong, so if people talk you know its all gossip, and hopefully the people closest to you will recognise this as well =]
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok, well just to reinforce. I did not leave my husband for him. I had already planned even the date of leaving ( waiting until my children were with their dad for the weekend) I also was told by my husband how much he hated my older son. He is 17 and can be very difficult.When this guy, (we will call him L) and I dated before I was married, we both had strong feelings for each other. I should have never let how his exwife felt bother me. His ex was my best friend and she and I were on Holiday together and she cheated on him during our trip. we dated AFTER their divorce when she had moved on. I hate to say this, but I am happier than ever and reallly hope I can not let what others think affect our relationship
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2010): It seems
Ego battle has killed many marriages. Many a times people says some thing to their spouses out of egos only.
If DH says study is important than you, he never meant that.
but in this world of relationship, no one is bad or good. Just that what they think and what they say in anger and fights is what break the home.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (23 March 2010):
You can't stop the talk. Even if you didn't date for a year, then you dated, people would say you left him for another man or something. Just leave and date. All that matters is you. And if anyone asks, tell them, your husband said what he said and clearly didn't love you.
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A
male
reader, weparley +, writes (23 March 2010):
Either way it goes... people are still going to find out. So why hide it? Inless it's more to the story you're not saying?
I mean... it happens everyday people leave there spouse for another. Just be straight up about it. "It is what it is."
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