A
female
age
41-50,
*inkypoos1974
writes:hi every1 i need help im really feeling down about my life i have 3 children 2 with an ex that hasnt bothered to see his children in 9yrs that was not nice for me or my children found that hard to cope with. he was violent to me but never wanted him to stop seeing his children i feel i have failed my children. i have a new baby who is 9mths now but my partner is awfull towards my other 2 children thought he would change the way he was towards them wen our lil boy came into the world but it never did he has known my children longer than there own dad and he has never formed a bond with them does this make me a bad person for stayin with him my house is a war zone i hate it as i am in the middle of this feel so torn wat can i do? i have told him how it affects me but he tells me to shut up or if we fall out and i try kick him out he says he will stop does for a few days then it just goes bk
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male
reader, Paladin  +, writes (9 March 2008):
 All relationships need to be built on trust and respect. Do you really believe he respects you? I think you need to have a serious heart to heart conversation with him and tell hin exactly how you feel and what you expect oput of the relationship. You should sit down with a piece of paper and a pen and write it all down first. However, you also need to be prepared with responses to whatever his responses are as well as the possibility that you may need to terminate the relationship. I do not suggest getting into any strong conversation if you are not prepared to walk. You wrongfully let him disrepect you and your children for a long time and in all likelihood he will not think you have the guts to go through with any threats. So if you do proceed be ready to follow up on your threats.
A
female
reader, Arcada +, writes (9 March 2008):
I understand how you must feel, A friend of mine is going through the same thing. You must feel torn and constantly walking on egg shells. Your kids have been through enough, they dont desere to be treated this way and it will affect them for the rest of their lives.
He is never going to change, and it sounds like he has no respect for you.
Dont be afraid to be on your own, at least you will have some peace!
I am also a single mother of 3 children, by 2 different dads, its not what I wanted but thats life. As Forest Gumps mum says, "life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get!"
You are still young and will meet someone else, someone who treats you and your children with respect.
Take care, message me anytime!
xx
You and your children deserve better!
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