A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I´m 23 years old. I`ve had my share of bad luck in love. I´m afraid I´ve been labled a boring 2nd choice when it comes to dating. I want the female readers to be very honest when they answer. What are the principal characteristics that would make a man to die for. I would particularly appreciate advice in the area of:1. Body2. Hair3. ClothesI would greatly appreciate any help that you can give Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (16 July 2008):
 Okay, you've heard all the answers. Everyone is completely right. These things aren't what is truly important and any girl who dates you exclusively because of your hair, bod and clothes is NOT a girl who you want to be in a relationship with.
However. There is ONE THING that is very important with all of these things.
Cleanliness. All though what I think you really need is CONFIDENCE, it is still important that you be clean when trying to attract a girl. Because you ma be the most amazing soul on the face of the planet, but being smelly is a bit of a turn off. So please, take showers, clean clothes, clean out your ears, there you go.
Otherwise, what is most important in a man to me: a guy who can make me laugh, be adventurous with me, be compassionate towards me, my family and his, a guy has ambitions and goals in his life. A guy who trusts me, who I can trust, who I feel happy and safe with. Respect.
So go forth, go clean, be yourself and relax. A wonderful woman will find you soon!
xx India
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008): Oh sorry, Dear Caller, I got distracted. If you mix together what the other aunts have said, I'm telling you that's nearly what I call a perfect man.
PS: Women really do go for laughs, men that cook, a strong sense of humor and all those other things. Looks and clothes are good, but they don't entertain and keep you happy on a cold winters night.
...............................
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (16 July 2008):
 It's pressing onto midnight here in old Chicago. You will have to forgive Miss Numnums for the reference of three women in a baked beans and/or mud fight. Danielsan and Honorable poster, the Aunties get a wee bit wound up at times, but please be aware that we all have answered previously before we got a bit, um, well, frankly, normal for at least myself!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (16 July 2008):
I think we need either baked beans or mud in order to keep Daniel entertained...
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008): Some women are so illogical. They get so emotional they haven't even noticed that I stole their man. Finders keepers, you two were busy, so I kept him entertained.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (16 July 2008):
 Now hold on there miss kitty ninja fighter... I saw him first!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (16 July 2008):
Wait a minute...
MY guy travels all the time...
EVERY WEEK in fact...
Where EXACTLY do you Live Tisha???
Don't make me come over there!!!
CAT FIGHT!
Meowrhhh!!! Sssppt!!!! Ssspttt!!!! Sppttttt!!!!
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (16 July 2008):
 Sorry Fade, I hadn't seen your post when I wrote this. Consider yourself included in my own post.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (16 July 2008):
Birdy and Tisha are great aunts and you should always pay attention to what they say. I want to add my grain of sand.
Your question was open, and you were willing to receive any answer, but the points you wanted particular help with were body, hair and clothes.
You can wear different clothes. You can change your hair, dye it, whatever. You can shape up, perhaps (I would rather cheer you up, sitting with my friends and sharing our pizza or any other high-carb, high-fat junk food). But, that won't take you as far as your personality.
You can choose to be loyal. You can make sensible choices regarding financial matters. You can be patient and speak to your woman like Tisha's does to her. Et cetera. I think any improvements you make in this field will help you a lot more than any change of clothing, hair or shaping up. Particularly because they will help YOU make a better man out of yourself. The girls will come later. If they don't come, well, you will have gained a lot anyways.
Sometime in the future you will go bald (I won't, hahaha, as it's genetic and MY family doesn't have it), will have a belly (er) and will wear clothes already out of fashion. But if you're a good guy, that will help you keep your girl when you're no longer athletic.
Or not. But then you will find yourself someone else.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (16 July 2008):
Whoa, Birdy, I think you're talking about MY guy. I hope there is more than one man with these characteristics out there, otherwise, the man in question will be completely exhausted by trying to keep you AND me happy.
Okay, poster, let me tackle the three areas you set up.
Body. Hair. Clothes.
I am not trying to be mean here, I'm trying to get you to see things from a woman's perspective. Get on board the good ship chromosome double x.
Body. Well, a nice body is good, but a wee bit of extra poundage isn't going to put me off... A man who is extremely muscled up? Um, I would assume that he is very self-centered, right or wrong... An attractive man will make sure his body is clean and smells good.
Hair. The best thing is that he does the best he can with what he's been given. This does not mean that he can wrap 3 strands of hair from the back of his head over to his forehead. I think Patrick Stewart is one of the most attractive men around. Google him if you need to, but he was Captain Jean-Luc Picard on Star Trek. Again, the best thing about a man's hair is that he is comfortable with what he has and doesn't spend 3-5 hours trying to arrange it. Oh, and it would be a good idea to make sure that his hair smells clean.
Clothes. The best thing is to make sure that your clothes are clean and not too scruffy.
What attracted me to my guy. Great sense of humor. A balanced outlook on life, work vs. leisure time.
He can cook! Woo hoo, he's better at cooking than I am.
Sense of humor. Again, sorry, but this was very important to me.
Stability and a no-nonsense approach to life. A willingness to put up with me and my insecurities and my questions and my wacko self.
He's good at foot rubs and that kind of thing.
He respects his mother and treats her well.
He is happy in his own skin. He'll tell me when I'm full of c**p, but in such a loving and caring way, that I actually listen to him. He doesn't get this one right all the time, but he gets very high marks for being sensible and calm and caring. What more could a girl ask?
So to get back to your question. Body, hair, clothes. It would be best to make sure that they are all clean and smell great.
Then read Birdy's list, she took the words right out of my mouth...
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008):
Hello
1. your body
2. Your hair
3. your clothes
This is my serious answer, just be you, never change who or what you are, to try and please or impress others it is a false sense of security. If the women you get involved with do not like you... just move on. There will be one or two special lady's one day that you will meet and you will not have to impress. Your (own) character will shine and you will be loved for you.
...............................
A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (16 July 2008):
These are the things that attracted me to my guy:
1. A man with a Strong Sense of Loyalty.
2. A man that has a Dry, Witty Sense of Humour.
3. A man that has Sense of Confidence about himself.
4. A man who is strong and is proud of his athletic skills and abilities.
5. A man who dresses for himself and doesn't blindly follow the trends; but wears what suits him instead.
6. A man who is educated and loves to continue to learn.
7. A man who makes sensible choices when it comes to financial matters, while neither neglecting the future or ignoring the present.
8. A man who has infinite patience and knows when to simply say "Yes, Dear!"...
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008): Body, hair, and cloths have nothing to do with it for me...I love to laugh, and I mean LOVE to laugh. Someone who can be themselves, warts and all, but makes me laugh, that is the one for me (Which my husband is.) But by the same token, I want someone who loves me warts and all. Just aslong as you have a personality, then go for it. As for the women who have rejected you, that is THERE loss, not yours. Good Luck Sweet Pea!!
...............................
|
