A
male
age
30-35,
*thz
writes:Hi, I'm confused and I need some good advice from you people I will explain everything thing in a bit of detail so that I could get some good and satisfying help!I met this girl in an exam center through a mutual friend of mine.. She was my friend's friend but I didnt talk to her.. By chance we had the same class in the exam center and we stared smiled and tried to help each other in the exam.. After the exam was finished I asked her that how she did in the exam and she said, "I dont know" and her dad was waiting outside the center and she left.. We became friends on facebook the same day and then we talked and soon I took her number.. We talked and She was also kind of lonely. but she had a bf, we talked to each other a lot. Even now we talk to each other and we met many times and spent time with her it went good.. The relationship she had was going quite rough and I helped her by making her laugh and by caring for her.. She had been in a relation with him for around 5 years!Well that was a while ago.. Its been around two months now.. She kind of rarely talks of her bf! She says she doesn't want to be with him as they don't have any good future? So she talks to me much more than she talks to her bf! I have fallen in love with her..Her bf knows that she talks to me and he doesnt like it! Still she talks to me, meets me, hugs me, kisses me.. I can see that smile and happiness on her face when she sees me! I have also confessed my feelings.. She said that she couldn't love me because she loves her bf forever but she doesnt act good with her bf because she wants that he should start to hate her and they part away.. But its not happening;I dont understand whats on her mind... She says that shes with me always! She said to me once that being like this, kissing, hugging; though touching each other is not right because if her bf came to know about that he would get hurt I couldnt say anything I was speechless and I got upset and later on she said that "I know that you feel good when we do get close together and we won't stop..!" Is it that only I who feels good and complete when she's near me or does she also feel it but she's not tellin me?But is this right..? I really like her in fact I love her and I dont want to let her go.. Are there any chances that she'll be mine?? Does she have something for me in her heart? Is she using me or really does have feelings for me? I cant understand this; its very complicated for me I don't feel good when she talks to her bf .Recently her terms with her bf have been good I think so, but I just feel inside that shes showing off that things are alright... I dont know but I feel as if she wants to be with me but shows off that shes fine in her relation! :(P.S: Want to know anything more so that you could help me better please ask! This condition might be confusing for everyone.. Still I hope that I get a good remedy from herThanks for your help.
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male
reader, agentX +, writes (19 July 2012):
Dude, i am from India too and i had been in the same situation.
Trust me, if you let it go like this, you are going to get hurt real bad.
You seem to be a nice guy.
Understand that she is just using you as her emotional dumpyard. When she is upset, you comfort her.
And she is cheating on her current boyfriend and there is no guarantee that she is not going to cheat if at all you both start a relationship.
There are a lot of complications that may arise. As in my case everything was the same, except she began dating a completely different guy.
Dude, just ditch her, start dating other girls. Trust me, if you go on like this you are going to get screwed up.
Ditch her and find a girl who understands your love! Not the one who uses you.
A
male
reader, Athz +, writes (18 July 2012):
Athz is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you friends... Your helpful words relieved alot of pressure on me...
I wish that things go the right way!
I have decided to wait for some more time so that I can completely figure out everything & satisfy myself.. Once again, thank you everyone!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2012): Let this girl go.She is clearly in a relationship, could be facing problems but the fact is that she is attached.She could be making use of you to fill the gap that prolly her relationship with her bf has created. Girls always need emotional support and that is what you are giving her. There could be other reasons she was not talking to her boyfrend, now that she is and in good terms with her boyfriend, just let her be. It's not worth it getting attached to a girl that is in a relationship, you are only going to get yourself hurt more. Sooner or later she will start to avoid, better safe than sorry. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72  +, writes (18 July 2012):
 You are not ruining it...she is. Technically she is using you and like some others have said...it isn't fair. You can either go along with what she has been doing and continue to be unhappy or take a stand for yourself. I am sorry there is no easy way to do this or get through it.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (18 July 2012):
I recognize that she told you she could never leave her boyfriend, but if you are like me, you will try one more time. I know, sometimes it isn't the smart thing to do, but sometimes you need to prove to yourself that what you have heard is right. After that, I would not contact her. Do not answer texts, emails, or calls.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (18 July 2012):
I agree with all of the other great advice here. If she wanted to be with you, she would break up with her bf and be with you. Instead, she is playing on the emotions of both of you. You are probably the one who will have to give the ultimatum. It should go something like this: "I really like you a lot and enjoy spending time with you, but I would really like to be in an exclusive relationship, so if you are going to continue to see me and your bf at the same time, I am going to have to stop seeing you." Remember though...if you can't back this up with action, don't say it. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Athz +, writes (18 July 2012):
Athz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanx for all your help friends... I really dont know how to do this...! I feel myself stuck... I dont know how to confront her and ask her without ruining it!
What to do? :/
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A
female
reader, Angel S  +, writes (18 July 2012):
 Hi,
Well I do not think it is fair that she is showing affection and feelings towards you if she does not want to break up with her boyfriend.
She sounds like she isn't really that happy with her current boyfriend but might be scared to leave him as she doesn't want to hurt him? I don't know anything about their relationship so I am pressuming this.
You have told her how you feel and she has said that you can't be together because of her boyfriend so she has made her decision clear but if you feel that she might be just saying this then the only thig yu can do is confront her and ask her about it.
She really shouldn't bekissing other people when she has a boyfriend, tell her that you would like to be with her and she does not seem happy with her current boyfriend she what she says... if she sticks to her word saying she still wants to be with him then there isn't much you can do i'm afraid... you've made your feelings clear, its her decision to make now.
This is definately something you need to talk about with her. Good Luck!
Xo Xo
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (18 July 2012):
Relationships have been the same for 100 years, 200 years in the past and they will be the same in the future. I don't think much will ever change and your situation is actually common.
Let us look at the facts. She is still with her boyfriend. She is not with you. There is no promise of future with this girl. She is cheating on her boyfriend. Is this situation really so confusing? Or do you choose to tell yourself lies?
Ok so maybe you are still confused. Put yourself in her situation. Imagine you have a girlfriend and another girl. I would never want to be in that situation. It would be so hard to let go and I know one person's heart will be broken.
Or imagine you were the boyfriend. And your girlfriend was doing the things this girl is doing. How would you feel if you found out?
My friend, nothing in this situation is good or healthy. The fact is that you comfort her when you are with her. You already give her this strong comfort when you are not her boyfriend. She would never end with her real boyfriend. If she really loved you, she would left her boyfriend already and would be with you.
What to do? I would say find someone who will make you happy and be with you. You certainly do not sound happy now and unless she leaves her boyfriend to be with you, I dont think you will ever be.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2012): Hi, you need to let her go as she wants the best of both worlds. If she loves you and want to be with you she will end things with her boyfriend.
To be blunt she has problems being faithful to her boyfriend , so how can you trust she will be faithful to you. No excuses can justify the fact that she is strining you along - fully aware how you feel about her! Sorry ditch her and if she wants you she will be forced to let go the BF if not you are better off without her.
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