A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am 18 and i have never had a stable boyfriend. i am really nice and fairly pretty. Im a little over weight (170lbs) andd i feel like that holds me back a bit. I have had a lot of guys interested in me over the years but they are creepy and no one else wants to date them. I feel Luke a loser since i have never had a boyfriend. I have only had a handful of serious crushes and most of the time the guy played me. My question is what am i doing wrong and am i the only one who is 18 and never been kissed.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2013): Ok play it cool lose some weight maybe that will help o and be girly and make your self look really preety but don't go over -drive
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2013): That is just SO normal! seriously I know people who had their first kiss in their early 20's, so don't go feeling weird because you've never kissed anybodyI used to weight 172 lb when I was 14 years old or so then I lost weight and went to a 123 lb, Then boys started noticing me , I don't know if the weight thing was holding me back because I had no confidence and people didn't approach me because of that or if I simply became more attractive, anyway there are guys who don't want a fat girlfriend and that's the truth. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it for you, that doesn't mean you'll never find somebody who loves you, but yes appereance is very important, sad but true
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 February 2013):
 I see nobody has been brave enough to mention your weight , so.. I'll go first.
Dear OP, 170 pounds (or ,78 kg. ) is not a neglectable weight for a young woman. It all depends. If you are tallish, say at least 5'7, then yes, you are " a bit " overweight, nothing to write home about. But if you happen to be 5'4 , or 5'2, ... then you are not a bit overweight, you are from very overweight to downright obese.
That would inevitably restrict the number of men that may be attracted to you. Very unfair, even cruel, if you wish; a good heart , a nice personality SHOULD be enough to attract anybody, regardless of physical traits. Unluckily, life does not go by "shoulds ", - it is what it is, and what it is , it's that noticeably overweight people are often perceived as less attractive and desirable than regular sized people.
So yes, it is quite possible that what is holding you back is the weight, - unless you exude such a self confidence, a charm, a sex-appeal, etc.. that would make your current physical shape irrelevant - but that it is rare to find already blossomed in young girls of 18 .
I know that some people would say " if someone loves you, he loves you just the way you are, not for your outside ". I won't deny that, but... we aren't talking about forever love and finding your soulmate yet, right ? we are talking about getting a few first dates, exchanging a few first kisses ... I don't think it's politically incorrect to advise you to try and enlarge your consensus base, the number of your potential admirers, by changing a bit the way you look and getting your weight to average/normal. That would turn to your advantage regardless, because of the benefit for your health, and would give a big boost to your confidence, and, as we all know, confidence is the best aphrodisiac there's around.
Said that, though, ... hey you are only eighteen ! It is not so terrible nor so unusual to have never been kissed at 18,- you still have plenty , plenty of time before you need to worry !
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A
male
reader, Silius Sodimus  +, writes (12 February 2013):
Man I know people who didn't have sex until 27. And there was nothing wrong with them physically or mentally. I also know plenty women who had to have at least 3-4 bf's before they found someone stable. It's more just statistics and dumb luck than anything else. Someone might find the perfect partner straight up, some may take longer, but it has nothing to do with ther person themselves.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (12 February 2013):
You're still very young so I wouldn't say there has to be anything wrong with you. If a few years have passed and still nothing then maybe you're being too picky.
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A
female
reader, ihavetoomanythoughts +, writes (12 February 2013):
 It's OK to be 18 and not have had your first kiss yet. Don't worry about this OP, you're still young and you've got plenty of time. I know many people who are older than you and have never had a partner or been kissed before so your situation isn't an anomaly ;) Just take your time and make sure you only kiss someone you want to kiss! In the meantime, why not go out and do some activities that interest you? You might find some nice guy there who shares your interests :) Good luck!
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