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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. He's 25, just graduated from college, and I'm 22, still in college. Most of our relationship he hasn't had a job. He lives off of his savings. He just lays around and goes fishing all the time. He doesn't seem motivated at all to work! This worries me, because we've talked about our future and getting married. However, he hasn't even shown me that he's driven and will be able to support a family! He's now planning on selling most of his things and going traveling on his own to "find himself." It seems he's at a crossroads in his life. I love him, but I'm not sure what to do! Please respond if you have any similar stories, comments or advice. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, mommyofthree +, writes (5 December 2005):
 You sound like you have direction in your life, you know where you want to go and unfortunately he sounds like he is just going drag you down as you try to get there. You are both young and he may at some point decide to grow up and get a job, it is up to you whether or not you feel like waiting around to see if that day will ever come.
A
female
reader, amiee  +, writes (5 December 2005):
 hey, it seems to me you yourself are doubting your relationship. you need to ask yourself is this how i want it to be dont just think about him and his needs think of your own. i know its hard but also maybe you should consider sitting down with him one calm evening and asking him where you stand and what he wants and compare it with what you want. the outcome could be good or bad theres no tellin exactly what will come of it but what happens is meant to happen. and when you get it sorted out i garentee that you will be happy. even the deepest scares can and will heal and also maybe you need to find out why as well as what. just remember you are strong and can make it and will. everything will become a lot better then they are now at the present. good luck amiee xXx
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A
female
reader, BrunetteAce +, writes (5 December 2005):
Are you really sure this guy is in love with you? If not then i think this is the problem.... he is looking for a little bit of space so he can enjoy life before he feels like he is "tied down" with a family.If you know he loves you then i would just give him a little time to realise what he wants. You are both quite young and marriage isn't the only thing in life - Have a bit of fun, (with or without his money )
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A
female
reader, beenthere +, writes (5 December 2005):
hi. it seems he's not really mature enough to make such decisions as getting married. i'm still waiting for my 30 year old fiancee to grow up and we've got 2 kids. however, you say he lives off savings. where did these savings come from? did he make the money from working or from gifts, etc. either way, he must be good with money. saying that, if he's always had money just given to him, he might not even understand about working for it. let him go on his travels. see what happens when and if he returns. it may just give him the chance to be sure he wants to settle down and will have no regrets later on. i can honestly say that i would really have liked to have done so much with my life but i had my first child at 19 then as soon as he was at school and i tried to get my own life back, i had another baby. so i'd recommend to anyone to live first before making those sorts of commitment
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