A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend wants to have a threesome with another girl.The thing is we have already done this once .I like girls too but i hated seeing him penetrate this other woman. He says if I dont want to , theres no fun in it for him, but I worry he isnt truly satisfied with me.For most guys this is a fantasy. But we have already played it out, and if he wants it again does that mean I will forever be sharing my bed with other girls?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): Just say no, you did it once as a one off, and you're not up for it again.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): "i hated seeing him penetrate this other woman" Tell him this then say "no thank you honey"
That's it, he said he won't if you don't want to and you clearly don't want to so just say no. End of story. Don't even consider it. The other Aunts Uncles have told you why not.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 Its possible to have loads of fun with a threesome without the guy penetrating the other woman. It's not like YOU get to penetrate the other woman, so you would both have an equal amount of fun. He sounds like he cares tons more about his own pleasure than yours though, which means he is selfish in bed and not a good lover. An unselfish lover would gladly give up penetration for YOUR benefit, and would only want a threesome if it gave YOU pleasure. Partners who care about the pleasure of the other above their own have better sex.
Don't agree to more threesomes. You are in a relationship the both of you, and if you don't want to have threesomes you can't be forced. If you would like another threesome, but without the penetration, he needs to be willing to play the game your way. After all you are meeting him more than halfway in fulfilling HIS fantasy. The least he could do is try to accompany you.
How long have you been together, and how is the rest of your sexlife? I have a feeling you are going to have to put up with his selfishness throughout your relationship, unfortunately.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): Once you agree to this in a relationship, it removes the real emotional intimacy, the relationship becomes open, it becomes casual, regardless of what you think, or how you want to paint it, it erodes a really close relationship, where it hardly ever is the same again. It also means you've told your guy, he can have sex with another woman, not only that, but you've agreed to be there and watch..Mmmmm..this opens up a huge can of worms, as you have no argument for really saying no again, he's tasted the the other side of HIS fantasy, you went with it - so you now have a problem.
A real problem, if you say no, you don't want to do it again, and he's not happy with that, which obviously he won't be, otherwise he wouldn't want to be doing again, and he ends up having sex with someone else, YOU don't have a leg to stand on to complain. One is either in a relationship where it's ONLY sex between the couple, or it's a casual open relationship where threesomes take place.
I suspect if you were to suggest a threesome with another MALE, not a female, he would say no - it's a good test to see if the guy is hooked on threesomes, and doesn't mind you being penetrated whilst he watches, or whether he just wants sex with other women.
Either way you've broken the bond of one-to-one sex, and to add to the fall-out from this, rarely does the man EVER commit or have a long term relationship with a woman who has agreed to this - he tends to lose respect, regardless of how much he asked for it, I'm afraid that is human beings for you. So hopefully you might consider all this, and next time NEVER agree to this.
Lastly any man or woman who really loves their partner, and wants commitment, isn't just in it for FUN, will NOT want a threesome, sorry, NOT all men want a threesome, not at all!
You might find this interesting: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/threesomes-good-or-bad-idea.html
Lots of replies from men on the subject,the Majority are against it!
Try talking to your boyfriend about it, easy to say I know, but if you don't want to do this, are not having the fun he is, or you don't want to share your bed or his body, then DON'T..STOP!
Jilly
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A
female
reader, Enzian  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 I think if you say yes a second time, that means you will probably forever be sharing your bed with other girls!
In your position, I would say no! If he is not satisfied with you, he should have a threesome with others, but you would leave him.
Or you ask him for a threesome with an other man??? How would he think about that? Would he like to see an other man penetrate in you? Well, I would never do it!!! And I would leave a man, if he only would tell me he would like to have a threesome. He either is satisfied with me or he will be single again and as a single man he can do what he likes.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (17 November 2010):
You've opened up the door that should have been left closed. He did it once, and that should have been enough. Now he's wanting it more. This will continue if you allow it. Stop the threesomes now and work on the fundamentals of the relationship.
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A
female
reader, Napalm_Angelripper +, writes (17 November 2010):
 If you were uncomfortable with the idea the first time, you shouldn't have gone along with it. And he should've respected that.
I know you were just trying to please him, and it's considerate of you to have done so ... but now he's going to expect this more often, as he doesn't realize it's a problem with you. It's harsh for him to say there's no fun for him in it if you aren't going to be in a threesome ... but you have to tell him that it hurts your and makes you uncomfortable and you don't want to do it anymore ... if he understands and accepts it, he loves you. If he doesn't, then he just never cared at all (and is an a**hole, mind you).
If he does understand and accept it, then try and find other ways to spice up your sex life.
Good luck, honey 3
-The Resident Metalhead
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