| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: i've been dating my boyfriend for two years now and we are planning our wedding mid-february.We are in our early twenties and have great careers.I love him with all my heart but because i'm still a virgin(he is not), he doesnt like me coming over to his house except there is someone there. I know i wanted us to wait till we get married but i was hoping we could now spend time alone since the wedding date is already fixed. He takes me out to dinner, movies and is very sweet but unless he has his sister around or friend in his apartment he doesnt want me alone with him. I have tried talking to him about this and he says he cant gaurantee refraining from sex if he is alone with me and i should be patient. He said setting the wedding date has made him even more excited to having me and he wont be able to help himself.I think this is just an excuse and he is punishing me for ruling out sex. Now i cant even talk to him except on the phone or the theatre/movies with people.What do i do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Juliette  +, writes (7 December 2006):
 I think it is great. I wish I had his dedication. The tension must be unbearable but well worth it even if it is ultimately disappointing as his frustration may not make it to desired end point. Having said that, it is just good old fashioned magic that love and understanding should overcome with a sense of humour (be it necesary), and good luck to you both.
A
female
reader, Anjel735 +, writes (7 December 2006):
You have already gone all this time refraining from sex. What is another couple of months? The idea that it may be a form of punishment is almost a little absurd, considering that you two have not been doing for at least two years already.
It probably meant alot to you to stay a virgin for so long, maybe some moral or religious need not engage in sex. As a matter of fact, keeping your virginity in tact may be a sign of utmost respect and love for you and your body. Be patient and just tough it out . . . you may not regret losing your virginity to him, but you will appreciate him and yourself more for keeping it until the day you marry. How many people do that? You are a rare and beautiful breed.
Goodluck!
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