A
female
age
26-29,
*arah29x
writes:hello, this is a pretty long question but it would be great if i could have your honest opinions, i'm 14 and i've been with my boyfriend who is also 14 for about ten months. we're very close and he's like my best friend as well as my boyfriend he is in my year so i see him a lot and he doesn't live to far away so i see him outside of school alot too. we talk about everything and we're not shy of each other and are very honest with each other. we've done other sexual things just not sex but we've both seen each other complete naked and even though you get a little self conscious we both feel completely comfortable.this brings me to my questions,i feel i'm ready for sex and know the consequences (sti's and pregnancy) we've spoken about it alot for months and we both think we're ready we have condoms and understand and know fully of the risks. we're both very secretive and don't say much about our relationship to the outside world we keep ourselves to ourselves and want to have sex because we love each other.I was just wondering if you think we sound ready for this kind of relationship?another thing was that apparently it's okay if you have sex as long as your in love and people might consider 14 to be too young to be in love but from the sound of what i've written does it sound like i'm in love with him enough to have sex with him. i think i love him but please give your opinions they will be much appreciated thank you x
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female
reader, BeckieYMA6 +, writes (11 April 2011):
 I made the mistake of having sex too young.
You think you're so ready, and that's it's deffinately the right thing to do. You're so sure as well.
And now i regret it.
I loved him with all my heart at the time.
And now i feel ashamed, it wasn't legal, and i may have been in a relationship for 10 months (like you) But i deffinately wasn't ready for that MASSIVE step.
and i was an early bloomer as well.
Just wait, you never want to regret your first time, it's awful when you get older :'(
A
female
reader, anewstart2011  +, writes (11 April 2011):
 hi,i wont answer this as a mother, i will answer this as a woman that had her first experience at this age, you want honest, i will be very honest, yes you are very young you two should wait, if this is real love you will wait to have the understanding on what is going on in your body, you want to explore the feelings, sex is not a game, you should talk about this to an adult that can guide you and explain whats going on, its not hard or complicated, but if you start having sex at this early age you will find that you will loose the freedom of being a teenager, enjoy your life without the responsibilities of being sexually active, i choose to be sexually active at 14 and got pregnant at 18, my life has been hard and difficult and i always thought that i should had waited, i hope you can talk to an adult..
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A
male
reader, radhey  +, writes (11 April 2011):
I have read almost all the answers and want to keep my answer very simple
can you tell your mother that you had sex with him.
if yes than go ahead without any guilty feeling.
If you cant than understand that it is wrong.
you must understand that you love the boy and he is going to stay with you for ever than you may not hurry in what the law and your mother think in wrong
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2011): ok first thing i want to say is to the other writers bribri and nesty, if you are interested in being supportive of this young lady then say your opinions in a respectible supportive way. but to you sarah, im quite impressed with your maturity at such a young age to ask for advice from those more expirence than you so you may have the most information to make a responsible decision. but to the point, im glad you are in love its an amazing feeling isnt it? its wonderful to be accepted and loveed physically[naked or clothed =] and emotionally. i have been standing right where you are, in love and thinking i knew how real it is. now im only 21 and i still have an incredible amout to learn but i can tell you that in the next few years you will change so much that you wont even reconize yourself. sex and love are important but dont lose sight of what they stand for, commitment and trust and honesty. its easy to have these right now because many of life greatest challenges and frustrations dont apply to you yet and you dont know how you or he will grow to adapt to them and handle them. in short you dont kow who he is because he doesnt know who he is beacuse he hasnt grown into himself yet. i first had sex when i was 17 and i married that girl 2 years later after being together 4 years i though that we were more in love then anyone and could withstand anythin, but when i went into boot camp she didnt realize she wasnt ready to handle all of the pressure and responsiblities of loving someone till it was something she had to deal with in reality. as a result she went out and partied and got drunk alot and slept with alot of other people. now that might be how it turns out for you but its really not worth even having it as a possiblity, trust me. because now even tho i have divorced and moved on, its still embarrsing to know i made that mistake. and it makes it hard on the next relatonship you have[but you may be one of those lucky ones who make it=] but still trust me if you love feeling this in love keep your virginity it keeps it that amazing. also if you do have sex those sexual urges get ALOT worse and make it very hard to concentrait on anything else. if you do have sex please be carful as it is your choice to make but just keep in mind that there are alot alot alot more to the risks then stds and becoming pregnent.hope I didnt waste your time =]
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (11 April 2011):
Waiting is a very good idea, you know. Because most of people think sex is a big issue. I mean, something not to be taken lightly. And being 14 you don't even know if sex is something you will be able to take lightly. So having sex too soon could lead you to regret it tomorrow. And once done, your virginity won't come back. You can read over the net people wishing they wouldn't have lost their virginity that soon. I'm not telling you to wait until 25, but I would recommend you to wait until 17 at least.
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female
reader, nester  +, writes (10 April 2011):
No you are not ready for sex at all. so don,t even think about it because first of all you are only 14 and anything can happen you may think you know everything but you don,t.just think about what if you got pregnant by this guy and you tell him he would shit himself because that would mean he would have to grow up and take care of you and the kid trust me I,m 31yrs old and have a son who,s dad is in jail and before that he still would not help pay child support. take your and really think about what i said.
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A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (10 April 2011):
 Do you masturbate? That usually helps relieve sexual tension.
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A
female
reader, BriBri +, writes (10 April 2011):
NO.Are you crazy? That is stupid girl get our headd together. If he isn't willing to wait then he isn't worth it.:(
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A
female
reader, sarah29x +, writes (10 April 2011):
sarah29x is verified as being by the original poster of the questionheyyy thanks people for your honest opinions i think i'm gonna be mentally mature here and say i'll wait for a year or 2, your comments have really helped me weigh out my options and what i need to think about. only thing i'm worried about are the urges i get to have sex, i wish they would go away but they don't. ways to help this and advice would be very appreciated and more opinions about my original question will be great to. thanks again xx
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A
male
reader, Capri2 +, writes (10 April 2011):
In your country you have to be 16 or over to have sex. Even if your partner is your same age, it is not legal. Since there is a reason for that, maybe you would like to wait until 16 and think about this again then.
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (10 April 2011):
 No.If you were, you wouldn't be asking.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): I agree with both previous answers. But I would also like to add more. What do you think sex really is? Seriously. At your age, neither of you are mature enough to handle the the responsibility of sex. Are you ready to be parents if something happens and you end up pregnant? You see sex is not just about love and intimacy, it is also about reproduction. Too many kids forget that most important part of sex and you really need to think about that. If you are not able to raise a child (not have mom do it) I don't care if your 14, 16, or even 18 then you need to wait. Children, such as yourself and your boyfriend, can be the most wonderful thing to ever happen to you, but they alter your life forever. Look at your parents, look at what it takes, really takes to raise a family. Please don't do it yet. Heck at your age, you two may break up at anytime, you never know. You may stay together and get married years from now, but I don't believe you are ready for the responsibility of sex. I hope this helps. Sorry so long. And in case you are wondering, no I've never had a baby, nor been pregnant and I am 45. I wish you the best.
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female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (10 April 2011):
 The fact your even asking leads me to think that in all honesty your not ready. If you want my advice save it till your older being together for 10 months really is not long enough to get into this type of relationship, wait till your a bit older trust me you wont regret it. whats the big hurry to be an adult just enjoy each other with out the responsibility and complications of sex getting in the way.
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A
male
reader, Hugh.J +, writes (10 April 2011):
 You need to be reminded that having sex at your ages is illegal for BOTH of you and could easily result in a custodial sentence and being put on the Sex Offenders' Register, at least for him.It's illegal for a good reason; neither of you is ready for sex and he would be guilty of statutory rape because the law doesn't consider you competent to give consent to sex.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): You've asked your question. Now let me ask you some questions.Do you understand that love does not equal sex and that sex does not equal love? Do you think everyone else is doing it? Do you know how different contraceptions work (all of them) and would you be willing to sit and discuss your options of them maturely with a nurse or doctor? Does it go against any of your beliefs or morals?Do you think it will make your boyfriend love you, or vice versa?Do you expect it to be perfect first time?Would you be horrified if your parents found out?Do you hope no-one hears about it?Do you know the symptoms and long term effects of STI's, and do you know what to do if you got one?Could you go tell the doctor or nurse that you have an STI?Could you go tell the doctor or nurse that you're pregnant?Could you tell your boyfriend you're pregnant?Could you tell your parents that you're pregnant?Could you go through abortion proceedings?Could you support a baby?Would your boyfriend stand by you if a baby was conceived?Is this the person you truly believe you will be in a relationship with for the rest of your life?If not, do you really want to explain to your next boyfriend that you lost your virginity at just 14?Do you think it's not okay to be a virgin?After answering these, do the pros outweigh the cons? Think about it. These are all very real, very serious questions to ask yourself. These things happen to a lot of people. 'It won't happen to me' is exactly what all the people who it actually happened to thought. The fact that you felt it necessary to ask the question on here makes me believe that you're having your doubts.
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female
reader, Ima FreAk! +, writes (10 April 2011):
 Hiyaaaaa,The consent for sex is 16 so your technically not old enough.Having sex is a major thing and I'm proud that you know the risk but your just not old enough and in school teachers and those sex educators people come in and say 16 is the age of consent.Honestly just wait till your older until the consent obviously but remember that sex is not the only thing to show your love. I strongly recommended you just to save it till your older because it's not worth it and if you think about it you only got 2 years left loooooool. Hope my advice helps!Good luck!Ima FreAk!x
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female
reader, crazystraw44 +, writes (10 April 2011):
I honestly believe that fourteen is too young to have sex, feelings get mixed, people get hurt. I think the cons outweigh the pros in your situation.But I'm no going to judge you and be hypocritical, because I go to school with girls who lost their virginity at an even younger age, and while I still don't approve, I can't say they're suffering the consequences from it.So, if you both truly love eachother, and are prepared and willing to accept the potential consequences, then I don't have a valid reason to tell you not to because I don't know you well enough to give you any more advice.Well wishesx
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female
reader, DanceInTheDark +, writes (10 April 2011):
You have to realize, theres a HUGE emotional aspect to sex, and most 14 year olds can't handle that. Trust me, you may feel ready, but most girls your age who do it regret it. I was 15 when I lost it, I loved him, he loved me, we knew the consequences. and I still regret it.It's not going to be something magical and special that you see in the movies, chances are he's going to blow after 30 seconds that will be it. Have you thought about what you'll do if you get pregnant? Are you going to keep it? Are you sure he won't run off? Would you get an abortion? I doubt at 14 you could handle getting an abortion, Most women feel depressed after, it seriously messes up your hormones. Most women don't regret getting one, but at your age, I think it could do serious things to you emotionally. Your body may be ready, but are you emotionally? I very much doubt it, most people aren't really ready emotionally until they're adults.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): Wait till at least your 15. When your an adult and people will ask when you lost your v card, saying 14 is not good and people will look down on you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): I think you should definitely wait a little longer. The pair of you do sound sensible I must say, but honestly, 14 is still very young and as much as you may think you're ready for sex, you're still not physically, and probably not mentally. You will probably regret it when you're older.I think you should at least wait until you're 15. I've heard of too many people who started having sex at your age and younger and really regretted it. You're still very young, so enjoy being young whilst you still can! Stick to what you're already doing for now and it'll all be worth it in the end, you'll see.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): No, you're not ready, you are both young teenagers, wait until you are adults.
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