| A
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have noticed a pattern in my boyfriend's behavior, and I've found out that he is very spoiled. He has no respect for conserving money, and his parents encourage it.For instance, when we are at my house, my air conditioner is set to auto, meaning it turns off every 10 minutes or so. My parents set it to auto to conserve money. At his house, the air conditioner runs at 65 for the entire day. So when he is at my house and mine turns off, he starts whining about how hot he is, and even starts sweating...he then proceeds to call my family cheap. His parents also encourage leaving the lights on the entire night/day, whereas my father encourages us to save electricty. My boyfriend also mocks this, calling us "Jews." I got a paycheck for 400 dollars, because I work. He has about 1500 saved up (we're 19), and he made me buy him stuff for his shower because he told me he was "running out of money..." even though he gets money from college and I EARN mine...it irritated me but I couldn't say no because he buys me stuff too. As soon as I got my paycheck, he begged me to pay for our date..even though he has about 4 times the amount of money I do...? I did it again because I didn't wanna be cheap. My parents care what I spend money on and encourage me to save it, but he says "what's the point of money if you don't spend it??"He is allowed to sleep in until 3 PM if he wishes, his parents do the same. They're in bed until 4 PM sometimes and go to sleep in the AM...I find it a bit ridiculous. When we go on trips, his parents are always LATE because they wake up past 12, whereas my parents kick my butt if I sleep past 10...Therefore, when I'm over, and I ask him to wake up at 11, he complains that I didn't let him sleep in. It just bothers me.There are a lot of vegetables in my refrigerator, and almost no meat/refined carbs, so he makes fun of that too...In conclusion, he is a momma's boy. A very big one. This is, of course, a little flaw in my opinion, but something that has been bothering me because while he's allowed to be a mommma's boy, he criticizes how MY parents raise me and how MY parents like to be "cheap"...My parents are religious, to respect them I go to church with them even if I don't want to. I invited my boyfriend to church and all he did was make fun of the priest and the people that were singing. Making people laugh is what drives his ego, so he thought it was okay to mock the father. I thought it was completely disrespectful but didn't say anything.Judging from his behavior, what can I do to get used to it? We have been together for over a year. He's an overall good guy, just very spoiled. I realize people are just raised in a certain way and it can't be changed.
View related questions:
cheap, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies  +, writes (10 April 2011):
 ur such a nice girl. in fact, TOO NICE.
u guys have different values. it cant work.
ur boyfriend will not start appreciating money unless he has zero for a year.
and i dont care what he does but i do care that he critisizes u. thats totally unnacceptable.
do urself a favor and give him an ultimatum.
He will change or ITS OVER.
Also,he should never make u pay for ur date. what kind of a gentleman is he? shame on him. guys that are POOR treat girls better than he does.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): I don't think you should put up with bad behaviour just because his parents encourage it. Imagine you stay with this guy and decide to marry him, still 'getting used to' his behaviour. What are you going to do when you have children and he encourages them to sleep in, spend all your money and laugh at inappropriate circumstances?? Will you just 'get used' to that too??Relationships have to be built on common ground and values. If you want a future with this guy, you have to stand your ground. You really have to explain what DECENT COURTEOUSY is and how if he is in your house or with your family he has to behave accordingly, just as you would with his. It isn't fair to expect everything to be your way just because you are rich. Explain to him how hard it is to earn your money - ask him how he would feel WORKING for x amount for each hour, and draw out on paper how many hours you work. Let him see it infront of him.Of course if you only see this as a short term relationship, does it really matter? Why get used to something you don't expect to have around for very long?Please stand up for yourself - you will be doing him a favour by teaching him the social courtesies and value of money that his parents did not. If he is a decent guy, don't you want everyone to know that? As it is, I can't imagine with his behaviours that EVERYONE thinks so - from your account, he seems like a spoilt, arrogant pig. If you do want to be with this guy for a long time, or even for the long haul, you are going to find the things that annoy you now don't go away - they get worse. Do you really want to just 'get used' to that?
...............................
A
female
reader, Luv_doc  +, writes (10 April 2011):
Sorry, but why are you with thi guy? He clearly had no respect for you or your parents. I'm sure that whilst you don't necessarily agree with how he has been raised you aren't rude and inappropriate about it. You deserve a guy that respects and appreciates the good job your parents have done raising you. Frankly it is because of people like your boyfriends family who spend money willy-nilly and waste resources without regard for the consequences that we have problems like global warming and deforestation. LD x x x
...............................
|
