A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I'm a female that's just beginning to explore my bicurious side. I'm very excited about it because I've always loved women! A couple of weeks ago I met a lovely girl at a bar and we ended up making out for the night, I had such a blast. We exchanged numbers and have been texting ever since, and now we're going to meet on Valentines Day! I'm so happy to finally have a Valentine, I've always been single on V-Day. The thing is...This will be our first official date since that night and since we both had been kind of tipsy when we first met I hope that she didn't have "beer goggles" and have higher expectations than what I really am if you know what I mean. Like we've been texting for weeks now and what if she forgot what I look like and has built up this really attractive person in her mind? I think sometimes alcohol can blur your perception of people, and I just hope she's not disappointed when she sees me again! I'm nervous and really want to impress her, so what do you think I should wear/where should I take her/any advice would be great!
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (20 January 2011):
Hi. You are very welcome. It's hard to know whether an age gap will be an issue.
Just take it slowly, and see how it goes when you see her again.
Keep it light and friendly and just have fun.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Also, don't chicken out either. You do have to do this.
To give it a proper chance on the night, don't drink too much, and don't have a drink before you leave home to give you dutch courage. Just relax, take a few slow deep breaths and be yourself. Perhaps don't drink any alcohol on the night at all, or at least limit what you do drink.
You want to keep all your wits about you when you are talking to her, so that this time you do remember it very clearly, the next day. You don't want your true personality to be compromised by the influence of alcohol. It would definitely spoil things, for sure. Remember, you are now about to create a positive, lasting impression, so it's really important that you do it right - from the beginning. Give it every chance to flourish and grow.
It would be nice to go away after the date with some really nice happy memories.
If it goes well, it could become a regular event - seeing each, I mean. You just never know.
Just go out on that date, with a completely open mind to whatever happens and with not too many expectations. For instance, try not to think too far into the future, and where it's going to go, down the track. Just live completely in the present moment as much as you can. You will then enjoy it much more.
Don't even worry about age difference, it's not really a big deal. What's more important than that, is how much you find that you have in common with each other, and how well you get along generally. Also, how easy it is to just talk about anything and everything - comfortably. In other words, no awkward silences and not running out of things to talk about. You know what I mean, I think.
I hope that it goes really well for you both, and that you have a lovely time.
Take care and best wishes.
A
female
reader, Drat001 +, writes (20 January 2011):
The thing about age differences is, it only matters if you don't have common interests. If you like the same things that she does, then there's no reason other than a manufactured sociatal taboo that an age difference should matter.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much for answering! The only reason we haven't seen each other is because I'm a student and she's busy working (yes, there's a LARGE age difference which maybe I should have mentioned...and may end up being a huge problem). I have a feeling this just isn't going to work because of our age difference, but I'm still curious in seeing her again. I was very dolled up when I saw her and will probably get a bit dressed up again this time since we'll probably go someplace trendy. Thanks for the advice ladies, I really appreciate it. :)
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (19 January 2011):
Hi there. Just wear whatever you want to wear - according to what you are doing and where you are going.
Don't overdress if you are going somewhere you would normally dress casual for. That would be false. She would see through that. It would appear unnatural.
Just be yourself, don't pretend. Don't spend the whole night trying to make her laugh all the time. She would probably get tired of that. You would be trying too hard to please, which she will also see through. It could make you look needy and desperate - not very attractive.
Because you were a bit drunk on the night you met, you will virtually have to start from scratch in getting to know her. Because there's a chance that all you remember of the night, is that you made out at the end of it!
So really, apart from the regular texting, you have to virtually start as if you just met - the next time you see her.
So wherever you both decide to go, just enjoy yourselves and get to know what makes each other tick. Don't just talk about the lovemaking session you had, because there has to be more to a relationship than that. Sex soon wears very thin indeed, if there is nothing else good about the association between you. You do need to be aware of that. A relationship cannot survive on good lovemaking alone.
She probably does vaguely remember what you look like, and she is getting to know you a bit from your texting, so it's not completely starting from the beginning. You just will have to get to properly know each other once you do see each other again.
Why is it that you haven't actually got together all this time? Are you living in the same city?
Really, the sooner you do get to see each other, the better. Until you do, you are not going to know whether it has a future.
Once you go out on the date, and if that date goes really well, you are going to have to start seeing each at least once a week, to really build a relationship. Texting won't suffice for a proper relationship. It comes a very poor second.
Once you are seeing each other regularly, then an occasional text message between seeing each other is ok, and maybe one phone call a week - not every single day. Otherwise, too many phone calls will exhaust itself. Then you will fight all the time.
For it to survive, you really do need to be seeing each other regularly. Not just texting. It won't survive otherwise.
Good luck and don't forget to have fun! Just enjoy each other's company.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (18 January 2011):
 hi
were you really SO drunk that night?? why not send her a picture message, just casually like 'here's a picture of me with my dog/cat isn't he cute?' (if you have got a pet) or find some other excuse to send her a photo, like 'hey i've bought this new top but i'm not sure if it suits me, what do you think?' something like that. then at least if she really finds you unattractive she has got chance to back out of the date. if she still wants to meet you after seeing a photo of you, great!
really pamper yourself and look as good as you can, give yourself plenty of time to get ready, wear something similar to what you wore when you met her, if that's appropriate for where you will be going on the date
xx
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