A
female
age
36-40,
*rokenhearted67
writes:I have been having an affair now for about 3 months and it all started at work. Him and i were instantly attracted to one another. I started to come up to work more often to see him and spend time with him. Well it all started one night when he invited me out to his house. I went out there and his wife was there and i met her and well i didn't like her at all which was just about how much she liked me. Anyway him and i would sneek around and go to places at random in the middle of the night just so we could sneek away, he would come over on his lunch break and finally he left her and moved in with me for about a month while my husband was still out to sea. We were falling madly in love with one another and this all went on for about 3 months. One day all of the sudden without any explaination he just decided to go back to her. Now we had both had a plan and that was to both leave our spouse and be with each other. Now i still feel this way about him and he said that he is going to give her another chance but he still loves me and if things don't work out like he wants with her then he would love to be with me. He still tells me that he loves me and has feelings for me even though he is trying to make is work "not if i have anything to do with it" i will do just about anything in my power to keep him away from her i mean we still have the agreement to have casual sex all the time! So as of right the moment i am unhappy with my husband and in love with another man that i want to give up everything for.just to be with including his son that has stolen my heart. Please help i am in a bind and don't know what to do!
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We were going to leave our spouses and start a life together but he's gone back to his wife! Do I get back together with him? Re-married but want to be back together without hurting our spouses. Should I get back together with my wife or move on? Is loving him enough to get back together, or should I just leave it this time? He's threatening to leave. What can I do? We have a child together but he doesn't want to leave his wife, how do I cope with this? |
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008): Well, I do know you need to leave your husband. For his sake not necessarily as you need him as a back up plan. The thing is you have not only admitted that you are cheating on your husband but also that you are in love with someone else. SO HUBBIE HAS TO GO!Now, this married man who has gone back to his wife, it was nice that he decided to give her another chance. Heaven forbid if it was his wife giving him another chance!He wants that chance, decided he did not want to continue his agreement with you in relation to leaving your spouces, so he has already left you, sorry, but he does not want to have a life with you, he really just wants to have you as his mistress, on the side. So in other words, your a fuck.What are you going to do to stop his marriage working out? Tell his wife that he is still cheating on her, so she kicks him out? But will he then decide that you are the one? Think not. He will probably just find someone else, and you still won't score him! To be honest, leave him alone is obvious to any decent person. But start thinking about what type of person, decent man, who knows what your like is actually going to be winning a prize when they commit to you. If you happy being sex on the side, think that's what your worth, then bugger it all up for everyone. Or you could be mature, responsible and realise that the man who only took three months to have you ruining your life, then dumps you but still want sex, is using you and will not want you as a permanent fixture. Who would!Good luck with your decisions, now. You have made poor ones in the past, but now you have a choice.
A
female
reader, Ileana  +, writes (6 February 2008):
 1) Are you selfish? 2) Do you love this man?If you answered no to the first and yes to the second you would know you have to let this man try again with his marriage. Let him be happy. You too have a spouse, and you too can try to be happy. There isnt just one person out there for everyone. Nor is there just 2. So let him be with his wife and go find yourself another fish. This time be careful he hasnt got a back up for when things get tough. FInd yourself a loving caring man.Hes cheating on his wife, what makes you think he wouldnt do it to you?Do you want to be called a homewrecker?Iileyanax
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008): Enjoy the Sex, who needs to get a grip? GOOD ADVICE THERE Mr. BADVOICE... Stay away from him, I can't believe you are actually admitting that this man has left you to go back to his wife even after the fact of screwing you, he did what he did you were not as good as the wife, now he wants her back he realized she is the one for him so Lay off!And I hope you are not stupid that you will actually have casual sex after this, he must really think of you as a fool no wonder he doesn't want you....GOOD LUCK (you really need it)Get some Counselling PLZZZZZZ!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008): You want to break up a marriage over A 3 MONTH AFFAIR. You sound very selfish, naive and unreasonable. Just because you are not happy in your marriage and JEALOUS (You havent states any reason as to why you do not like her) of the wife you will do everything in your power to break up their marriage. How selfish are you? You say you have come to adore his son. Do you think he will think much of you when you cause his mother so much pain. I am not saying its all your fault but you are a big part of the love triangle but dont seem to understand this.
Get a grip of yourself...you sound like you have big issues. You say he left his wife to be with you and then returned...How do you know? He could have been leaving a double life and his wife may be oblivious to all of this. All I am saying is that he may never have left her.
He is using you for sex and as a back up. What he means when he says if it doesnt work out with her he will come back to you probally means: If he gets CAUGHT you will be his second option. Why would you want to be second best. You will always be second best as the fact remains that he chose her over you.
Smell the coffee and back off!!!!!
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (6 February 2008):
 One of the risks of having an affair, is that you get hurt. Someone always does, its enevitable. He has gone back probably out of guilt, but you have to stand back and let him get on with it.
Your not being fair to his child by threatening to cause trouble for them. If it doesnt work out for him, you dont have to be there, arms outstretched do you?. Is there no chance that you can mend things with your other half.
Even if he goes back, his wife will never be able to trust him, and that will probably cause arguments. But do you really want to be at the centre of all that trouble.
I know that it will be the hardest thing in the world for you to do right now, but let him go... Dont have any contact, it will only upset you anyway. "If its meant to be, its meant to be".
take care X
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A
male
reader, BadVoice +, writes (6 February 2008):
What you need to do is get a grip on yourself! You're currently living in a fantasy world of lust and lies. I would love to tell you that everything would be alright and that I wish you luck, but it isn't going to happen. You are going to cause a lot of pain to your husband, your friends and to both your familes....yours and your husband.
Right now......enjoy the sex (he is) and get a grip on your life and prepare yourself for your husbands return. You are lonely and he's giving you the much needed attention that your husband cannot give you right now, because he is at sea. Wake the fuck up and think!
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