A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: me and my boyfriend have had alot of breakups. usually he leaves me, and we only stay broke up for a day or so, yea i know..immmature of us. anyways, yesterday we had another fight and i broke up with him for a short 4 hours. i took my stuff with me. i came back because i realized i wasnt putting in the effort i needed to to work threw the problem, so i decided to come back and apologize. after i was back for a few hours, i got onto his computer and found that he made an account on a dating site to find local girls that would be interested in flings. and he had been talking to a few of them, he contacted them first. should i be concerned about this? i know it my fault i left, but now i feel like he's probley cheated on me in the past before all the times he wanted a break up. not to menchion, ive found dating sites on his computer and phone web history before, but i believed him when he said he accidently clicked on them. but this time it wasnt an accident, he had a full blown account and had been e-mailing girls the whole time i was gone for sex. we was only slit up for like 3-4 hours! i need another perspective on this, i cant trust my own judgement when it comes to our relationship anymore. thanks to all who help out...:)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave +, writes (29 November 2010):
It would be best to walk out on him and not go back.
I don't think he did set up that account within the three or four hours you were out of the house. the likelihood is the account was set up a while ago.
Probably not what you want to hear, but needs to be said.
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (27 November 2010):
I dont think either of you are mature enough to be in a relationship.
Constant fighting, breaking up, getting back together - that is NOT what a relationship is all about. This sounds like something you would find in school, with teenagers bickering between themselves.
There are so many hints, so many warning signs, big bells ringing....
It is never going to work. My advice would be to move on.
Let this guy do his internet dating and searching for women to have casual sex with. You need to find a man who actually cares. This one doesnt.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (27 November 2010):
I think you CAN trust your own judgment, but you really would rather not, because of the action it would lead you to take.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (26 November 2010):
There is no relationship. It's just two people who exist. Nothing more. On/off relationships never work out, and all you two do is break up. Even if it's just for a day, there is clearly nothing here between you two. And given that within a matter of hours he was on a dating site for sex, and given that you'd found all that stuff on his computer before, I think it's safe to say that he's not really committed at all.
The time has come for you to move on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010): I think maybe it would be best to not get back with him. He may not be physically cheating on you but going on dating sites to chat up other women is a definate no no in a relationship. And you can't be in a relationship where there's no trust x
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