A
female
age
36-40,
*atie-cola
writes:I am in yet another dilemma. me and my bf split about a week ago now. I went over to his last night for the swapping back of personal items, as you do. However, when i got there we were talking for a while then we ended up sleeping with each other! I know this is wrong, but he has asked me to go back to his again when i have finished uni and go for a meal. I know if i do this, we will end up sleeping together again. We broke up because i couldnt deal with his depression, but when we split up we cant seem to leave each other alone and he seems happier. Any help would be much appreciated. xxx
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male
reader, Uncle Sneaker +, writes (23 May 2008):
 Can't live with him and can't live without him?
It's not unusual. Take it slowly and do what he suggests - go for a meal in a few weeks (I assume that's when uni finishes??) and see what develops. Don't limit yourself to "I'm going to sleep with him" or "I'm not going to sleep with him". On the basis that it's not exactly as if it's going to be a "first time" for either of you, just see how it goes at the time.
It's not "wrong". It may not end up being "right" either. Is there any rush to form a permanent relationship? Is there any rush to move on to someone else? Just take it as it comes.
A
female
reader, Miss sunshine  +, writes (23 May 2008):
 it seems that you are enjoying it as much as he does. if you want to get back together with him you can sit down and talk. tell him what made you go away and if he changes maybe you can try another time. but you have another choise too. if you don't want to be with him but you want to sleep with him you can have an "open relationship". no strings attached. however it is in your hand to stop this. if you don't want to sleep with him or get back together you can just go there pick your things and leave. no talking or going out. it is all your choise. hope i helped :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008): Maybe the split has been the jolt he has needed. Think about it, was he a much nicer person when you met up again, obviously, cos you slept together. maybe you two just need a break, sometime absence makes the heart grow fonder. Often we get in a rut and one of us gets depressed, yet when we are apart we miss the other one, strange, but it is often that the other person is in fact the one we really want to be with. Hope this makes sense.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, Katie-cola +, writes (23 May 2008):
Katie-cola is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBut why is he asking me out like to meals and things if we are only friends and have only just split up? I did enjoy it so, i am not sure if it was a mistake. I know people have sex with their exs, but when does it stop?? I dont know if once it starts we will be ever to let go. I told him last night that i had been asked out on a date and thats when we started to talk and i know he was jealous, so im not sure what he wants. Am i best to go for the meal and then refuse sex? Showing him then that we are just friends? He also sent me a text today, saying last night was amazing, hope to do it again sometime. I cant seem to understand what is going on. Is this just casual sex or is ot something more!! Sorry to moan but i dont know what to do. xxxx
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A
female
reader, lotsofgiggles123  +, writes (23 May 2008):
 well maybe he is just trying to say he is happier as freinds and its ok if you sleep with your ex people do it but do you think that doing that was a mistake if it was you can learn from that in the future hope dis helps.
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