A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I split up with a ex 5 years ago I know it's a long time ago but the problem is I still have feelings for him and I don't know why the relationship was very intense we fell in love straight away but he suddenly started treating me horribly I miscarried and went to hospital on my own then he ended the relationship now everytime I see him I get shaky and nervous and he stares at me what should I do
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (25 July 2017):
 OP, your ex is your ex for a reason. You're only still in love with him because you haven't allowed yourself to move on.
You've got to realise that he done something despicable to you. Something that you need help getting over. You need to revisit what happened what a professional and work through your feelings because this man is not right for you. Not at all in fact.
You're holding on to the good memories of how it was before he betrayed you as well. Those feelings serve to give you hope now but you need to snap out of it. The feelings of nervousness and you shaking are signs that you cannot face him yet and it's also signs that you're not over what happened.
Look, what happened to you was horrible and you need to realise that you cannot heal from somethings like that over night. It takes time and effort to heal.
The reality of the situation though is that under no circumstances should you go back to him.
I wish you luck, OP.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2017): EDIT: "I think buried did inside you,"
I meant to say: "I think buried deep inside you,"
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A
female
reader, Intuitive Becky  +, writes (25 July 2017):
 Oh sweetheart I really feel for you, that is so sad & just awful. I'm sending you virtual hugs. I cannot imagine your heartbreak when you miscarried as well. This is a huge loss & almost like you lost your whole little family at one time - it's no wonder you are grieving. I feel you haven't had the support you needed & felt judged, that is why doing what you are doing now - writing on this board & receiving support is SO beneficial for you. When you feel you are ready to really let go & start a new path things will flourish. Sometimes in life people will stay with us forever, love is love it doesn't just switch off & your such a kind soul it hurts. Be kind to yourself...there is lots on the horizon for you.????????
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2017): I offer you my most sincere condolences for your loss.
No one ever said you'd stop loving someone after a breakup; but if you're healthy you'll heal and get-over him. Lingering feelings that cause anxiety and depression may need some therapy or grief-counseling.
Your mind can't accept the breakup; because there's unfinished business in your subconscious-mind. My guess is that it's not really love that you're feeling. I think buried did inside you, you hate him. You resent his rejection; you're disgusted with his insensitivity and abandonment. You wish you had the chance to do it all over; so you could be the one to cut him loose. You'd love to break his heart like he broke yours!
Am I close?
Sweetheart, you're clinging to the past. You feel he turned his back before you had your chance to take back all your feelings. You don't get to do that. He can only take as much as you give, and when you stop; the supply is cut-off. You have more to give to somebody else. Someone deserving of you. You're highly sensitive, you feel he blames you for the pregnancy and the miscarriage. You want him to forgive you, so you can let go. Forgive yourself, and let go.
He may have turned his back, and abandoned you during the lowest and most painful moment of your life. Your loss took a lot out of you, and his presence certainly must bring back all the memories. Let go of the anger and hate, and you'll feel a ton of weight taken off your shoulders. He's not worth it. You're too full of love to be wasting it on an empty vessel with a hole in the bottom. He has moved on long ago, and you really should see a counselor to deal with your grief for your miscarriage and the death of your relationship.
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A
female
reader, This_is_not_a_dress_rehearsal +, writes (25 July 2017):
 You like panic attacks? Your having them. Natural response to a traumatic relationship . You have any reason you want more mistreatment? You think lowly of yourself? You think your not worth decent treatment?
What should you do? Run like f--k away from loser buttwipe. Tell your medical provider your symptoms and under no circumstances do you get involved with this buttwipe again. Phone a friend if you need human contact.
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A
female
reader, ALM12 +, writes (25 July 2017):
 This sounds like an issue I recently had. I'm now 29 and at 21 I fell in love with a guy named Al who was 24. We had an intense relationship and I too misscarried
A few years ago he contacted me saying he still loved me. I was also head over heels for him and we talked about meeting up to rekindle our relationship. Unfortunately it didn't go as planned.
I would advise you to give it a shot but please be cautious!!!
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (24 July 2017):
 The reason you still have these feelings is because you keep revisiting it in your head. It is in the past like a day on the beach. You can revisit it in your head but it is gone. It isn't real anymore.
Look forward not back. Find things that are good in your present and look to better things in your future. Don't look back. It doesn't grow. It has all changed and you have too.
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