A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi I was online the other day and porn popped up that my boyfriend had been watching ive caught him a few times watching porn but he said he only watches it about once amonth and I dont think thats true I think he watches it way more. I feel like im not good enough for him anymore or why do lads watch porn so much when they are in a relationship its been really bothering me alot lately.
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female
reader, Nancy50  +, writes (2 August 2017):
 I think the way women think about porn is changing with age (I'm 50). Of course, I would be upset if my husband was watching porn all day. But I understand when he does it from time to time. I must confess that sometimes I look at pictures or porn videos on the internet about some particular fantasy. The excess is bad, of course
A
female
reader, Nancy50 +, writes (2 August 2017):
I think the way women think about porn is changing with age (I'm 50). Of course, I would be upset if my husband was watching porn all day. But I understand when he does it from time to time. I must confess that sometimes I look at pictures or porn videos on the internet about some particular fantasy. The excess is bad, of course
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A
male
reader, judgedick  +, writes (25 July 2017):
 I bet it was free porn, you get loads of it and if he looked at one thing and is silly enough to think it is really free and not know that these people track his PC and even know where his mouse is at any time ready to post a pop-up.Men are into the image and the virgin side of things, it is why it is important to them to have a good looking woman, and they are turned on by things like a woman's legs breasts or dumb, they like to be with an intelligent woman, but it is her looks or body or what she dresses in and many women know this so they do them selves up in a way to get a man.Women are more intelligent thinking and over a man's looks and pick a man for other traits more important to them, get turned on by foreplay, you still like a sexy looking man but it is not your first on the list, as you now know what he was looking at and he might look at many different types of porn, you don't know what goes through his mind at the time he was looking. He might be doing it as many men think porn is free sex-ed class, and the sex-ed class they got they all missed out because they were too embarrassed that day and so was the teacher giving it, he might have been looking to get tips, he might be wanting to see the size of the other men, we don't know he might not even know himself now what flashed through his mind to bring him there in the first place, there have all ways been debate over this subject, men differ on it and men and women differ on it, and I myself don't know if anyone has yet figured out what is right, We all have some type porn it might be Cosmo type mag crap or a romantic book or photo as some men make their own or free crap on the net and some are even silly enough to pay for porn, I have a friend in your country that is paid big money to get girls to do a photo shoot for a type of photo, and these are not models often but the girl next door type, or wife, The only thing to worry about is if he starts to look at too much, and at the same time that you don't drive him into looking at it when you're not around, If he must best to do it with you or at very least when you're around. The experts say men think about sex all the time, might be time to have a little chat after tea tonight and explore what ideas that you might have in your minds and get your ideas out in a clear and open and healthy way,
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2017): Men watch porn because its available. Like kids in a sweetie shop they want to try it all and if they get a hard on and bring it up to orgasm they feel fulfilled in a sexual way.They dont have to turn anyone on. Its all just there on display.Its a male dominated industry, run by males, for males.It keeps women firmly where they want them as handy sex objects.Society has conditioned most men to feel its their entitlement and they dont care to listen to women who dont like it.It costs nothing and no one gets hurt or pregnant.It occupies an empty space in their mind.It is a wonderful guilty secret, just for the boys.In their heads it proves they are not gay if its any combination of man/women sex.When they are young it gives them a good chance to scrutinise lady bits and check out what to do or how to move or what kind of noises they might hear.Its not about one on one interaction because no sexual partner is involved.Women have a long way to go to turn the tables on this.Its like trying to get a slab of concrete to float on its own without any bouyancy aids.Its all about disinvolvement and detachment and immersion in the unreal.And its a topic they can joke and laugh over, again with the boys who may be any age up to ninety.The deprivation of porn is as big a deal as loss of freedom to them.It works for them and they expect women to shut up and tolerate it or get sexcrazy and join in.It is insulting to women because it is not about love or feelings but as men tolerate chick flix they expect you to tolerate porn.The best you could do is to check their hands for little green hairs now and again, but then again that would be a honor to them!Women make money out of it as well so politically it is commercially viable.It is a mega industry linked to underworld trafficking and sex slavery etc but women are often so misguided that they see it as a meal ticket or a route to a better life or stardom.It is generally a form of vouyerism that fulfills many needs and is inexpensive to acquire.It is the third presence in the bedroom and they expect women to be pure maddonas who they can stick on a pedestal.They own the pedestal of course.So long as women make babies and keep house and never notice any other stud who could threaten their life they are ok.Porn does not threaten their families they believe.Especially if the woman is unaware of their predelictions or their acquaintance with porn.Other than that women are sluts they feel they can bash about a bit because they feel manly about that also.Im not sure there is an answer.You might as well assume all men are porn addicts until proved otherwise.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2017): I used to watch porn before getting into relationship. Than I stopped there was no need for nearly a year. Than she stops doing stuff, where it's plain vanilla sex and I have to use porn because once or twice a week isn't enough. How else does a man release? And guess what if she found out I'm looking at porn she would go mad. Yet same time she doesn't have sex unless I work my butt off (I can turn her on but its hard work after her rejecting for 1hour it finally works).
Than she complains why I watch porn. So I was getting more action when single than in relationships. Dam this high sex drive.
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A
female
reader, Intuitive Becky  +, writes (25 July 2017):
 Hi lovely lady I can tell from your email just how hurt you are feeling. It can't be nice for you too see that on your computer or to hear it from your boyfriend. So first take a big breath, look at yourself in the mirror and acknowledge how fantastic & strong you really are. I say that because you confronted him & asked him straight out & that proves your a strong women which is exactly what he loves about you. The other thing that I believe is awesome is he admitted he watches it, that is great - he could of made up some "spam email lie"but he didn't which means he respects you. Also I actually believe he loves his intimate relationship with you & is hungry for more & that is why he may occasionally watch it. However if this doesn't feel good for you then maybe just have a chat with him over a drink or dinner & explain how you feel. I think he will understand. The word & colour red keep popping into my head - it could be renewed passion or a recent purchase? Take care beautiful & remember to keep shining & believe in yourself?????????
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2017): P.S.
I don't need or like porn. My partner is hot-stuff!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2017): Watching porn for some guys is an alternative to intercourse and/or cheating; which requires emotional-involvement and satisfying a partner. By nature, men like a variety of partners; but don't really want them in real-life. Just the idea is enough.
This is all given in generalities. It's not written in stone, and each guy has his own individual reasons. It doesn't mean he's unhappy with his sex-life. Sometimes he is. You be the judge. Check your conscience. Are you always nice to him? Do you nag? Emasculate him or insult his manhood? Are you high-maintenance and needy? Knit-picky and always picking fights? Some guys are driven from their partners and retreat to their fantasies. Some are natural-born assholes who were chosen by women who don't make wise choices. Reasons vary man to man.
Watching porn satisfies several male-pleasures.
*Visual-the guy sees an attractive subject, with emphasis on her boobs, butt, and genitals. That helps with arousal. She behaves either coyly or in a cheap and promiscuous way; he'd never want to see his girlfriend or wife behave that way. If you're into role-playing, it might be fun. If he had a choice, it wouldn't be his top choice. He'd rather be committed to someone respectable. Especially the mother of his kids. There's a little bit of voyeurism in all of us. That's why women snoop around behind our backs to see what we're up to!
*Fantasy-there are secret fetishes hidden deep in the minds of some guys, and they would prefer never to bring them to light. So they carry-out their fantasies through actors who say and do things he may like to do, but most likely won't try. If given the choice or opportunity to really act-out his darkest fantasy, most guys wouldn't. There's a limit to what we will actually do in real-life. There's a safety-button and shutoff-valve planted in our brains. That's where we prefer to keep weird stuff. We have mothers and sisters, and the thought of anyone doing that to them, kills us. Our values are deeply ingrained, and we are conditioned that certain behavior is perverted. If we actually did it, we'd creep ourselves out. That's to your benefit!
*Special-effects- because porn is fantasy entertainment, certain sexual-activities are prolonged, you get close-ups, and wide-angles. Lighting helps to focus on body parts, and sounds add to arousal. Orgasms are totally exaggerated. Liquids squirting all over the place, screaming, convulsing and undulating bodies, and sweat. They all lead to a quick climax in just a matter of a few minutes. It's over and done. No performance-rating or evaluation required, nor necessary.
*Pure self-gratification- there is no performance-anxiety to worry about. The hand never complains. The girls always orgasm, and you can hit replay as often as you like. You can shower, and go to sleep, wake-up, and do it all again. If you lose your erection, no problem. Who's going to complain?
There's only a problem when your partner finds out, because you hid it. There is no truth to the myth that any guy wants his girlfriend or wife to look like an over-made-up hooker blow-up doll. What you want for a mate and mother of your offspring doesn't necessarily match a fantasy-girl that you objectify; and really would have little respect for, if you saw her in public. Sex would be the only purpose to meet her. Not to keep her. You wouldn't want to introduce her to your mother.
Many guys use porn only for the visual entertainment-value and for quick-release. You don't necessarily want or need a partner for quick-release. Sometimes a guy doesn't get it as often as he'd like to; but if he got it too often from the same partner, it grows boring or predictable. For some, if not most, who indulge; it's just a way to curb the urges and keep it all at home. He's content with his partner, but he still enjoys the pleasures of masturbation. We have outdoor plumbing and it's always handy. Pardon the pun!
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A
female
reader, ALM12  +, writes (24 July 2017):
 I always left my toiletries at my ex boyfriends house. When I would come over my lotion would be misplaced. He told me he used it when he watched porn jokingly. Eventually he stopped watching it when we brought up the topic.
Maybe you should bring it up to your bf and let him know how you feel.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2017): We just do. Dont beat yourself up about it. If hes not offering up as much sex then there may be a problem but otherwise join him, get involved. The man has obvioulsy got a big appetite.
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