A
female
age
36-40,
*spencer
writes:I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and I love him immensely. When we started out, sex was great for the first 3 to 4 months - we had sex often and we were able to please one another.And then... it got less frequent. That's ok - he's got a new project to work on and he's really busy. I've kept my expectations low and from having sex 3-4 times a week, we had sex once every week.But, about 3 months ago, we started having sex once every 2 - 3 weeks, even so, I have to suggest it. What's been bugging me are 2 things:1. He doesn't show interest in sex as much as I'd like him to. He doesn't make a move on me, and when I do, usually he pushes me away saying it's ticklish and he's not in the mood.2. When we do have sex, he doesn't go down on me anymore. He fondles my breasts and sucks on my nipples but he does it no more than a minute or maximum 2. In fact, many times he would just skip foreplay entirely. Then, he would reach for the condom and would want to penetrate me. Usually, I would stop him from penetrating me and tell him I want to take it slow. Then, I would go down on him, hoping he'd understand I want more foreplay. But right after I'm done, he would want to penetrate me. I don't know how to tell him I like being gone down on. I've hinted many times - Previously, when he did it, I tell him how much I enjoy it. I feel that he does not like doing it and if that's the case, it makes me feel bad forcing him to. But I end up feeling very dissatisfied, especially after waiting 3 weeks to have sex. Please give me some advice.
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breasts, condom, foreplay, in the mood, move on, my ex, nipples Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2010): I know you think you are madly in love, but staying together will be a mistake. You may take this lightly right now, but you have not been together that long. Incompatibilities like this will only get worse in time. I can promise you talk to you are blue in the face but if he has already lost interest in you he is either getting it some place or he has some major sexual,issues you do not want to live with the rest of your life.
A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (11 March 2010):
 No or Less foreplay, means no romance, no love, and it is danger sign for serious relationship. Foreplay without sex is good, no trouble, but only sex without or less foreplay is sure sign that there is something wrong. Your feeling is feeling of insecurity, and justified feeling. I agree with you.
Without wasting time, check his attitude, and make serious discussion, better late than never.
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A
female
reader, kayla20  +, writes (11 March 2010):
 honesty is the best policy.when you first start dating you always have more sex and as the relationship gets more settled you seem to have less sex but if you not satisfied you need to tell him that you feel insecure in the relationship because you feel he isnt making enough effort sexually.maybe you should ask if he still has the same feelings for you and if he does ask him why he doesnt feel the need to do foreplay.you need to tell him you want foreplay and you dont want to feel rushed straight to sex because its almost like his only having sex to get you off of his back but purely just wants to get it over and done with.the longer your with someone the more the thought of sex just fizzles out but if you dont communicate about things that are bothering you in the relationship nothing will change and yourl grow distant.hope this helps
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2010): Hi
Think about other areas of your relationship and whether they have changed, is he more independant of you? Is he going out more? working more? changed his way of doing other things?
It could be that he is just getting complacement and needs a bit of a rocket, you have needs too.
However I hate to say it but most men want sex and need sex. It seems that the intimate side of sex haas gone, is that need for him being fullfiled elsewhere? Has his emotional commitment moved to someone else? so that the sex you have is unemotioonal and lacking intimatcy?
This all happened in a relationship I was in and he had fallen in love with someone else but didnt want to hurt me. so sex became infrequent and by rote.
Hope this helps, and I hope I'm wrong but it really is better to know.
BW
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A
female
reader, Araelia V +, writes (11 March 2010):
 you need to explain to him, obviously. You need to tell him that you feel frustrated and wish to do it more. Also you could tell him you need foreplay to feel bettter before you have sex, If this is not working you should tell him so.
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A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (11 March 2010):
 He may just be stressed out because of work, this can really lower a guys sex drive.
Is there any other signs he is falling out of love with you?
Try talking to him, ask him if hes ok.
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