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female
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anonymous
writes: Hey there, me and my gf have been going out for about 2 years now, after we left school she has gone to 6th form and we never have time for each other and it's making me depressed. I really really miss her and she misses me but i dont know if i can handle not seeing her very often, we talk on the phone but its not the same. Should i stay with her? or start to move on?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Kay-the-Cloud +, writes (17 October 2005):
I think that time has come for you to find someone else. If you are both very distant from each other then find someone that will always be 'reachable'. Good Luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2005): I think you should think about broadening your horizons , and widen your circle of friends, A relationship is going to end up a bit rocky and under strain if you don't actually see each other ! Also if you are lacking in confidence about this ....you maybe have doubts. start socialising more , and talk about how you are feeling . A good relationship is based on trust and talking about you're feelings is the only way forward .A boyfriend and girlfriend have to make time for each other .....quality time is important ! good luck with talking this through.....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2005): move on mate you are young, you both have time to meet new people, live a little and experiment. if you both really loved each other as much as you say you do you'd find the time for each.
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A
male
reader, Ellis Mac +, writes (4 October 2005):
You're so young. You should be out there enjoying yourself. There's a whole world of beautiful people and places to explore, new sights to broaden your mind. The world is your oyster at this age. Make the most of it!
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A
reader, wwww.datinghaven.com +, writes (4 October 2005):
I take it you are both lesbian or did you pick female instead of male?
Anyway, this is irrelevant...
You should start to move on, ok there are people you cant get over however much you try BUT its a natural fault that your relationship deteriates...
I take it you used to see each other often and now you dont but only on phone?
Its good for bf-2-gf, gf-2-gf or bf-2-bf communication by ringing each other up and talking and it can make both you happy and the conversation feel very important HOWEVER IS A VERY POOR REPLACEMENT then MEETING IN PERSON!!
The 2 main limitations are:
* 1. you can only hear the other person: you cant see how they look, you cant smell them, you cant taste them (lol, ok maybe not that one anyway) and you cant feel them.
You cant connect to them on the same wavelength (people believe, and im one of them, that (to cut a long story short) two souls can connect via the eyes - bizare i know)
Apart from models and celebs who get digitally modified, photos dont IMO do people justice, a photo isn't a good enough subsitute the way people move certain features like their eyes etc.
Even though its not as limited as email, snail mail and text message and you can have a conversation where you can fully interact, however, the other person can always put the phone down and you dont get a chance to explain (or apologise) which you would be able to in person (unless they run off, of course).
* 2. Probably the bigger problem: YOU FEEL DISTANT!
maybe its just me who things like this because i have worked for BT (phone operator) but i think of how far the conversation travels...like it going to the exchange etc. (gets more complicated with the internet), anyway....
This could be bs: not having time for each other... 6th form takes up less time then the average job, Ok there is homework etc to do as well but if she did really miss you then it would affect her work! She would do better if you went round and helped her!
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