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We met online but she is 22 years older than me (40) do you think this relationship could work?

Tagged as: Age differences, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 March 2007) 6 Answers - (Newest, 7 February 2009)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, *ufbrajay writes:

Hi

Im 18 and recently went on a few dates with a 40 year old women, after meating her online, i think it went really well, but do you think we will get a lot o trouble becuase of the 22year age gap? And is anyone else in a similar situation.

Thanks for any input :)

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A male reader, nash United Kingdom +, writes (7 February 2009):

I am in pretty much the same situation, I'm 17 and she is 39 though she is married with two kids and I'm not sure if it's anywhere near that with you and your woman. The relationships can easily work as long as both of you want it too and you both have lots in common, me and the 39 year old I'm seeing first met on an online game, not even an online dating or chat site! but we have so much in common that we ended up telling each other secrets and things we felt we couldn't tell anyone, the trust kept us together. we became more involved and we are happy that it happened, yes you may get frowned upon and maybe hurt by the problems that many people have with this kind of relationship but if you can both ignore these things and just care about the other person the relationship could last forever.

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A male reader, nash United Kingdom +, writes (7 February 2009):

I am in pretty much the same situation, I'm 17 and she is 39 though she is married with two kids and I'm not sure if it's anywhere near that with you and your woman. The relationships can easily work as long as both of you want it too and you both have lots in common, me and the 39 year old I'm seeing first met on an online game, not even an online dating or chat site! but we have so much in common that we ended up telling each other secrets and things we felt we couldn't tell anyone, the trust kept us together. we became more involved and we are happy that it happened, yes you may get frowned upon and maybe hurt by the problems that many people have with this kind of relationship but if you can both ignore these things and just care about the other person the relationship could last forever.

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A female reader, AskEve United Kingdom +, writes (11 March 2007):

AskEve agony auntIt depends just how mature you are for your age. This might all seem exciting just now but in months to come you might get bored. I would take things very slowly and see how the relationship develops. You'll probably get a lot of flack from your friends but if you like her then ignore it, it will soon wear off.

It may work, it may not. It's entirely up to you and your ladyfriend and just how deep your feelings are for one another. It's not impossible but it could go either way.

Eve

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2007):

I don't think you will get into a lot of trouble, but the 40 year old will get lots of flack for dating an 18 year old.....I think the age gap would not be as important if you were about 10 to 15 years older and knew what you wanted out of life....you are really just a kid, don't mind me saying that.

It could be that your 40 year old is just looking for a sexual relationship and if you are too, then I guess it would work out fine....if you don't care that this relationship ends up in marriage and she is realistic about that as well, if you enjoy each other's company and have enough in common even if it is just your sense of humor, then I think you can do what ever you think is best, after all, you are of legal age, and so is she...it is really no one elses' business but the two of you.

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A female reader, aunty t Ireland +, writes (10 March 2007):

aunty t agony auntIm not in this situation but there was a 17year gap between my friends mum and dad.(she was older) If she makes you happy and you enjoy her company I would go for it. Life is too short to be bothered what other people think of you. Everyone has an opinion mixed race,mixed religion etc. Go and have some fun with this woman and enjoy yourselves.

Best of luck

Ps my friends mum and dad are still happily married after 40 years together.

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A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (10 March 2007):

cd206 agony auntIt depends what you both want from a relationship. That's the one thing that could tear you apart because of the age difference. Because she's older she'll be wanting something stable, something lasting and more than likely no more kids. What do you want? You're still very young and I'm doubtful about whether you should tie yourself down to one woman or if that would make you happy. Plus are you at peace with the idea of never having kids? I suggest you speak to her openly about what you both want from a relationship and make a decision based on what you find out.

CD

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