A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey all,bare with me, this may be long.Okay, there's this amazing guy..we have been a thing for over two years. he has asked me to be his girlfriend, but I say no because I'm not good enough. He says he loves me, I know I love him too, but I haven't said it back because I know he wouldn't love me if he truly saw how ugly I am.Everything about him is wonderful, we get along great, we've never even had a single fight. I love being with him, but I'm so self conscious and it makes it hard to be comfortable.Okay so, I'm really ugly. like terrible skin, gross body..there's absolutely nothing I like about myself. but I hide all of it from him, well the best I can at least. and when my makeup starts coming off after we nap or whatever, I immediately wanna run away and try and put more make up on..I hide my face and I can't look him in the eyes because I'm so ugly. Also, we're both virgins still and that means a lot to me. he's been in college and he says he considers me his girlfriend, so he hasn't and won't do anything with anyone else, but me. and he says he will wait, even if it takes me years to be ready. I keep hoping I'll become better looking and I'll be good enough for him, but I've been waiting two years. I can't imagine my life without him, or him with another girl...but should I end it? or should I just keep hoping my skin gets better and my body gets less disgusting.. I love him and he deserves the absolute best, but I can't give it to him. He could get any girl he wants. I feel like I'm holding him back.We love each other..but I hate myself.Please, help me here...
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female
reader, BondGirl72  +, writes (9 June 2012):
 Why are you putting yourself down so much? You have a wonderful man who cares about you...that should make you feel beautiful. Plus, if you feel that badly about yourself...there are things you can do to work on yourself. Go to the dermatologist, etc. Finding the right person to be with is hard enough...don't lose a great guy just because your self-esteem is on the low side. He obviously thinks the world of you. Most women would love to be in your shoes. If you were holding him back, believe me...you would know because he would leave! Men do not stick around people or situations they don't like. Be confidant that you have a great guy and enjoy your life!
A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (9 June 2012):
 He's not in love with your complexion or the way you put your mascara on. He's in love with your heart, your personality, your spirit. If he broke out into a rash, what would your reaction to him be? If you think 'not so bad' that's probably how he thinks too. As our love grows for one another, you see past little flaws and often do not think flaws that others see in themselves. I've mentioned to my boyfriend how i hate my stretch marks and he's genuinely asked me where they were, where I just can't believe he DOESN'T see them. He's made a choice to be with you and it's not out of some self-pity or duty to you, he cares about you. You need to trust in him and his belief in you and that he can look past your skin or physical imperfections. He's already proven himself as not a shallow guy by not running away after no sex, you can be sure that he will be able to embrace even more of you when you are able to reveal yourself soon. I would confide in him some of your insecurities, you can start small with makeup, and ask for his support or encouragement to be natural/yourself with him, because it will ultimately make you feel more comfortable taking the next step with him. Beating yourself up as disgusting is 100x less attractive than any physical feature. Embrace who you are as you are and your happiness will be beauty in the eyes of your man.
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