A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I live in the United States and have been in a relationship with a girl from the Philippines. We have known each other for over two years now and have often expressed how much we love and appreciate each other through mainly IM and email, and on a few occasions by phone. Through IM we also connected on each others web cam. When I first met her I was married, so was she and the relationship was pure friendship. I am now divorced now on issues that have nothing to do with my friend from the Philippines, and she did help me go through the hard times when my marriage broke down. She had been through similar experiences with her husband, and they too have broken up, and have been apart for over a year and a half now. She is not divorced but she wants to be, and in fact the marriage to this guy was a secret to her own family. The laws in her country make it difficult for her to divorce. But I know there has to be some way to get it annulled. She also has lost her visa and is trying to get it replaced. My situation is this…I love her and I know she loves me. If we didn’t live so far apart I know that we would be lovers and could live a happy life together, and I don’t think we would hesitate to marry each other if the situation were right. But we are also being realistic. I am on the opposite side of the world to her…..quite literally…12 am to me is 12 pm for her. But we share so much. We share the same values and religion, both Christian. We may have many cultural differences but on a human level we understand each other. I call her my girlfriend which probably isn’t right…but that’s partly what I want some feedback on. Would it be appropriate to call her my girlfriend? Should I pursue going to see her with the possibility of planning to bring her to the states in the future and marrying? Her parents are wealthy, so taking care of them is not an issue. If anyone here has had any similar long distant relationship can you please give me some insight. Even though we have mostly communicated online, can you call this a relationship?I want to keep dating women close to me, but this relationship is always on my mind. If I could have any woman in the world it would be her. I am being honest here. Is this worth pursuing?
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female
reader, Devilish Angel +, writes (29 January 2008):
 You should really use your mind before you fall in love. Ask yourself this. Does you want to get with you because you are her ticket from a bad marriage and a ticket to a better life in America? These things happen.
You gotta spend more time with her before you really know for a certainty that she is the real deal and sincere in her love.
A
female
reader, nikkij  +, writes (25 January 2008):
 I kept a relationship for two years with someone who lived on a seperate continent...it was difficult, but so worth while because I never had a connection with someone the way I had with him...If you think you can make it work, then go for it...
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A
female
reader, speedcat +, writes (25 January 2008):
hi! im happy you found someone who you feel connected to. You seem to have alot in common and share some sort of bond. Have you ever had any close contact with this woman? I dont believe long term relationships work,,,I believe that people need touch and physical contact with each other. If youve never been close to this woman I suggest some time off of work and pack your bags and go visit or vise versa,,,spend some time with her! If all is well then go for it,,you only live once life is short. best of luck
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A
female
reader, nailglitter18  +, writes (25 January 2008):
 I've had one relationship that was purely over the internet, and although we didn't have the physical contact that most people have, I wouldn't ever hesitate to call it a relationship. It's even harder this way, which is why I think it counts more... because you're a lot less likely to just be with the person for the perks, if you get what I mean. ;)The relationship I'm in now started when we met in person... we were together for 5 months, and then he left the marine corps, and went home to the US. I went on to college. We're still together, coming up on our 1 year anniversary of being "together". Would I say that we've been together for a year? yes, because ever since we've met, there hasn't been a single day when we haven't talked (aside from some time over Christmas when things were a little strained).The distance makes it harder, but if the feelings are there, then on one has the right to tell you that it's NOT a relationship.Good luck!xxP.S. One last thing- DO make sure she feels the same way!
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