A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Sorry this is kinda long but i really need some advice and please no rude answers!! There is this guy who I lost my virginity to. he's 21 and I'm 18, we're both in college. we have a lot in common and he said that he liked me but just got out of a long term relationship and was too busy to have a serious relationship. We still continued to have sex and do nothing else together. Whenever he called to see me, it was at night to have sex. i said that it was over because i felt like I was being used and he said that he completely understood and didn't blame me for feeling this way but it was only because of his schedule (he told me all the things that he had to do and it DID sound like he was very busy). When he said that, it made me feel better and I decided to give him another chance (don't get me wrong he didn't sweet talk or anything, it was mostly my choice). We did more relationship stuff together but not too much. he said he would call me but never did, I always end up calling him. I must have been stupid cause I thought he really liked me and I always end up feeling so empty inside when i don't hear from him. Whenever i see him, I can't say no. Maybe it's because i lost my virginity to him, but he has some kind of power over me. Why do I keep doing this to myself? Why can't I just say "no" to him?? I could really use some help please!!
View related questions:
lost my virginity Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (5 June 2008):
 If you want to learn how to say 'NO!"
Go stand infront of the mirror and practice saying 'NO!' a 100x.
See your own natural reactions and pick that stern face .
Rehearsed it and fine tuned it to perfections.
A
female
reader, pepper27  +, writes (4 June 2008):
 Hunny Im glad that made you feel better, have a read of that link sweetheart it really is a fab one TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
...............................
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (4 June 2008):
 Cool idea Tisha! I'm liking that! lol
xxx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your help!! this made me feel better and realize i deserve much better than him!! i will NOT call him anymore and when he does (he will prob want more sex) i will just end it.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (4 June 2008):
 You've got some good advice from hlskitten and pepper27. Time to work on your self-esteem.
One evil thought sprang to mind. Next time he comes around for sex, tell him that you need to have a talk with him. Then tell him that you think you're pregnant.
If that doesn't send him running for the hills, I'd be very surprised. I expect you'll see what he's really made of then.
Take care, and please follow that link pepper27 sent you.
Time to seize control of your own destiny.
...............................
A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (4 June 2008):
Hi Hunny
This guy knows what he is doing and your confidence is so low at the moment your letting him because its the only time you feel close to him..You have to build up that self esteem, Ok so you lost your virginity to this guy it doesnt mean you did anything wrong just with the wrong person as he may not have appeared to have sweet talked you but he went around it in a clever way sweetheart...You now have to get you strong so that you can say NO!!!!And dont phone him, Its obvious he has such a busy life style that he just about fits you in at the end of the night love and this Im afraid is not going anywere he just wants to get laid...I dont mean to be harsh or sound mean but he really does no what he is doing love and at this moment he has you wrapped around his little finger...If you dont phone will he contact you because he has missed your company? my guess is no...So take care of you get your confidence back and move on from this guy and pop it down to a learning experience.....
http://www.womensselfesteem.com/index.html
Hunny this is an amazing link I hope it helps you in some way to gain your confidence back and be able to say NO! TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOTS OF LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni think you're right. i feel like he likes me for me when he only likes me for my body. i think i subsitute sex for love. guys always try to do this with me, but he is the only one who i actually let.
...............................
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (4 June 2008):
Because your self esteem is too low to.
(don't get me wrong he didn't sweet talk or anything, it was mostly my choice). ...
My god the guy has played a blinder! What school of tricks did he attend????
If you really want to see if its not just the sex side he's after, when he comes round at night, say you just want to chat and hang out, not have sex everytime because of what you said to him before, about being used. And he said he understood remember..
I think you will soon see him for his true colours.
I could be wrong though of course..
C xxxx
...............................
|
